Most of us hold onto toxic relationships far longer than we should, for any number of reasons. Sometimes we stick around because we’re hopeful that things will get better, while other times we keep tolerating poor behavior towards us because we feel that we deserve it on some level.
Whatever the contributing factors are, the effect that this has on us is to erode self-esteem, health, and even sanity over time. When you stop tolerating these toxic connections, however, your life improves in major ways that’ll surprise you and make you wish you had cut them off much sooner. Here are just some of the benefits.
1. Your health is likely to improve.
This is one of the most significant ways that your life will improve by severing toxic bonds, and it also happens much more quickly than expected. If you’ve ever been soaked to the skin by a downpour, then you know how much better you feel once you’ve peeled off those soaking wet, heavy clothes and wrapped yourself in warm towels and blankets.
This is exactly what happens to your overall health when you stop tolerating toxic behavior, since we know that toxic relationships affect both physical and mental health. First, you’ll likely discover that it’s easier for you to sleep because you can actually relax properly without constant tension. Furthermore, you’ll have a surplus amount of energy that was previously being burned up by that unhealthy relationship. In a short amount of time, you should see your skin, hair, and weight improve, and chronic health issues that have been plaguing you for years may get significantly better.
2. You will have a better ability to focus.
According to Science of Mind, once you’re no longer dealing with toxic BS, you should notice an immediate improvement in your mood, outlook, and mental health. As such, you’ll likely have an astonishing amount of clarity, which you can then direct towards things that are more meaningful and relevant to you. Be it work, play, or learning new skills that you’ve always wanted to pick up, you’ll find that it’s much easier to focus.
Basically, now that you’ve said goodbye to the person/people who was/were actively sabotaging your efforts, your attention isn’t divided or derailed with constant drama and stress anymore. This is something I’ve experienced personally. I was a voracious reader all my life, but when I was stuck in a stressful situation, surrounded by toxic people, I found that I was unable to concentrate enough to be able to read. It was only once I moved to a healthier environment that I was able to focus properly again and could rediscover my love of reading.
3. It’s easier to be creative.
Artistic and creative people usually find it much easier to tap into their gifts when things are calmer, rather than rife with drama and stress. In fact, studies show that stress is one of the greatest enemies of creativity. As such, toxic connections may quite literally be poisoning your ability to make art, music, or any other type of creative endeavor you previously enjoyed.
Once you have rid yourself of whoever it is that’s bringing the chaos into your life, you’ll undoubtedly notice that your creativity will reestablish itself as well. It might take a while for you to be inspired to make something, or you may simply wake up one day with a fully formed song or painting in mind that’s clamoring to be released into the world.
4. You’re less likely to get blindsided by a crisis (especially an avoidable one).
When you’re forced to deal with unnecessary, toxic crap on a regular basis, it’s far more likely that something serious will happen that will catch you off guard. YouTube and TikTok are full of videos of people ending up in car crashes or having seriously scary near misses because they were arguing with each other instead of paying attention to their surroundings.
A major upside to not having these people in your life anymore is that you’re much more likely to see the trouble before it rolls right over you. Possibly quite literally. Awareness of what’s going on around you, as well as insight as to potential issues that may unfold, can only improve when you’re not on high alert 24/7.
5. It’ll be much easier to be your authentic self.
We all know deep down that we’re stronger when we’re relaxed, being true to ourselves, and not feeling cramped by those who are trying to drag us down. Toxic attachments often make us feel that we have to play along with others’ wants in order to survive. This lack of authenticity will wear away at a person’s soul over time, until they finally gain the strength of will to cut that cord.
Without another’s harmful, oppressive presence, it’s so much easier to do what you want to do, play the music you like, eat the food you enjoy, and express yourself authentically instead of submitting to a petty tyrant’s demands of you. There is a power in this, and often others with bad intentions will target all these things to try and lessen you. You don’t need to fight them, only let them go.
6. You can finally connect with people who are on your wavelength.
If you’ve been dealing with toxic, damaging connections for a long time, you’ve likely had to be performative as a means of survival. Once you’ve severed those connections, you’re free to cultivate new relationships with people you actually want to be close to, rather than feeling obligated to socialize with.
Once you’ve spent a significant amount of time by yourself, after getting rid of the unwanted dross and drama that you’ve been dealing with for years (or decades), you can start cultivating relationships with people who are much more aligned with you and your purpose. You can find community with those who share your interests and values, and forge sincere, caring friendships and romantic relationships (if desired) with those who truly “get” you, rather than wanting you as a doll that they can manipulate to their whims.
7. You’ll experience real peace.
People who live in survival mode for protracted periods of time learn to function on a deficit. The anxiety, stress, and lessened capacity end up feeling “normal” to them, and they generally forget that life doesn’t actually have to feel that way. As a result, when they stop tolerating toxic relationships and make changes to eliminate them from their lives, it’s as though they’ve wandered into a different timeline.
If a toxic environment has been your “normal” for a long period of time, you’ll undoubtedly experience a profound sense of peace once you’re out of it. This may be disorienting at the beginning, since you’re so accustomed to constantly managing chaos. But once you realize that you can ease off on the hypervigilance and breathe without bracing yourself, you’ll recognize just how much peace you can enjoy.
Final thoughts…
Life will change a great deal when you eliminate the toxic connections in your life, and if the formative conditioning you experienced in the past led you to be accustomed to toxicity, you may be tempted to seek it out. After all, it’s what you’re comfortable with and know how to handle. The peace and contentment that comes from extricating yourself from awful situations can take some getting used to, but it’s better to allow yourself to heal and recalibrate than throw yourself back into the fire for the sake of familiarity.
