Are you in your contentment phase? That period in your life where you cherish peace and fulfillment, rather than pursuing temporary, drama-filled highs.
Instead of perpetually chasing sharp dopamine and endorphin rushes, you feel an immense sense of fulfillment from things that bring you calm, gentle satisfaction.
The examples listed below are some of the simple pleasures that may bring you the greatest contentment, as you live in the moment, enjoying the peace it brings.
1. A complete lack of FOMO.
In case you’re unfamiliar with the acronym, “FOMO” stands for “fear of missing out.”
It’s an issue that plagues many young people who are eager to experience everything they can, while they can.
They try to cram as many activities as possible into their schedules, feel left out if they haven’t been invited to events, and forgo sleep in favor of sensory delight.
A person who has entered their contentment stage tends to practice “JOMO” (JOY of missing out) instead.
It’s a huge step away from social commitments, digital connectivity (like social media obligations), and sensory overwhelm, and a step towards immersion in things that bring you calm and peace.
You don’t feel sad about “missing out” on anything: you’ve experienced quite enough thanks, and would rather spend your time as you see fit, being calm and content while doing things that don’t require a week’s recovery afterwards.
2. Taking a long, hot shower or bath.
Luxuriating in water is a treat that those with rushed, harried lives don’t get to enjoy much. Many people spend years rushing through morning showers before work, or try to enjoy a quick bath every so often before the kids start hammering on the door.
As such, it’s a beautiful luxury to spend as long as you like in the shower or bath, enjoying the sensation of water at the exact temperature you like.
If you have the means, you might have splurged on a fancy showerhead that massages your shoulders and scalp, or a jacuzzi tub that does similar. Perhaps you’re even lucky enough to enjoy a hot tub outside where you can gaze up at the stars while you turn into soup.
Regardless of your watery preference, it brings you immense contentment to enjoy it without a pressing desire to be anywhere else at that moment.
3. Working on a hobby that you love.
When you’re in your contentment phase, you may suddenly discover that you derive an extraordinary amount of satisfaction from simple pleasures like doing a hobby you love while listening to the rain (or perhaps a podcast) rather than partying at a stadium with 50,000 new friends.
Personally, my favorite way to spend an evening is to sit by my woodstove with a mug of soup and a crossword puzzle, textile project, or good book within easy reach.
So many people underestimate the solace that can be found through calming pursuits and a regulated nervous system.
4. Getting enough sleep without being startled awake.
Did you know that morning alarms shock you awake with a sudden burst of cortisol and adrenaline every morning?
This is similar to the “fight-or-flight” reaction you get when you’re suddenly afraid for your life. Research shows your blood pressure and heart rate skyrocket, making you begin each morning in a heightened state, so you’re already stressed before you’ve even properly begun your day.
As such, it’s an immense blessing to be able to sleep on your own schedule, according to your individual circadian rhythm, and get up when you’re rested rather than because you have to rush anywhere.
This often happens after you retire, but can also occur if you’re self-employed (and don’t have other early morning responsibilities) so you can work on your own schedule. And for those who still have to hold down 9-5s or do the morning school run, this simple pleasure is often reserved for the weekends instead.
5. Being out in nature.
Being out in nature lowers your cortisol (stress hormone) levels and fills you with a sense of calm and wellbeing. It’s no surprise then that many people turn to nature-related hobbies and pursuits in midlife and beyond, ranging from birdwatching or mycology to trail hiking and forest bathing.
Those who are in their contentment phase often find immense joy and satisfaction from being outside, whether it’s watching dolphins in the ocean or seeing interesting animals and plants out in the forest.
If you fall into this category, it’s likely that you no longer need the excitement of dancing until dawn or other thrill-seeking adventures, and feel far more content adding a new bird to your watchlist and picking some wild berries instead.
6. Spending quality time with your companions (human or otherwise).
When you have sincerely good individuals in your life — human or non-human — it’s an absolute joy to spend quality time with them.
Depending on the companion, you may find yourself chatting over coffee for hours at a time, feeling like no time has passed at all, or simply enjoy being in each other’s calm company.
Either way, when you’re with this companion, the rest of the world might as well not exist.
All that matters to you is that you’re spending time with a friend who means everything to you, and there’s nothing else you’d rather be doing. At all.
7. Enjoying really good food and beverages.
Unfortunately, a lot of us have a habit of eating while otherwise engaged, such as watching TV or scrolling on our phones, and we suddenly discover that we’ve finished what we were consuming without much of a memory of having done so.
But the satisfaction and joy of a wonderful meal or tasty beverage can be unparalleled if you’re fully present while enjoying it.
When you’re present while enjoying these things, you savor all the different flavors, textures, aromas, and other nuanced joys.
There are few things that make me happier than drinking my morning cup of coffee (with cream and salted dark chocolate syrup) on the porch every morning, watching birds at the feeder, and listening to the river nearby.
Similarly, a bowl of soup from a pot that’s been simmering and amalgamating flavors all day is a sublime joy to experience on a cold, rainy autumn evening.
8. Resting without feeling like you should be doing something else.
Far too many people feel that they need to “earn” rest, or that they’re being lazy if they aren’t in a constant state of productivity.
These individuals often align their self-worth with their accomplishments and how useful they are to others, so if they’re relaxing, they feel that their value in other people’s eyes lessens by the minute.
But if you’ve entered your contentment phase, you’ll likely feel zero guilt whatsoever about resting whenever you need to.
Maybe you take afternoon naps regularly, and prioritize rest on evenings and weekends instead of socializing. There’s no urgent feeling that you “should” be doing anything other than taking care of yourself.
9. Browsing and dreaming rather than creating action plans.
When you were younger, you might have felt guilty if you went into a store and didn’t buy anything. Similarly, you might have only allowed yourself to browse furniture or decor items if you planned on taking action to redo parts of your house.
Now, you look at beautiful things and are perfectly content to daydream about how they might look on you or in your home without the pressure to buy them or plan costly renovations.
The visualizations can remain in daydream land, a Pinterest board, or a scrapbook, until such time as you feel like trying them out. If you ever do!
The joy is in the possibility and imagination, rather than the tangible, and that’s enough for you.
Final thoughts…
Whereas happiness may be fierce but fleeting, contentment is sustainable and immensely comforting to experience.
Once you find the magic formula that grants you the contentment you’re looking for, you can put your energy towards cultivating it in the ways that suit you best.
You know which foods you enjoy, which hobbies are both engaging and relaxing for you, what type of company you’d like to keep (or not, if you prefer solitude!), and you can make a point of prioritizing all of those rather than performing for other people’s expectations.
