“You’ll never find anyone better than me.”
If your ex ever told you this, they were lying to make you stay with them, and there’s nothing more to it than that.
You will find someone, not just as good as your ex but better than them, and there are plenty of facts that support this theory.
Here are some of them:
28 Reasons Why You’ll Find Someone Better Than Your Ex
Get expert help to walk you through the process of healing from a breakup and guidance for finding someone better. You may want to speak to someone via RelationshipHero.com for practical advice that is tailored to your exact circumstances.
1. You will heal.
You’re hurting now, but with time, you will heal from the breakup. How long it takes to get over a breakup is a personal thing based on lots of factors, but once that happens, you will probably realize that it was for the best and that you and your ex don’t belong together.
Now that they’re out of the picture, you have the possibility to meet the right person, without your ex blocking your view. Know that you will heal with time, and then everything will look a bit differently than it does now.
2. Your feelings for them will change.
You can’t just stop loving someone all of a sudden, but with time, your feelings will start to fade away and gradually disappear. At first, your love for your ex might turn into hate or resentment, but you will get to the point where you’re indifferent.
Once your feelings for them are not clouding your judgment anymore, you are likely to realize that you can most definitely find someone better than them. When you love someone, they’re the best person in the world. However, when you have no more feelings for them, they’re just a stranger who once hurt you deeply. You won’t want to look back on that, and you will meet a lot of potential dates that are significantly better than your ex.
3. You’ll see them differently.
You’ll soon start to see your ex differently. Once you take off your rose-tinted glasses, you’ll inevitably get over them. You’ll notice all the things that weren’t that great, and you might even wonder what you loved about them in the first place. You’re not going to see your soulmate; you’ll see a person who could have been The One but turned out to be entirely wrong for you. And you’ll know that you can do better than that.
4. Your memories aren’t always true.
Your mind plays tricks on you when you look back on your past. You do not remember events the way they happened; you’re remembering your last memory of those events. While you were in a relationship, you were trying to create happy memories and these might make you think that your ex is the best.
However, if you look back on these moments honestly, you may realize things weren’t that great in reality. In fact, maybe your ex was acting like a jerk even though you’ve been picturing them as your soulmate. Remind yourself of everything that was wrong with your relationship, and know that it’s not going to be like that in your new one.
5. They aren’t as great as you think.
Since it’s safe to assume that you loved your ex, it’s also safe to assume that their beauty was mostly in your eyes, not in who they really are. Your ex is probably not as great as you think, and if you need proof, just remind yourself of their negative qualities.
Maybe you made excuses for their bad behavior and looked the other way because you cared too much and felt compelled to forgive them. Now that you don’t need to do these things anymore, are they really that awesome?
6. You broke up.
Just the fact that you broke up already means that you’ll find someone as good as your ex, or, more likely, better than your ex. People break up for a reason, and that reason rarely goes away. You broke up because you couldn’t be together anymore, and if you had forced it and stayed together, that reason would keep damaging you and your relationship.
You probably had a lot of problems, and you shouldn’t assume that it will all be smooth sailing with someone else. However, you are likely to find someone better and have fewer problems than you had in the past because you have a better idea of what to look for in a person.
7. They’re not going to change.
Don’t stay hung up on your ex just because you’re hoping that they’ll eventually change. Even if you see some signs your ex wants you back, they’re not going to change, and if you don’t love them for who they are now, you don’t really love them at all.
Look for someone who is already the person you’ve been dreaming of, not someone that you have to dream about changing so that they can eventually and potentially be The One. Someone already is the person you’re looking for, and you can find them.
8. You’re not a good match.
Clearly, you and your ex aren’t a good match, and, with online dating, finding good matches is easier than ever. Everyone is dating online these days, so create a great dating profile and learn more about how to get quality matches. You might end up on a date so good that it proves that you can do better than your ex. And you definitely can—there’s a match for everyone!
