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35 Little Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You

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The breakup was nasty, and you cried your eyes out, but your ex seems to be doing just fine.

Are they already over you, or are they faking it?

Seeing your ex move on quickly can be hurtful, especially if you still haven’t.

However, there’s a possibility that your ex is just pretending to be over you while they still miss you or haven’t moved on completely.

So how can you know which it is? Has your ex really gotten over you that quickly? Or are they just acting like they have?

If your ex is pretending to be over you, you’ll notice many of these signs:

1. They seem too happy. 

Your ex might seem too over you. They’re happier than ever, and they flaunt how over you they are. Maybe they even tell you that they’ve moved on and that they feel great after the breakup.

If they’re trying to prove to you that they’re happy, they’re probably hiding the real truth. 

They could be bragging about their new relationship and emphasizing how happy their new partner makes them feel.

If they got into this relationship soon after the breakup, odds are it’s just a rebound relationship. They are trying to make it seem like so much more to convince you that they’re happy without you.

2. They show off on social media. 

If your ex is constantly posting inspirational quotes and memes on social media about how great they’re doing, they might be doing it on purpose.

They might want to show off their newfound happiness in the hope that you’ll see it and realize what you’re missing out on.

On the other hand, they could be in denial and trying to convince the whole world that they’re doing fine.

They could also post pictures with their new partner with a description that says how happy they are. They might try to make you jealous by posting pics with random hot people at parties as well.

They may be showing off their luxurious and happy lifestyle post-breakup just to pretend that they’re over you.

3. They stalk you on social media.

An ex who is your number one fan on social media and who uses it to keep tabs on you is definitely pretending to be over you.

If your ex likes all your posts or watches all your stories, they’re still obsessed with you. They want to know what you’re doing, and they’re especially interested in knowing whether there’s someone new in your life.

They might mention things that you posted when you talk to them, which shows they’re stealthily stalking you on social media…and that they’re pretending to be over you while they still think about you.

4. They find excuses to contact you or see you.

One day, your ex returns your old pair of worn, useless gloves. The next, they ask for your help moving furniture around their apartment. Another time they bring you coffee to work to thank you.

You get the point.

They find every possible excuse to contact and/or see you.

Maybe they join you at your yoga classes or suddenly need your advice on buying a new phone.

Whatever it is, finding an excuse to get in touch with you or meet you is one of the signs your ex still loves you.

5. They “accidentally” run into you.

Your ex just happens to be shopping in your neighborhood, attending your dance lessons, or visiting a friend near your office.

Somehow you constantly bump into them wherever you go. 

They’re in your favorite coffee shop in the morning, at the restaurant you regularly go to on your lunch break, and in the bar that you hang out at after work.

Odds are this is not an accident. Your ex purposely creates opportunities to bump into you by hanging around the places where they know they’ll see you.

6. They talk about you to your mutual friends.

If your ex is not over you, rest assured that they will ask around about you, even if they don’t reach out to you directly.

They will want to know what you’ve been doing, and especially whether you have been seeing anyone new since the breakup. They will ask your mutual friends about it and maybe even send you a message through them. 

They could also start hanging out with your mutual friends more often in the hopes of seeing you.

7. They befriend your friends.

Your ex might not stop at your mutual friends. They could suddenly befriend your friends as well.

They’ll probably do this to be close to you and keep up with what’s been going on in your life. They may even ask your friends for help in getting you back if they’re still in love with you. 

Your ex suddenly becoming besties with your friends is a sign that they’re not really over you.

This is especially true if they didn’t put much effort into befriending your friends before but now they attend every party you’re invited to.

8. They constantly talk about you and send you messages.

Whether it’s through your mutual friends, your best friends, your family, or their friends, your ex will send you messages.

They will constantly talk about you to people that know you and use them as messengers. 

So, for instance, people may start asking you why you don’t call your ex and check up on them or they may mention that you were a great couple.

If your ex wants to win you back, they’ll certainly make an effort to find allies that will help them get to you.

