“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” – John Lennon.
Every day life is happening, yet we make our plans and throw our happiness into the future. I’ll start improving right this coming Monday! I just want to take a weekend to myself first! I’ll be happy when I lose this weight! Or get this job! Or take this trip! Everything seems bright because the future is so full of hope!
Why wait to feel good? Why not do some of these things that everyday people do, to get the most out of life each and every day?
1. They prioritize the right relationships.
Mental health experts tell us that it’s no secret that healthy relationships provide numerous mental and physical health benefits. Just being around people you love and care about, who love and care about you back, can reduce your stress and anxiety levels.
We all need some alone time, but for most people, life is best shared with others. Humans are social animals, and your brain rewards you with endorphins when you socialize. Of course, everyone is different, with different social and emotional needs.
Some folks need a lot of socialization, others don’t. Regardless of how much socializing you’re getting, the quality of the connection matters most. Unhealthy relationships will tear you to pieces, leaving scars that can take years to resolve.
2. They set boundaries and make space for themselves.
Boundaries can be a struggle if you haven’t had good examples of them in your past relationships. We start forming boundaries as young as one year old when we start forming a sense of self. As Psychology Today informs us, the people who are born into unhealthy family dynamics are at a disadvantage because those boundaries are what allow intimacy.
But how do boundaries promote intimacy? Doesn’t a boundary keep things out? Well, yes, but you have to be vulnerable to connect with someone, and to be vulnerable, you need to know that the other person can be trusted with the more sensitive parts of yourself. To do that, you want to be reasonably sure the other person can handle those sensitive parts with tenderness and care, so they don’t do damage. And consistently respecting your boundaries is how they prove that to you.
Your boundaries are an instruction manual for other people to know how to interact with you. What you allow is how people will treat you. Even in healthy relationships, boundaries matter because two individual people are going to clash at times. Boundaries keep things healthy and respectful.
3. They practice gratitude daily.
Gratitude is the fertilizer in which peace and happiness grow. It primes your mind to look for the positive, for the blessings of the world and life. We tend to see that which we focus on, so if we look for the positive, that’s what we’ll find. But that is exceptionally difficult to do in these times when we’re drowning in terrible news and awful things.
In my own personal journey, I’ve lived with bipolar disorder and severe depression for a long time. A problem I faced is that because I spent so many years undiagnosed, my brain was primed to always see the terrible in everything. Nothing was good. Everything sucked. People were all out to get me. It was all bad, and anyone who claimed otherwise was just a liar.
Can you have happiness when that’s what your brain is telling you in at least 50% of your waking hours? No. But I was so used to looking for the awful that it was all I could find. Gratitude caused me to focus on the opposite. By making gratitude a daily habit, I was replacing a lot of those old habits and harm that had been caused because of my mental illness and trauma.
4. They take care of their mind and body.
Ask anyone with a chronic health condition what would put more joy in their daily life, and you will probably be told that it is to be well and healthy. You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone, and different problems with the body and mind can rob you of your independence.
The good news is that a lot of diseases are preventable with some proactive effort. Make and keep regular doctor’s appointments for checkups and screenings to keep up with your physical health. Mental health is just as important. Everything hinges on your mental health, including your ability to take care of yourself.
Consistent sleep, exercise, mindfulness, and healthy habits are so important for maintaining your health.
5. They make time for rest.
Joy is as important as responsibility. You need balance; otherwise, you can grind yourself into dust with the unending amount of work that life can throw at you. If you don’t take the time to embrace joy and spontaneity, you may eventually start to find that it’s harder to find. You can become disconnected from your happiness.
If you’re a busy person, the way to handle this is to schedule a block of time for you to do something just for yourself. Maybe it’s an activity, or just taking a day by yourself to vibe and enjoy some quiet time binge-watching a comfort show.
Whatever it is, schedule and treat rest and relaxation as just as important as your other responsibilities, because it is.
6. They live with intention.
To live with intention is to not spend your life coasting in whatever current you find yourself in, good or ill. If you want the most out of life, you need to make an active decision on how you want to spend your precious and limited time on this planet.
The people who get the most out of life have some idea of what direction they want to move in. After all, if you don’t know what you want, then how will you know when you get it? Or how to get it? Set reachable goals that will bring you closer to your bigger dreams. It also makes the difficult work that goes into success much less tedious when you can celebrate some wins along the way.
7. They take time to pause and reflect.
As you move through life, you do need to periodically stop to take a closer look at your goals and efforts. Are you moving toward what you want in life? Are you finding fulfillment in the choices that you’re making where you can? Are you happy with your progress?
Take the time to be still, pause, and reflect. It really doesn’t take much time or effort to have a quick checkup. The real challenge is reminding yourself to do it regularly as you get swept up in the hustle and bustle of life. It’s easy to get stuck in a particular pattern because life just gets busy. The only way you’ll catch that is if you stay aware of what you’re doing, and most importantly, why.
Final thoughts…
Joy and happiness are a journey, with each small step adding to your abundance. Every choice you make to try to embrace joy and happiness just adds to your fulfillment.
We always like to focus on the big thing, the spectacle that is flashy and attractive. Unfortunately, that’s not where fulfillment lives. Fulfillment is found in our daily choices, quietly and calmly filling up your own emotional bucket as you move through life with intention.
