For many of us, our 20s and 30s were a bit of a blur. Schoolwork, relationships, concerts, marriages, children, and countless responsibilities took up so much of our time that it was like we floated through them rather than experiencing them fully.
All of a sudden, we blink and realize that we’ve hit midlife. If, like me, you would like to fully embody your middle years (and beyond) rather than sleepwalking through them, consider putting some of the following practices into regular rotation:
1. A focus on body neutrality and health rather than clinging to youth.
From what I’ve heard from others, both in my own social circles and from online discussions, a lot of people have midlife crises when they reach middle age and see their youth slipping away.
This can be particularly true for those who placed enormous value on their physical attractiveness when they were younger.
Aging does some creative and horrifying things to our bodies, faces, and hair (everywhere), so having these things change dramatically in our 40s and beyond can be quite harrowing.
But those who embrace body neutrality rather than fervent positivity are often much happier and more vibrant than those who try to stall the clock by any means necessary.
They focus on strength training to maintain bone health, muscle capability, and overall stability, and choose nourishing foods that replenish and hydrate them as well as tasty treats on regular occasions.
These practices make midlife and beyond much more enjoyable than punishing and tormenting their bodies for the sake of (fruitlessly) trying to look and feel the same way they did at 25.
2. Engaging in constant learning in an area that excites you.
I’m in the last year of my forties, and will be enrolling in a new university degree program in September.
It’s only part-time and online, so I can take as long as I’d like to earn this degree. But crucially, it’s in a subject I wanted to study 30 years ago — one that I’m passionate about, and I now have both the time and the focus to devote to it properly.
According to Harvard Health and the American Psychological Association, learning new things improves cognitive health and keeps your brain active and healthy overall.
“Older adults are also more likely to remember things that engage their curiosity,” says Alan Castel, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of California.
As such, by learning things that captivate your curiosity and motivate you to learn more, there’s a greater chance that you’ll maintain mental acuity well into older age.
3. Reinvention — either of yourself, or your space.
Many cultures and spiritual traditions have rituals for when people enter new phases of life.
Quite a lot of them focus on puberty as a “coming-of-age” celebration, such as the bar/bat mitzvah or quinceañera, but there are also wedding and baby showers, and retirement parties.
Very few cultures have rituals or celebrations for those who are entering midlife, however.
Yet this period in your life is worth celebrating, and is a spectacular time for personal reinvention.
If you’ve been dressing a certain way for decades, or had your home decorated in a particular aesthetic, now is a great time to cast those things aside and be more authentic.
In fact, earlier today I saw a post online in which a woman created a gift registry to celebrate being in menopause! She’s using this time in her life to redo her kitchen, and everyone she knew contributed to getting all new dishware, linens, and cookware.
Of course, you don’t need to go this route (and personal shouldn’t be expected to buy you gifts), but definitely establish some type of personal ritual or shindig in which you celebrate the transition into this new life phase.
4. Having regular “exploration” days.
This could be part of your date night schedule with your partner, if you have one, or something you do either with friends or on your own.
Pick something that you’ve never done before, and immerse yourself in this new experience.
You get to decide how often you’d like to venture into unexplored territory and how far out of your comfort zone you’d like to meander, but do try a wide range of experiences rather than variations on a common theme.
If you’ve always been creative, try an art form in a medium you’ve never worked in before. Savor food from a cuisine you’ve never tried, or go to a museum dedicated to a subject that you’ve never given much thought to.
You may be pleasantly surprised to discover a new niche interest or passion, and what’s more, it can do wonders for your confidence.
5. Travel to new places within your means.
Not everyone has the budget to travel around the world, but that doesn’t mean they can’t explore new areas.
Day or weekend trips can allow you to venture to places that are still close to home, but are new to you. Bonus points if you can travel by bus or train so you can relax and enjoy the scenery with tasty snacks and beverages instead of concentrating on driving.
Do some research to find places of interest within a couple hundred miles of your home. You may be pleasantly surprised to discover little gems that you haven’t had the occasion or opportunity to check out yet. There may be some enormous vegetable sculptures near you that you’ve never seen in person, or even natural wonders like hot spring geysers.
6. Cultivate new connections with people.
Some people who reach midlife end up a bit socially stunted because they’ve maintained a very small, closed circle for decades.
For example, one of my aunts by marriage doesn’t have any friends other than her sisters. She married the boy next door (literally), whom she had known since age eight, and never really socialized with anyone at work.
Neither she nor her husband really knows how to interact with anyone they haven’t known all their lives, especially those of different cultural backgrounds.
But one of the most beautiful and personally enriching things you can do is to cultivate connections with people from all walks of life.
For example, you can join a group near you that does a craft or pursuit that you enjoy, or you might like to volunteer with your faith group or community center.
Read to children at the library, or visit seniors at retirement homes. Go to social functions and chat with people who don’t look like you, or whose English is beautifully accented from the place where they grew up.
Listen to their stories, learn something you didn’t know, and hopefully forge some wonderful new relationships in the process.
7. Journal about your life, like you’re creating an autobiography.
You don’t have to be terribly formal with this (it’s not as though it’ll be published and read by thousands of people worldwide).
Instead, focus on all the things that are important or otherwise meaningful to you. Write about the things that bring you joy and inspire you, as well as things you can’t stand.
Basically, you’re creating a record of who you have been up until this point, and who you would like to become. You can use prompts to help you if you’re not sure how to get started.
Life doesn’t end when you hit your middle years. In fact, countless people say that the second half of their life is when they really came into their peace and their personal power.
They develop a greater understanding of themselves, how they feel, and what they think. Journaling and self-reflection can expedite this process exponentially.
So get yourself a beautiful journal, and write down everything that makes you who you are.
You can read it whenever you like, and can even share it with your children or grandchildren if you want to, so they can learn more about the version of you that isn’t filtered through their own perspective of who they think you are.
8. Do things for others.
Midlife has its ups and downs, but a lot of people get seriously depressed about all the changes it brings — especially if they’re dealing with chronic illness, pain or other health conditions, or experience other things that limit them from doing the things they used to love.
This is where volunteer work or similar acts of service can be beneficial. Few things can jolt a person out of a self-involved reverie like doing things in service to others.
When you’re helping someone who’s in need of assistance, not only does it make you feel like you still have great value in this world, but you also get to witness firsthand how much good your efforts can achieve.
Final thoughts…
The phrase “time is a thief” becomes a rather profound one when a person reaches their 40s or 50s.
There’s less sand in the hourglass than there was when we were younger, and we don’t want to waste a single grain of it by plodding along with anything less than full conscious awareness of everything we do.
The practices here can help you seize and fill as many hours as possible with wonderful, meaningful experiences that expand and build upon your joy. You can use them to spend your time as wisely and joyfully as possible, instead of simply spending it.