9. Your ideal partner is out there.
The perfect person for you exists, and they’re out there somewhere. They’re not going to knock on your door, so you’re going to have to meet several people before finding the one that you recognize as an ideal date. Be prepared that you might not find the perfect person right away.
You’ll still find a person better than your ex, or at least as good as your ex, so don’t worry about that. Just keep in mind who your ideal partner is, write it down, and look for someone who checks most of the boxes, if not all of them.
10. You’ll find a good match.
You might not find the perfect match right away, but you’ll find a good match soon enough. You’ll soon realize that you can do better than your ex, it will just take time to weed out the bad candidates.
Be prepared that some people really are worse than your ex, and you will probably meet them too. However, with patience and determination, you will find a good match that will prove that there are much better partners for you than your ex.
11. You will love again.
Maybe you loved your ex insanely and insatiably. But you will love again. It might be hard to believe right now, but you will be able to love the same, if not even more. Love doesn’t happen only once in a lifetime, and you’re probably depressed and hurting, so you’re not thinking clearly.
Yes, you will be able to give your heart to someone again, and it is likely to be someone who will treat it with much more care than your ex did.
12. You will learn from your mistakes.
The biggest reason why you’re likely to find someone better than your ex is because you’ll learn from your mistakes. You’re not going to look for someone like your ex, and you’ll know to recognize the red flags that you weren’t aware of before. Realize that it’s a good thing that you’re not going to find someone like your ex because you will set higher standards and chase after someone better than them.
13. You will not repeat toxic patterns.
You’ll also learn to set healthy boundaries and avoid repetitive relationship patterns that are toxic and have been preventing you from finding the love you want. Maybe you always fall for someone who is bad for you, and now’s your opportunity to stop doing that. Seek healthy relationships with quality partners and, if you’re struggling with that, talk to a therapist and let them help.
14. You will learn to be you again.
After the breakup, you will have some time to be alone to gather your thoughts. You were so enmeshed with your partner that you may have even lost yourself in that relationship. Now, you’ll have the chance to learn to be you again, whether it’s the old you before you met your ex or a new, better version. Then you’ll inevitably attract a great person!
15. You’re getting a fresh start.
With a new person, you’re getting a fresh start. However, relationships are often doomed from the get-go because the way you act in the beginning often determines your future as a couple.
Now you have a chance to set the terms and boundaries right away; you can even dictate the dynamic of the relationship from the beginning. You’re also getting a clean slate and an opportunity to be whichever version of you it is that you like.
16. You’ll be looking for someone better for you.
After learning the lessons from your previous relationship, you will go about dating with purpose, looking for someone better for you. You will be clear on your must-haves and dealbreakers, and you’ll be less willing to risk things by settling for someone who is far from your ideal partner. As long as you have patience and persist in your efforts to find what you’re looking for, you will find it.
17. You’ll set higher standards.
When you know what you want and what you don’t want, you set higher standards. You have a list of traits that your ideal partner must have in order to date you, as well as some dealbreakers. Of course, you shouldn’t blindly stick to your description of an ideal mate. However, once you’ve outlined what you’re looking for, you’ll have higher standards that will lead you to a well-suited partner in the future.
18. You’re not going to settle for less.
Maybe you’ve settled before, and now you recognize that it was a big mistake. Have you made the realization that being alone is better than being with someone who is not right for you? These acknowledgments will lead you to a better partner since you are unwilling to settle. Again, they don’t have to be perfect, but you should have standards and stick to them to find someone better than your ex.
19. You don’t need someone like your ex.
Would you even want someone like your ex again? Be careful, because time might change your answer entirely if you’re still thinking that you want your ex back. If it didn’t work out the first time, why would it be any different the next time around?
Don’t let your feelings cloud your judgment. Give it time, and you’ll realize that you don’t need someone like your ex. You will find someone better. After all, someone who sticks around till the end will clearly be better than the person who broke up with you.
20. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Are you aware of how many single people are out there looking to date? Just check some of the dating apps or sites available for finding matches. While you were in a relationship, you probably didn’t notice any potential partners/single people of your preferred gender.
As soon as you start noticing them again, you’ll also see that many of them are better than your ex. You will come across some that are worse than your ex, some that are comparable, and some that will blow your ex out of the water. So take your time and choose wisely.
21. You deserve better.
Your ex probably didn’t treat you right, and that’s one of the reasons why they’re your ex now. You deserve better than what they had to offer you and you should be treated with care and respect. Maybe you are already better than your ex, so you deserve someone like you. Everyone deserves to find the right match and to be treated properly, and you will have that.
22. Someone will love you for who you are.
It’s okay if you don’t want to change. Someone will love you for who you are anyway. Do you love yourself right now though? Work on yourself until you’re the person you want to be, and don’t settle for less. Someone will love you for who you are no matter what. However, by being the best you possible, you’re increasing your chances of finding someone who has worked on being the best version of themselves as well.
23. Not all men/women are the same.
Don’t generalize by believing that all men are the same or all women are the same. That makes no sense. Every individual is a universe of their own, and you will come to realize that as you start meeting and dating new people. Sure, there are some toxic patterns that get repeated, but not all men or women are the same. Every one of them is unique. When you find the one that you see as special, that’s the one you should keep around.
24. Your partner should treat you with love and respect.
Odds are your ex didn’t treat you right. A good partner should be loving and respectful. So, even if your ex was good enough for you before, they’re not anymore. If they can’t treat you with the kindness that you deserve, don’t keep torturing yourself with what could have been. Think about what will be—a new relationship that brings you joy and fulfilment.
25. There are better options out there.
It’s difficult to say that someone is better than someone else since we’re all human and worthy of love and care. However, it can’t be denied that there are different qualities of people and potential dates.
Your best bet is to look for someone who shares the same values and beliefs as you. They don’t have to be perfect in every way, they just need to be right for you.
And if you are currently brokenhearted, know that two halves don’t make a heart whole.
If you want better-quality partners, work on yourself. While there is someone who is currently just as broken as you are, there is also someone who’s shooting for the stars—you can keep up with them and meet them there.
26. People grow when they want to.
While you were stuck in a dead-end relationship, your next partner might have been spending their time working on self-improvement and going for gold. People grow when they want to, and you can also develop instead of letting this experience stop you from making progress. When you find someone that you can grow with, you will nurture your relationship as well, and it will have a much higher chance of succeeding.
27. You are older and wiser.
You’ve spent some time with your ex, whether it’s months or years. So, you’ve gotten older and wiser. You will make better choices, and you’ll know how to recognize the red and green flags early on. Maybe you weren’t ready for someone better before, but now you can be. Just take your time and learn to be okay with being alone until you find the person you’re looking for, not just any person that comes along.
28. You get to choose your future and your mate.
Choosing your partner is the same as choosing your future, especially if you’re choosing a partner for life. So, don’t give up on your ideal partner just because it takes time to track them down. You will have to invest your resources (energy, effort, time, love, money, emotions…) into a relationship with someone, so make sure that it’s the right person.
Rest assured that there are many potential partners who would be better than your ex; you just need to do your part to get to them. So take it slow and easy, have your goals in mind, and make wise choices.
Still not sure whether you’ll find someone better than your ex? You probably have a lot of thoughts and worries swirling around your head, which is why talking to someone is so important.
Speak to an experienced relationship expert about it. Why? Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours. They can guide you on your journey of healing from your breakup and provide practical advice to help you find someone better suited to you.
Relationship Hero is a website where you can connect with a relationship counselor via phone, video, or instant message.
You’re hurting right now and worried about your future. Overcome these things sooner by reaching out to someone for help. It’s not only okay, it’s recommended.
Here’s that link again if you’d like to learn more about the service Relationship Hero provide and the process of getting started.