9. They are jealous. 

An ex who hasn’t fully moved on will get jealous of new attractive people in your life.

If you happen to be in a new relationship already, your ex probably hates your new partner. They will make snide remarks about them and maybe even try to sabotage your relationship. 

Your ex might be jealous of other people in your life to whom you give attention. They probably fear that you will find someone better than them and aren’t ready to move on yet.

10. They try to sabotage you.

If your ex is particularly jealous, they might try to sabotage your new relationship. Maybe you’re not yet dating anyone, but your ex will try to sabotage your relationship with a potential romantic interest. 

If your ex is vengeful, they might try to sabotage you in other ways as well. For instance, they might spread rumors about you, make you lose a promotion opportunity at work, or try to turn your friends against you.

While this doesn’t mean that your ex wants you back, it does means that they’re not over you, even if they’re pretending to be just fine.

11. They try to make you jealous.

Your ex will want to get your attention if they’re not over you.

If they’re dating someone, they’ll flaunt their new relationship in front of your face. They’ll post pictures with attractive people on social media and even publicly announce that they’re seeing someone new. 

They could also try to make you jealous by pretending that their life is great after the breakup. They’ll post pictures of exotic vacations and awesome parties, just to get you to think that they’re having an awesome time without you.

Granted, it might be true that your ex is doing all those awesome things, but if it seems like they’re showing off, there’s probably more to it than what meets the eye.

12. They drunk dial or text you. 

Who here hasn’t been found guilty of drunk dialing their ex at late hours in the hopes of hooking up again? We’ve all done it.

An ex who drunk dials has not moved on from the relationship or breakup—FACT!

Even if they’re doing just fine without you, if they’re just a few glasses of alcohol away from calling to say they love you or texting that they want you back, then they haven’t moved on yet.

Maybe they only do this when they drink, but it still shows that they’re thinking about getting back together.

13. They keep tabs on you. 

Maybe your ex keeps track of where you go, who you hang out with, and what you do.

They could be asking about you, spending time at places where they know they’ll find you, and stalking your social media.

Hey, they might even be literally stalking you.

If your ex still keeps tabs on you and your whereabouts, they’re not over you. They might not go to the extent of stalking you, but if they know where you are and what you’ve been doing, they still care.

14. They’re not dating anyone new.

Even if your ex seems to be doing fine after the breakup, if they’re not dating anyone new yet, they probably need more time until they’ve fully healed.

This is not one of the signs your ex wants you back. However, it does show they haven’t moved on.

They might even still love you, but don’t assume that they want to get back together. Your ex probably just needs more time to heal from the breakup before they can start dating again. They don’t want to get into a rebound relationship.

15. They’re in a rebound relationship. 

On the flip side, what if your ex is dating someone new soon after the breakup?

If it’s really soon and they practically jumped into this new relationship without thinking about it, it is just a rebound relationship.

They’re using their new partner to get over you, and their new relationship is doomed to end quickly. 

Some people use rebound relationships to help them move on from a bad breakup. Maybe your ex really has moved on and fallen in love with someone new.

However, if this happened soon after the breakup, it’s probably just a rebound fling to help them get over you, unless they were cheating on you with their new partner.

If they are hiding their new relationship from you, this might be why.

16. Their new partner hates you. 

Even if your ex is serious about their new partner, that person probably hates you to the core.

They probably know that your ex still cares about you, and they’re jealous. Granted, if this person has a valid reason to hate you, or you really hurt their ex, this could be a natural response. 

However, when their new partner hates you for no apparent reason, that reason is jealousy. They probably heard a lot about you, and they don’t like that their partner is still hung up on you. 

17. Their new partner looks like you.

This is a bit weird, but it happens surprisingly often. When your ex hasn’t moved on yet, they find someone who looks like you to replace you.

If their new partner looks shockingly familiar, and even your friends have noticed the resemblance, your ex is searching for you in their new partner. 

