Life is best viewed as a long game to be played. Life, like games, needs rules, structure, and strategy to not just survive, but to thrive. As a middle-aged man with a mental illness, I spent the first few decades of my life just kind of skating through day-by-day. The problem with that mentality is that you don’t build anything meaningful, because a meaningful life doesn’t happen by accident.
Most meaningful things you’ll have in life come from long-term planning and habits. What kind of habits can you cultivate now for a better future?
1. Understand that long-term results are more important than short-term gratification.
Inevitably, you will come across situations where you have to make a choice between short-term gratification and long-term results. For example, in my case, I was never all that careful with my health and what I ate. I regularly chose short-term gratification in the form of whatever food was in front of me, rather than making healthier choices.
That largely happened because of my depression. I just didn’t care about myself or the future all that much, so it made no difference to me either way. I never thought I would live to middle age, so what difference would it make? But now, now I’m getting older, I’m still here, and I’m dealing with health issues because I didn’t value the long-term effects.
Most meaningful things in life will take time, from planting the seed until you can enjoy the fruits of your labor. That could be higher education, relationships, or even something as simple as eating healthy to have a healthier body and mind.
2. Choose consistency over major bursts of progress.
Big results come from small, consistent efforts. Consider a brick building. It doesn’t start off as a fully realized building, does it? No. It doesn’t even start off from the first brick laid. It starts from the person who decided to go to college for an architectural degree, and all of their small steps in studying, doing their homework, and becoming licensed.
Then the building goes into planning, with someone needing to compile the lists of materials needed to actually put it together. From there, contractors have to put the building together. Arguably, the mason who is laying the bricks is doing one of the most important jobs on the site. That is, he is laying each brick, correctly mortared and square, until the building is done.
That metaphor works for so many things in life. Diet? Each meal is an opportunity to lay a brick. Exercise? Every morning you decide to walk when you don’t want to is another brick. Career? Every application you put out is another brick. Consistently laying each brick will lead you to your goals much faster and more efficiently than trying to rush it all at once.
3. Understand the need to say “no.”
The sooner you realize that the only person who is truly looking out for you is yourself, the easier life gets. That doesn’t mean that you need to be selfish. Instead, it means to understand that when other people are asking things of you, they are trying to fulfill their needs first. People are inherently self-interested just as a matter of survival.
Your ability to say “no” protects your time, money, mental health, and emotional energy. People who are focused on long-term goals understand that everything they agree to do for other people is taking away from their own efforts. Of course, that should be balanced when you have healthy relationships. Yes, it’s good to help people out or spend time with other people. However, you have to be able to say “no” in situations that don’t serve you.
For example, let’s say your sibling asked you to go out and party on a Wednesday because that’s their night off. Normally, you would, but you have a test you have to study for the next day. You can either use Wednesday night to party with your sibling or have those hours to reinforce your knowledge of the material. “No” is necessary here if you want to play the long game and succeed.
4. Consider the potential outcomes of decisions before making them.
Like playing chess, you have to think a few moves ahead when you’re trying to play any kind of long game. It’s helpful to consider all of the ways in which the thing can go right and how things can go wrong.
There is a practice from the philosophy of Stoicism to envision the absolute worst-case scenario for a decision you might be making. The reason to do this is to anticipate what might happen so you can have a response already in mind in case things don’t go as planned. It also helps you emotionally prepare for the fallout if things do go badly. That way, you’re not just surprised by it.
Consider what will happen from the result of a choice or goal, and what will come from that. What is the worst-case scenario? How can you minimize potential damage or pivot to continue on from your goal if disaster strikes? To be clear, this is not the same as getting caught in a catastrophizing thought spiral, which is unhelpful. This is productively looking forward and having a plan B (or C, or D) in place in case it’s needed.
5. Be intentional with your actions and behavior.
People with long-term goals who are moving through life like a chess game are very intentional with their choices. They aren’t wasting time on superfluous activities or unplanned laziness. The people who are accomplishing things most effectively are intentional in what they do, even when that intention is rest and relaxation, self-care, or self-maintenance.
Busy people who are striking a healthy work-life balance are regularly putting rest, self-care, and self-maintenance into their schedules. Then, when those times roll around, they follow through on them with intention. Similarly, if they need to perform an activity that will bring them closer to their goals, they focus on doing that activity to the best of their ability.
For example, if you schedule a block of time to look for a job, then you’re looking for that time. You’re not doom-scrolling or chatting with a friend or whatever else. Instead, intentionally focus on the task at hand and schedule the chat with a friend for another time. You’ll find you get much more done in a shorter amount of time that way.
6. Remember that luck happens when preparation meets opportunity.
Luck is an interesting subject because there are so many ways to look at it. The most common view is that luck is just an abstract quality of things going right or wrong. However, long-term thinkers understand a different truth about luck. That is, luck happens when preparation meets opportunity.
Let’s say you have a big goal in mind, a big job promotion that you have an eye on. However, you didn’t plan ahead for it. You didn’t do the required training that would have helped you get that job. Instead, you chose short-term gratification time and time again over doing the training. The job position opens up, and you get passed over for it.
Is that bad luck? No. It’s not. And it’s not good luck for the person who lands the role either. Most likely, that person created a plan to have the requirements for that job when it came open. They prepared, so when the opportunity came, they were able to secure the job.
Luck is often not random. In fact, there are plenty of situations in life where random chance is barely a factor. Random chance certainly does play a role in many situations, but it tends to be far less than you may imagine.
Closing thoughts…
The long game is not a game of excitement and winning all the time. Instead, it’s a methodical approach to life, relationships, or whatever other goals you may be working toward.
Impulsiveness is nice for a while. It can be exciting and thrilling. No doubt, it can also bring with it positives like enhanced creativity, quick thinking, and rapid decision-making in a crisis. But unfortunately, it can also heavily limit your progress in life when you are sacrificing your goals for short-term gratification.
I know that it can be hard to think long-term, especially when there are so many shiny distractions and particularly if you’re genetically predisposed to impulsivity. However, it’s important to spend at least a little bit of time practicing sitting with and thinking through the present moment if we want to work toward our future.
