People work through difficulties in a variety of different ways. Their chosen method will depend on their own preferences and aversions, and on where they draw strength and comfort from.
Some turn to friends and family when they’re emotionally exhausted because they’re replenished by their loved ones’ energy, and others turn to solitude to refill their emotional wells.
Those who fall into the latter category tend to do many of the following things to restore themselves, though the approaches they take may vary depending on the individual. If you’re a solitude lover who needs a recharge, you might find them beneficial too.
9 small things that solitude lovers often turn to for reinvigoration:
1. Doing a “tiny tidy.”
Living with other people can often result in a chaotic home atmosphere, especially if the people in question are untidy sorts.
As such, if you’re working full time, it’s not uncommon to discover that the house hasn’t just fallen into disarray — it has collapsed into complete chaos. And as the exterior often reflects the interior, having all that clutter and mess around can add to emotional overwhelm and exhaustion.
Unfortunately, it’s damn near impossible to clear that up when others are orbiting you, talking at you, and demanding your attention.
This is where an individual who thrives in solitude sends everyone else away (or at least into a different room) and basks in their alone time. While they’re alone, they engage in something called a “tiny tidy.”
Since the sheer amount of cleaning that’s needed may be overwhelming, choosing one small area to set in order can make them feel more in control. They might put on some music they like, make a cup of tea, and organize that space alone, on their own terms, thereby replacing their harried state with an immense sense of calm.
2. Turning their phone to “do not disturb.”
For many individuals, other people’s unceasing demands of their time and energy can completely exhaust them.
This is particularly true for extremely capable people who are depended upon by those around them for everything from work-related issues to personal crises. They’re always the ones who are messaged a thousand times a day with questions that others could work out for themselves if they only tried, or phoned at 3 a.m. when someone’s having a breakdown.
To heal from the soul-shattering emotional exhaustion that comes with this, these individuals will often turn their phone to “do not disturb” for extended periods of time, only allowing emergency contacts access.
They recognize that their much-needed alone time is worn away bit by bit via all the little questions, requests, and tiny demands on their time that nibble at them throughout the day.
As such, making themselves digitally unavailable allows them to draw their energy back inward, to heal themselves in sweet solitude.
3. Spending time in water.
According to biologists and psychotherapists alike, being in (or even near) water does wonders for replenishing a person’s emotional state. This is because it activates an inner state known as “Blue Mind”: a term coined by Dr. Wallace J. Nichols.
Many people find water helps them enter a gentle meditative state when they’re immersed in or sitting near a body of water. Doing so makes them feel calmer, more peaceful, and happier in general.
As such, people who turn to solitude to heal from emotional exhaustion have been harnessing the power of water to reinvigorate themselves since time immemorial, and many sacred texts extol the virtues of immersing oneself in water.
I’ll often spend hours alone in water, either soaking in a bath or swimming in the river nearby to replenish myself when I’m feeling depleted.
4. Doing a hobby or pursuit that they love.
A hobby like this is usually something that’s the complete opposite of what’s burning them out. For example, a person who’s feeling drained and exhausted because they have to sit at a desk for nine hours a day may reinvigorate themselves with a hike in the woods.
Personally, I decompress and restore my energy by knitting alone by the fire, avoiding all screens, while my partner restores his emotional energy reserves by going for a long walk or chopping firewood.
Doing a comforting hobby, especially one that involves repetitive motion, alleviates tension, clears the mind, and restores the soul.
5. Sitting in blissful silence.
It’s only in solitude that one can be completely still and bask in the comfort of silence.
When there are others around, even beloved animal companions, there are always intrusive sounds going on, and these can cause us to brace in anticipation of being interrupted by a sneeze or sudden burst of activity instead of being able to unclench effectively.
For some people, being able to relax in silence has the same effect on their psyches as rapid-charging a phone. Without the constant nibbling intrusions and demands on them, all their energy can be shifted towards healing their emotional exhaustion.
Where a person does this solitary replenishment will depend on what’s available to them: one person may put on soundproof headphones and tuck themselves into the quietest corner of the house, whilst another may take themselves to the most secluded spot in nature they can find.
Of course, eliminating all sound is going to be pretty challenging, but they’ll get as close to it as they possibly can.
6. Lying on the ground (preferably outside).
This process, known as “grounding” or “earthing,” is done by a lot of solitude-loving people because of the beneficial effect it has on their emotional state.
When you’re stressed out or emotionally exhausted, your body is constantly in fight-or-flight mode. By lying down on the ground, you send signals to your brain that you’re safe, and there’s no immediate threat that you need to run away from. For many people, this creates a full body-mind reset, even if you’re just lying on your living room floor.
Some research has suggested that lying on the ground outside could be particularly beneficial, if it’s accessible to you, because the planet’s surface naturally carries a negative electrical charge.
Researchers propose that when you lie directly on the ground, your body absorbs free electrons from the earth, and these neutralize the positively charged free radicals that are caused by inflammation and chronic stress.
While this mechanism is still being explored and debated, many of the reasons people find grounding helpful are well established.
Stepping away from demands, slowing down, spending time in nature, getting fresh air and sunlight, and permitting yourself to simply rest can all have a calming effect on an overworked mind and nervous system.
7. Having a good cry.
Many people dislike crying in front of other people. Some consider it to be a loss of personal control, while others feel embarrassed about how other people may judge their appearance or behavior as they’re sobbing their hearts out.
As such, when these individuals are fortunate enough to have some much-needed alone time, they may take that opportunity to have a good, hard cry. This acts as a pressure valve, releasing built-up stress and other emotions.
While not everyone feels immediately better afterwards, many find that it helps them process emotions that have been building up for some time.
8. Writing.
Writing things out by hand can help to alleviate emotional exhaustion because it allows the writer to physically release all the troubles that are weighing down their minds.
But this can only really be done properly when you are alone, without constant interruption, so solitude is absolutely vital for processing old traumas as well as current worries.
What a person writes will depend on what’s most important to them. Some may write their thoughts and feelings into a journal to release them, while others may transform their ideas and experiences into fiction stories.
One woman I know makes extensive lists as a means of catharsis: things she’d like to experience, places she dreams of visiting, holiday meals she wants to prepare, and so on.
This allows her to organize her thoughts creatively without feeling any pressure to create something cohesive.
9. Getting away for a while.
For people who need solitude to heal from emotional exhaustion, not having the ability to withdraw into solitude can be deeply damaging.
It’s akin to having a deep, aching thirst and never being allowed to have a drink of water. As a result, they often need to get away from everyone and everything so they can be alone for a little while.
Where they go will depend entirely on the individual, their responsibilities, and the resources at their disposal.
Some are more comfortable renting an Airbnb close to home, while others may buy plane tickets to locations that are at least a few hundred miles away from anything that drains their light. Others still may simply choose to spend a few uninterrupted hours in a nearby park, library, coffee shop, or any other place they find calming where nobody is expecting anything from them.
It’s amazing how quickly emotional energy can be replenished when one’s energy is entirely focused on taking care of themselves instead of attending to everyone else’s needs and wants.
Final thoughts…
Those who need alone time for their healing are often condemned by others for isolating themselves. This is often because people who feel greatly replenished and soothed by having a lot of friends or family members around them tend to think that there’s something “wrong” with individuals who find solace in solitude.
But there’s no one right way to reinvigorate oneself after depletion: what works for you is ultimately all that matters. And if you need solitude to make your healing happen, be sure to prioritize it on a regular basis.
