This may surprise a lot of people, but a fulfilling life doesn’t have to be a fully packed, extravagant one. In fact, many people who feel fully content with the time they spent on this earth lived quieter, softer lives that others didn’t understand. These are the people who prioritized simplicity and gentle comforts, and enjoyed happy, fulfilling lives as a result.
If this idea is appealing to you, start putting the following actions into practice. Before you know it, you’ll be living the life of your own dreams, rather than adhering to someone else’s.
1. Pare your life down to the essentials.
Life is a lot quieter and easier when it isn’t cluttered. This goes for the stuff around you as well as obligations. Pare down whatever isn’t absolutely needed, from streaming services you never use to the 20 pairs of shoes you haven’t worn in years. Only keep the things that are most important to you — nothing else.
Remember that pursuits that bring you joy are also essential. If you find yourself daydreaming about doing a craft, vocation, or hobby, that probably means you’ve allowed yourself to relax enough that your soul is able to express its needs to you. Prioritize this pursuit, because it’s a key to your greater fulfillment.
2. Invest time and energy into pursuits that you love.
The pursuits you dedicate time and effort to don’t have to be impressive, nor do they need to be lucrative: they can simply bring you joy. In fact, some hobbies and interests may be considered boring or useless by others, but they make you so happy that they aren’t just worth pursuing — they’re vital for your soul’s growth and fulfillment.
For example, one of my partner’s favorite public figures is a historian named Ruth Goodman, who has made it her life’s work to study social and domestic history. Like her, my partner is fascinated by historical handmade items and techniques ranging from spinning and weaving to cooking over a fire, carving utensils from wood, and so on.
Most people will never understand why she invests so much time into things she could just buy at the store, but they’ll never understand how satisfying and fulfilling it is for her to fill our home with beauty we have created with our own hands.
3. Determine what “enough” looks like to you.
Some people decided long ago that they wouldn’t feel fulfilled until they owned a large house, got married, had two or three kids, a dog, and two holidays per year. Interestingly, if you ask a lot of them if these things really did grant them true satisfaction, most will reply that they would have been just as happy with half as much (and half the stress those other things brought them).
Let go of all the preconceptions of “real” fulfillment that others have tried to sell you over the years. Make a list of the things that are most important to you and that bring you real joy. Do you love peace and quiet? Nature? Music? Art? If you only had a year left to live, how would you spend that year? How you answer these questions will paint the picture of the type of quiet, fulfilled life that your soul is yearning for.
4. Choose low-stress income over maximum income.
While you may have been led to believe that you need to work yourself ragged and earn a six-figure salary to make yourself and your family happy, this couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, much more peace and joy can be found with a low-stress job that earns you enough to live comfortably, if not extravagantly.
Additionally, take stock of all the things you feel that you should have, according to others’ expectations, vs. those you actually want. Furthermore, invest in items that may not be the newest, shiniest thing on the market, but will stand the test of time. This will save you a lot of stress as well as money.
5. Live on the outskirts.
Life in the city is loud and harried compared to suburban or rural life. Both have their benefits, but living on the outskirts of an area is much quieter and more serene than being surrounded by millions of people (and cars) making a deafening, stressful cacophony around you at all times.
When you live on the outskirts, the overall pace of life is slower and gentler. The air is cleaner, people are generally friendlier, and you see a lot more wildlife. You may not be able to order exotic food delivery day and night, but the fulfillment you get from all the peace and quiet is well worth that sacrifice.
6. Create rituals that mean a lot to you.
Many of us find great peace when our daily lives fall into regular rhythms and rituals. These don’t just keep us focused, but give us small joys to look forward to. Some people have an established dinner night with friends or family on weekends, while others attend spiritual services or write in a journal every evening.
In my case, wherever I have lived in the world, I’ve had daily and weekly rituals that I’ve held to. Whenever possible, I have my morning coffee outside, listening to the natural world and spending time with animals. I exercise daily and do a big batch of cooking on the weekend, so there are healthy meal options throughout the week.
The key is to make these rituals consistent and dependable: life can get terribly tumultuous, but these rituals provide both stability and fulfillment that can’t be bought.
7. Aim for quality over quantity.
Have you ever baked your own bread? If you haven’t, I highly recommend that you find a well-rated recipe and try it out as soon as possible. Use high-quality ingredients if you can afford them — preferably sourced as close to home as possible — and don’t rush the process. Kneading the dough is meditative, the scent as it bakes is exquisite, and the flavor of freshly baked bread is incomparable.
Once you’ve had that, you notice just how bland and disappointing most commercial loaves are. It’s the same with just about everything from clothes to household items. If you have the means, it’s far more fulfilling to enjoy something made with quality than to indulge in easily accessible things that everyone else raves about, but are poor quality and completely non-memorable.
Our woolen and linen clothes may not be fashionable by modern standards, but they’re comfortable and sturdy, and last for years — unlike fast fashion that’s made of plastic and disintegrates in months.
8. Keep your social circles small.
If you’re aiming for a quiet life, avoid expending all your energy on a huge social group. You only have so much energy to spare, so avoid feeling like “butter scraped over too much bread” by maintaining a small, close circle of trusted people in your life.
This doesn’t just avoid drama, but creates strong community bonds with people whom you truly care about, rather than those you feel obligated to socialize with. Help each other, take care of one another, and share meals, but ensure that boundaries are respected and nobody is ever taken advantage of.
9. Enjoy the journey, rather than rushing towards a destination.
Try to live as presently as possible, and take your time while engaging in your pursuits rather than feeling that you need to rush through them. This may require you to unlearn some of your previous programming, especially if you’ve spent years in situations where you were barraged by pressing deadlines, train schedules, and so on. You’ve likely sped through things as fast as you could to attain goals instead of enjoying the process.
Now is the time to let go of the end goal and focus on what you’re doing in the moment instead. If you’re chopping wood, take your time to align your axe with the grain for optimal splitting. Are you cooking? Then let the onions caramelize slowly instead of rushing the process and burning them. Keep your attention here and now rather than fixating on the finish line.
Final thoughts…
Some people misinterpret a “quiet” life as a “boring” one, and this couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s not for everyone, of course, but then nothing is. For people who feel constrained by others’ obligations and expectations about following a particular path, or accumulating wealth and status, a quiet life off the beaten path may be the ideal way to find real peace and fulfillment instead. If you find yourself nodding and smiling at this notion, there’s no time like the present to start researching how to attain the quiet life your spirit is yearning for.