Naturally, some people simply have a type. However, when your ex moves on, they’ll want to move on to someone different than you, not your doppelganger.

Their type shouldn’t be your exact replica, unless they’re still mad about you of course.

18. They bring up the past. 

Does your ex like to reminisce about the good times that you’ve shared while you were happy together?

If they frequently bring up the past, it’s probably because they haven’t yet managed to let go of it. 

They might mention some of your fond memories or tell an anecdote from the times you’ve shared together. Maybe they’ll even call you when something reminds them of your past relationship and the positive memories that come with it.

If your ex is often nostalgic, they might hope to relive the past and try working on a future together again.

19. They offer to help you. 

When you need help, your ex comes to your rescue. They want to be the one to save you when you need saving.

Maybe they offer to help with your chores while you’re sick, they walk the dog for you, move your furniture, fix your computer, give you advice, or bring you chicken soup. 

If your ex is ready and willing to go the extra mile for you and help you out, they probably still have feelings for you. They do you favors so that they can be around you more and get you to like them again.

20. They want to talk about your relationship and the reasons you broke up.

If your ex is not over you and wants you back, they will want to talk about your relationship and the reasons you broke up.

Maybe they can’t stop digging through the past and searching for what went wrong between you. They will want to talk to you about it in the hopes of finding a way to overcome the problems that drew you apart. 

Your ex might even mention that things will be different this time or try to prove that you won’t be facing the same problems if you get back together.

Basically, if they want to know what went wrong, they probably want to know how to make it right again.

21. They still hold on to your stuff and/or haven’t taken their belongings back.

When people break up, they usually return each other’s belongings. If your ex is trying to avoid this step of the breakup, they probably still secretly hope that you’ll get back together.

If they haven’t returned your stuff, or asked for their things back, they might be clinging on to hope that it won’t have to come to that. 

However, they could also use returning things or getting things back as an excuse to see you.

For instance, they may “accidentally” find your things one at a time. In reality, they are using these items as an excuse to get together with you.

22. They hold on to mementos.

Your picture together, the gift you gave them, the souvenir you got when you traveled together, the napkin from the restaurant where you went on your first date… If your ex still holds on to mementos like these, they’re probably not over you. 

When you want to forget an ex, you get rid of everything that reminds you of them. So, if your ex hesitates to do this, they probably aren’t ready to let you go.

If their bedroom looks exactly the same as when you left and is still full of your memories, they’re probably hoping that you’ll return to that room again. 

23. They send long, emotional messages.

Checking up on your ex might be a bad idea, but what if they check up on you?

What kind of messages do they send? If they send long, thoughtful, emotional messages, they probably haven’t moved on yet. 

They always respond positively, they open up to you about their feelings, and they talk to you about their problems.

Maybe they even confess that they miss you in one of these long messages. This means that they haven’t moved on yet and that they might want to get back together.

24. They’re partying all the time. 

Don’t be surprised if your ex suddenly turns into a party animal after the breakup. It’s their way of coping. They are overcompensating after being in a committed relationship.

They might even be drinking to forget about you, even though they post pictures from parties where it looks like they’re having an awesome time.

Maybe your ex really does have a great time partying, but if they’re suddenly a party animal, they haven’t moved on yet. Moving on is peaceful, not a wild, loud party.

Don’t assume that your ex has moved on just because it seems like they’re having a blast. You don’t know what happens after the party when reality hits them.

25. They blocked you. 

Blocking your ex can help a person cope with a breakup, but it can also hint that they haven’t moved on.

If your ex blocked you on social media, it just shows that they find it hard to be reminded of you and struggle not to get in touch with you.

If you have made your ex angry, they likely blocked you because they don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore. However, it still shows that they’re not over you. They don’t want you back, but they haven’t yet processed the emotions that the breakup caused.

26. They changed their appearance. 

Your ex might be trying to reinvent themselves and start fresh. They are investing a lot of time in self-improvement, and they have changed their appearance.

