The world can be a difficult, painful place to navigate at times. It’s even more difficult when a person faces consistent adversity due to prejudice, physical limitations, illness, caregiving obligations, poverty, or countless other hardships that affect their lives on a daily basis.
Yet despite all the suffering, many people remain optimistic, cheerful, and kind by doing things differently from those who are ground down by their life circumstances. The positive, optimistic actions and behaviors listed below can help shift one’s mindset from simply surviving to thriving, even through seemingly unrelenting hardships and setbacks.
1. They focus on the good things going on.
If you’re anything like me, you might find it incredibly difficult to remain optimistic when everything seems to be falling apart. It often feels like there’s always something awful simmering on a back burner, whether it’s a climate-related nightmare or a terrible conflict in another country. For me, the best way to maintain optimism instead of dissolving into a puddle of goo is to bring my attention back to all the good things that are going on.
Instead of wallowing in the horror show of world news, I follow Good News Network so I can focus on amazing things that people are doing worldwide. Then, I try to follow their lead to do some good in turn. Every little bit helps and causes ripple effects that inspire others to do wonderful things, too.
2. They practice gratitude.
According to research, making daily lists of all the things you’re grateful for can have an extraordinarily positive effect on your overall well-being. Although you might be dealing with adversity from all sides, ranging from health challenges to relationship or financial woes, bringing your focus back to the positive can reignite your strength and will to carry on.
If you aren’t big on journaling, consider using something like the Finch app or similar to help you become more appreciative. These little self-care apps can encourage you to focus on the good things going on in your world, with prompts that get you to think about what you’re grateful for, who cares about you, what your body was able to help you experience that day, and so on.
3. They tend to living things.
Some people pour a ton of time and energy into their pets, while others might cultivate plants indoors or in an outdoor garden space. One can’t help but feel little shivers of delight and optimism when watching life unfurl and blossom, and the extraordinary amount of joy that these little lives return to us is so worth the effort of tending to them.
Animal companions in particular can have a marked effect on a person’s well-being, according to Psychology Today. They give people a sense of purpose, their gentle, unconditional love helps to increase serotonin while alleviating stress, and many people find the will to keep on going despite consistent adversity because the animals they love need them.
4. They create little milestones and rewards to look forward to.
Quite often, finding something special to look forward to can make an enormous difference when it comes to remaining optimistic. A person who’s being relentlessly bullied at school may look forward to gaming on the weekend, while someone who’s going through chemo may have regular scheduled ice cream and movie nights with their partner to keep them motivated.
These little moments of joy and solace are like lighthouses in the storm. When everything around you seems to be awful, there’s this shining beacon in the distance that’s encouraging you to keep moving forward. The closer you get to it, the brighter it all becomes.
5. They shift their perspective from “I have to” to “I get to.”
This is a mindset shift that helps many people who live with chronic conditions or are full-time carers for disabled family members. It’s incredibly frustrating to experience existence with conditions that prevent “normal” activities, or to feel that you’re stuck in a Groundhog Day existence of obligation and emotional depletion. As such, it’s easy to feel resentment about these circumstances and all the things we “have to” do. But Dr. Katie Takayasu advises that a simple mindset shift has a huge impact on how we cope with situations in our lives.
For example, I have neurological and memory issues and have often felt frustrated that I “have to” write notes about basic tasks so I don’t forget them. What’s been helpful is shifting the narrative to appreciation for the amazing things my body allows me to do. Similarly, those who are drained from caregiving often focus on the fact that they “get to” spend a bit more time with their loved one, even though it can be difficult at times.
6. They become the change they want to see.
Many people who have faced prejudice due to race, religion, facial differences, or any other number of issues that others see fit to hate them for, remain positive by being the type of person who can help to change others’ minds.
One great example of this type of behavior is Jono Lancaster: a man from the UK who has Treacher Collins Syndrome — a genetic disorder that affects facial development. He has dealt with a great deal of prejudice and cruelty over the years, and chose to become a role model and activist for others who have experienced the same thing. Not only has he inspired countless others to be more confident in their own skins, but he has helped to change the minds of those who have ostracized others simply for being different.
7. They cultivate a great sense of humor.
When adversity seems to be integral to everyday life, maintaining a good sense of humor and trying to see the bright (and often ridiculous) side of things can help to keep your spirits up. In Pema Chödrön’s book When Things Fall Apart, she has something great to say about acknowledging adversity without being overcome by it:
“Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look.”
It’s immensely cathartic to really look at our circumstances, have a good laugh about how ludicrous it all is, and then use that positivity as impetus to keep moving forward through it.
8. They have a supportive social net.
Far too many folks suffer more than they need to because they either don’t want to accept help or feel ashamed to accept it from others. But there is no shame in admitting that you need help, and just about all of us leap at the chance to help others when they’re struggling.
By leaning on supportive social nets, people don’t feel that the entire burden is on their own shoulders. Some get respite from caregiving from friends, family, or government-funded healthcare workers. Others can get help with home cleaning, childcare, meal preparation, or rides to appointments. Community is incredibly important for mutual aid, and optimistic people participate in fair exchanges to the best of their ability.
9. They learn from history.
When things feel particularly dire, many optimistic people will focus on how much progress we’ve made over the years. Although there’s been a whole lot of suffering on this planet for thousands of years, things have improved exponentially over the past few centuries with regard to human and environmental rights, healthcare, justice, etc.
Psychology shows us that good news just doesn’t sell, so the media always focuses on the awful things happening around us. But in reality, we’ve experienced many “wins” in recent history, which can help us remain optimistic that things will keep on getting better from here.
If we all do our best to make the world a better place, our grandkids might live in a Roddenberry-esque utopia and be spared the hardships that we have endured.
10. They take up pursuits that give them a sense of purpose.
Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and holocaust survivor, once said that those who have a “why” to live for can bear with almost any “how”. As such, people who remain optimistic despite constant adversity tend to pour a great deal of energy into pursuits that give them purpose.
Having a reason to not just survive, but thrive, has been a massive motivator for countless people over the centuries. The key is to find something that fits into a Venn diagram of what you’re passionate about, what brings you joy, what you look forward to doing, and that will make a difference in the world.
Final thoughts…
Sometimes, when things feel truly terrible, it’s difficult to maintain optimism that things will ever get better. Here’s when it’s important to remember that the wheel of life is always turning.
The worst experiences we go through all come to an end, and although things can seem quite dire sometimes, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. The key is not to give up until we reach that light. In the immortal words of Lord Tennyson: “To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”
