Have you ever watched videos of Buddhist monks and wished you could have the same level of inner peace that they’ve managed to attain? Well, the bad news is that you’d likely have to ditch your current life and go live in a monastery for a decade, sipping yak butter tea to get to that same level of spiritual bliss.
The good news, however, is that you can still unlock an extraordinary amount of inner peace by adopting a few simple habits and adhering to them diligently. Here are 7 to try:
1. Scheduling regular periods of quiet.
Most people live in a constant state of overstimulation. They’ll scroll on their phones while watching TV, and try to focus on work at the office while listening to music or being subjected to dozens of conversations around them all day. Even the subtle background sounds that we can mostly tune out, such as the hum of a fridge or CPU, contribute to the sound pollution that infiltrates every aspect of our lives.
This state of nonstop stimuli can overload people’s minds to the point where they’re in perpetual fight or flight mode. It can contribute to anxiety, depression, “brain fog,” and chronic irritability.
To counteract these effects and unlock the peace hidden within, it’s important to have regularly scheduled quiet time. Lie in a dark, quiet room or take a bath with the lights off, and allow yourself to unwind. Unclench your jaw, let your shoulders drop, and breathe in that silence deeply.
2. Finding a heatsink to soak up your stress — especially one that requires focus.
If many aspects of your life are high stress, or if you’re always surrounded by chaos, find a hobby or other pursuit that you can use to decompress — especially if it requires you to focus fully on it. This kind of micro-focus helps you to be fully present, without being affected by all the stressful things swirling around you on a constant basis.
One hobby that has gained in popularity over the past few years is miniature building, for example. This goes beyond painting action figures or making dollhouses and moves into the realm of “book nooks,” dioramas, terrariums, and vehicle model building. If that’s not your bag, you may be interested in something like playing guitar (or making one!), bookbinding, calligraphy, mycology, or gardening.
3. Limiting exposure to stressful situations (and people) wherever possible.
We can’t avoid all stresses in our lives (as much as we’d like to), but we can try to limit them to the best of our ability. The key here is to have iron-clad boundaries when it comes to the stresses in our lives, and how much of our time we’re willing to spend tolerating them.
For example, if you work at a stressful job, ensure that you’re strictly boundaried about not doing any work outside of the office, if that’s feasible. Similarly, if there are people in your life who cause you stress, limit your contact with them as fiercely as you can. In fact, if you can avoid them entirely, then that’s the best choice possible. Furthermore, if you have the opportunity to ditch the stressful job for one that’s significantly calmer, see if you can do that as well.
4. A daily meditative practice that works for you.
When you think of meditation, what is it that you envision? Sitting cross-legged on a cushion, chanting in Sanskrit, surrounded by incense smoke? While mantra meditation is certainly one form, it isn’t the only one. There are several different forms, all of which can bring great amounts of inner peace to those who practice them. The key is to find the one that works best with your personality and energy levels.
I burn hot and have high energy, so I do Ashtanga Vinyasa “power” yoga for my meditative practice. This suits me well, allows me to focus my thoughts and emotions, while simultaneously burning off energy several times a day. In contrast, my partner prefers to sit in stillness, darkness, and complete silence.
Whichever form you choose to use for your habit, know that meditation can significantly alleviate stress and bring greater inner peace by helping you to be in the present moment, rather than spiraling and catastrophizing.
5. Avoiding things that are overly agitating to you.
In Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine, those who feel overly agitated and are seeking to improve their inner peace are encouraged to reduce things that aggravate yang or pitta. In Western traditions, people who want to experience more peace are encouraged to do the same, namely, avoiding too much caffeine, hot spices, angry music, and jolts-per-second entertainment in favor of cooling foods and drinks, gentle music, reading books or watching documentaries, and so on.
Determine the things that make your anger or anxiety rise versus those that cool you down and soothe you, and make the latter your priority. You may be surprised to discover how switching to Beethoven rather than Cradle of Filth and choosing herbal tea over double espresso may unlock the inner peace that you’ve been craving.
6. Learn to lean into the discomforts that are preventing you from finding peace.
Some people strive to unlock their inner peace for years, only to discover that they were preventing themselves from accessing it the entire time. One of the main ways that they do this is by trying to avoid the things that make them uncomfortable. This usually leads to masking the very symptoms that their bodies and minds are using to tell them what needs to be paid attention to.
As such, one of the best things you can do to unlock your inner peace is to determine the source of your discomfort and then find approaches to treat it rather than turning away from it.
For example, do you fill silence with music because you’re uncomfortable dealing with your past? Or do you self-soothe with any vices to help you deal with painful triggers? If so, work through those memories or triggers so they no longer affect you, ideally with a trained professional. With the right help, you can discard each of these unhelpful behaviors like unpeeling an onion, and you’ll be able to access the peace that’s already within you.
7. Journaling.
You may cringe at the idea of keeping a journal, but you’d be amazed at how cathartic it can be. Journaling allows people to express all the feelings that whirl through them on a constant basis, but can’t necessarily be discussed with those around them. Depending on your personal preferences, you can find anything from a leather-bound tome to a sparkly unicorn diary, and fill it with your innermost thoughts and observations.
Some people are hesitant to do this type of journaling because of traumatic past experiences. For example, if a parent or partner invaded their privacy and confronted them about what was written. If that’s the case, a password-protected computer file works just as well as a paper journal.
Set aside a specific amount of time on a regular basis to put these thoughts down, such as on weekday evenings before bed, or over a leisurely breakfast on Sunday mornings. Having an outlet that allows you to exorcise all your thoughts and emotions in a safe, protected manner can bring an astonishing amount of inner peace.
Final thoughts…
Everyone has peace within them that they can unlock and tap into — it’s just a matter of finding which keys can help you access yours. This is why it’s important to try out different approaches so you can find out which works for you.
Try not to get discouraged if you don’t turn into a paragon of peace overnight, but instead recognize that it may take you a while to get to the gooey, peaceful center you’re trying to access. The key is not to abandon the endeavor if it doesn’t happen immediately. After all, most locks open best with gentle care, not violence.
