You have a sneaking suspicion that your boyfriend has lost interest in you.
You’re worried that he’s no longer interested in keeping your relationship going or moving forwards with you.
And if you are still committed to the relationship, that’s a horrible suspicion to have.
But it’s still early days and you’re unsure whether your suspicions are in fact true, or whether you’re just misreading the signs.
There’s never a sure-fire way of knowing whether or not your partner’s interest in you is dwindling, but there are some signs that might help you figure it out.
Establishing whether this is the case at an early stage could help you to address the problems between you, or to call it a day sooner rather than later, so the heartache isn’t as long and drawn out.
Emotional as this topic is, it’s important to try to approach it from a point of view that’s as objective as possible. If you can help it, don’t let your emotions or complexes cloud your judgement here.
If a few of these signs ring alarm bells in your head, it might be time to consider how you feel about the relationship, and then have a serious talk with him about what the future might hold for the two of you.
1. He doesn’t engage with what you have to say.
When you talk, it’s fairly plain to see that he’s not interested in what you have to say anymore.
He no longer hangs on your every word and doesn’t ask you questions about what’s going on in your life.
He’s always on his phone, or you can just tell that his mind is anywhere but in the room with you.
2. He doesn’t spend as much time with you.
He’s stopped making the effort to spend time with you.
Whereas in the past, he’d always find the time to spend with you, no matter how many balls he was juggling, he now always has an excuse not to see you.
The time you spend together might have dwindled slowly but surely, but you’ve definitely noticed a change.
3. You’re not a priority.
Work comes before you. His friends come before you. His family comes before you.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing at the beginning of a relationship and balance is always important.
BUT, if things are going to get serious, then at some point you have to become a priority for one another.
If it’s becoming clear that that’s not going to happen, then it’s probably all the indication you need that this isn’t the relationship for you.
4. He’s not responsive.
He takes a long time to reply to your texts, and he’s definitely not just playing hard to get.
He doesn’t respond to you like he once did and isn’t particularly enthusiastic when he does.
5. He doesn’t seem excited to see you.
When you do see each other, you don’t notice his eyes lighting up, and he doesn’t give you that smile you used to get from him.
He seems just as pleased to see you as he would any friend of his, or even less so.
6. Or hear your voice.
You don’t get an enthusiastic greeting when you speak on the phone. For that matter, if you don’t see each other, he probably isn’t keen on speaking on the phone at all.
He isn’t keen to hear about what you’ve been up to, how your day went, or how you’re feeling.
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7. He does the bare minimum.
He does the bare minimum he needs to do to keep things ticking over between you. He isn’t willing to ever go the extra mile to see you or spend time with you.
8. There’s no romance.
Romance isn’t a feature of the relationship between you.
He might just not be the romantic type in general, but if he started off bringing you flowers, holding your hand, and lighting candles when you went round to his place, and now that’s a thing of the past, then that’s not a great sign.
9. It’s all very one sided.
You increasingly feel like you’re the only one putting an effort into this relationship, and that if you were to stop bothering to get in touch with him or make plans, it would all just fizzle out.
10. He gets easily annoyed.
It’s starting to feel like everything you do or say annoys him. He seems to get annoyed over irrational things.
Or maybe he only gets annoyed when you suggest making plans with his friends or family, or talk about the future, or he feels like he’s under any kind of pressure.
Whilst it’s all fun and games he’s sweetness and light, but if anything gets remotely serious, he’ll start getting annoyed with you.
11. He’s always finding reasons to pick fights.
He’s always got something to complain about. You always seem to have done something wrong.
He finds excuses to argue with you over really trivial things, and you’re finding it more than a bit confusing.
12. He doesn’t want to move forwards.
There are all kinds of reasons not to rush things and let a relationship take its natural course. You shouldn’t jump into a serious relationship before you’re both ready for one.
But if it’s been a while and you feel like things should naturally be starting to progress by now, that might be a sign of fading interest.
If he’s reluctant to put a label on things, introduce you to his friends or family, make future plans together, or do anything that would suggest the two of you are moving forwards in your relationship, it could be a sign of a lot of things, but it might be his interest faltering.
13. He doesn’t support you.
You don’t feel like he’s interested in anything you do, or dream about, or achieve.
You don’t feel like you have his support in your professional or personal life.
You don’t feel like you could turn to him if you were in a bind and needed help.
14. There’s not as much sex, or sex is all there is.
This can go one of two ways. Either you had a great sex life with him beforehand and now he seems to have lost interest…
…or he suddenly only seems to be interested in having sex. He only contacts you when he wants to get physical and you never seem to spend time together that doesn’t involve sex.
A good way of figuring out whether this is the case is to suggest plans during the day that couldn’t include a sexual element and see what his reaction is to them.
15. He doesn’t make plans for the future.
You don’t dare mention making future plans with him, and he’s never said anything about the future to you either.
He might talk about something you could do next week or month, but he definitely doesn’t talk about something that’ll happen in six months’ time, or next year.
16. You just know deep down.
Let’s face it, when something’s going wrong in a relationship you just know.
In the pit of your stomach, you know he’s losing interest. And rather than hiding away from that uncomfortable truth, it’s time to accept it.
If you’ve found yourself in this situation, it’s time for a chat. It might be awkward, but it’s important to be honest with yourself and with him, and make sure you both put your cards on the table.
You deserve the world, so never settle for anything less than someone who loves being with you, lights up when they see you, and is prepared to make you a priority.