Maybe they just got a new hairstyle or lost some weight. Whatever it is, a change in appearance is a sign that they’re trying to move on. 

They probably don’t want to get back together if they’ve changed their appearance, but it’s certainly something that they’re doing because they haven’t moved on yet.

They’re trying to get over you by changing things about themselves, such as the color of their hair or the style of their clothes.

27. They are suddenly interested in your life.

Your ex suddenly wants to know everything that’s going on with you. They are suddenly interested in your hobbies, passions, and interests.

Maybe they even suggest trying some of those things together. For instance, if they know that you like bowling, they might invite you to go bowling with them. 

They might try to be your friend or show particular interest in your love life. Let’s face it, if your ex frequently calls you to chat about your day, it’s a bit odd…unless it’s their attempt to get back together with you.

28. They’re still angry.

Maybe your ex is still very angry. It’s unlikely that they want to get back together, but it does mean that they haven’t moved on yet. If your ex is holding a grudge, they clearly have trouble letting go of the past.

Even if they pretend that they’re over you, if they still try to cause fights or annoy you, they haven’t moved on yet.

They might even act as if it’s their purpose to make your life a living hell. When an ex behaves this way, they are having serious trouble dealing with the breakup.

29. They act as if nothing happened.

Surprisingly, your ex might act as if nothing happened. They could behave as if you’re still together. So they’ll frequently ask to see you and engage in small talk.

Even if you had a huge fight and a nasty breakup, they may pretend that nothing happened and just keep on hanging around. 

Obviously, they know the breakup happened, but if they act like it didn’t, they’re in deep denial. They might be trying to get back together by ignoring the breakup.

30. They try to be your friend.

Maybe your ex started acting like you’re best buddies. They are taking the whole “let’s stay friends” thing to an extreme.

This is a slippery slope. You and your ex need distance after the breakup if you want to move on.

Sometimes exes do stay friends after a breakup, but only once they’ve moved on. There are just too many mixed feelings for you to truly be friends soon after a breakup.

31. They want to know all about your love life.

If your ex is showing a lot of interest in your love life, it’s likely that they are only pretending to be over you.

Maybe they ask you if you’ve met anyone or have started dating again. They may also try to get this information from mutual friends or other people you both know.

They may not want to get back together, but they don’t want you to move on either. 

32. They joke about getting back together and missing you.

People sometimes tell the truth by framing it as a joke. If your ex frequently jokes about missing you and getting back together, it’s likely not a joke. Take these kinds of jokes seriously because they often reveal honest emotions. 

Even if your ex is trying to be sarcastic, they likely aren’t over you if they’re joking about it. Having a sense of humor is great, but people often use it as a defense mechanism that reveals their hidden desires.

33. They longingly stare at you. 

Do you see longing when you look into their eyes? It sounds like a cliché, but it could be true! If your ex longingly stares at you and gives you the puppy dog look, they probably aren’t ready to let you go. 

A lot can be learned from a simple look, and they say that the eyes are the window to the soul. If your ex’s eyes are saying that they still want you, it could be true.

34. They reach out to you out of the blue. 

What if you and your ex haven’t talked since the breakup, and then they reach out to you out of the blue?

Maybe they want to tell you that they miss you or they want their stuff back. Either way, they’re still in the process of moving on and haven’t healed completely. 

Maybe your ex frequently reaches out to you out of the blue with a lame excuse. This is a clear sign that they’re just pretending to be over you when they still cling to the hope of hooking up again.

35. They’re constantly around you.

In the end, maybe you and your ex haven’t yet parted ways, at least not literally. Your ex is constantly around you, whether you agree to spend time with them or you bump into them “by accident.” 

As already mentioned, you need some distance to move on after a breakup. If you’re still spending all of your free time together, you won’t be able to heal.

About The Author

Ana Vakos enjoys writing about love and all the problems that come with it. Everyone has experiences with love, and everyone needs dating advice, so giving these topics more attention and spreading the word means a lot to her.