Everywhere we turn, adverts are encouraging us to do everything we can to keep looking young. Magazines admonish people — particularly women — who choose to age gracefully instead of battling age tooth and claw. And ageism is encouraged by depicting older people as feeble-minded, silly, out of touch, and unwanted.
In reality, aging has countless beautiful aspects that the modern cult of youth seems eager to ignore. The truths listed here are among the most wonderful, and they are worth treasuring daily.
1. Accruing a magnificent number of skills.
A younger friend of mine recently expressed to me how much she admires the fact that I seem to know how to do almost everything. Over the past half-century, I’ve accrued skills ranging from bronze casting to making creme brulee from scratch, and everything in between.
The average person will learn hundreds (if not thousands) of skills over the course of a lifetime, and older age offers a wonderful opportunity to put those into practice. I dusted off my drill and jigsaw today to put together some new kitchen shelves with my partner, and I’ll spend the evening baking, sewing, and planning this year’s garden. And best of all, I can teach people in my community everything I know, whenever they ask.
2. Zero F’s given.
When you’ve gone through a significant chunk of your life and weathered more idiots than you can hope to remember, you no longer care what others think or what kind of influence they think they have over you. In fact, you may take it upon yourself to call people out for poor behavior, or even take action if and when you feel that it’s necessary to do so.
You don’t care whether someone thinks you’re a jerk for telling them off for being rude to a cashier, nor do you care about what kind of repercussions may arise from telling the truth about a certain private family matter at cousin so-and-so’s wedding. You aren’t interested in dealing with drama, and nobody can force you to do so. Quite simply, you have better things to do with the time you have left.
3. Being left alone by others.
Many people, particularly young women, suffer from being on the receiving end of far more flirtation and romantic attention than they’d like. For people who were barely able to walk down the street without being catcalled or otherwise harassed, to suddenly be left alone to exist in peace is a transcendental experience.
There was a time when I couldn’t leave the house without being harassed, which resulted in me getting quite agoraphobic for a while. Now that my hair is completely grey and I dress like a self-propelled pile of laundry, few people even give me a second glance.
While the invisibility of age certainly has its downsides, it’s a special kind of bliss to be able to stroll around a city as a practically unnoticed entity, browsing bookshops and reading in cafes without anyone intruding upon my peace.
4. Having the time and (hopefully) money to pursue whatever you like.
Younger people usually have a slew of obligations that prevent them from doing the things they’d truly like to do. For example, work responsibilities may interfere with desired travel plans, especially if they need to be approved for time off several months in advance. Similarly, expenses like childcare and office attire can take huge chunks out of their paycheck.
In contrast, older folks often have much more time and hopefully a bit more disposable income to do what we like. If we have the means, we can book travel at the drop of a hat because we don’t need to ask anyone’s permission to do so. Similarly, since we aren’t responsible for feeding and clothing our offspring anymore, we can put that money towards hobbies and other personal purchases. Best of all, we can nap any time we like because we don’t have any pressing duties to attend to.
5. Coming into your power.
As we get older, we usually develop far more emotional stability than we had in our youth. This is in no small way influenced by the fact that our hormones are no longer rollercoasters that threaten to come off their rails at any given moment. Furthermore, the wide range of things we’ve survived thus far has given us immense resilience, patience, and perspective.
All of these factors come together to create individuals who have a solid understanding of what they want and how to achieve their goals. We’re wiser, more self-assured, calmer, and less reactive — traits that are treasured in community leaders worldwide. Best of all, we have a solid idea of who we are, compared to the tumultuous confusion and experimentation of our youth.
6. Permission to love what you love without explanation or justification.
Many young people seek the approval of their peers and hold themselves back from the things that bring them sincere happiness so they don’t end up mocked or ostracized. They’re expected to look and behave a certain way, and if they pursue interests that other people think are weird or otherwise don’t understand, they risk being tormented for not being cool enough.
When you’re older, you have complete freedom and permission to do what you love. Do you want to have ice cream and waffles for breakfast? Life is short: do it. Have you always wanted to collect vintage stuffed animals, or get a mohawk haircut and dye it lime green? You can do that too. You don’t need to explain your motivations, nor justify your decisions to anyone anymore.
7. Awareness of what true beauty really is.
Audrey Hepburn’s tips for cultivating beauty were as follows: “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”
Our youth-obsessed culture places the highest priority possible on physical, youthful beauty. You can’t go online or open a magazine without tips and tricks for plumping up lips, smoothing away wrinkles, dyeing grey hair, and tightening jawlines. But none of that matters a bit if someone is devoid of compassion, treats others with cruelty and disrespect, and places no value on kindness.
The older you get, the more you realize that what makes a person beautiful is how they behave when nobody is watching, rather than how many people watch them as they pass.
8. Not getting stressed over things you can’t control.
While younger people tend to have great anxiety about all the big things in the world around them that are beyond their influence, older people have often learned how to navigate life’s ups and downs with a remarkable amount of grace.
We know full well that the only things we can control are our own thoughts and reactions to the world around us — not the world itself. As such, there’s no need to stress about them. We have enough life experience to know that we can handle anything and everything that comes our way. There has been a solution to every problem we’ve faced so far, and there will be solutions to the problems we haven’t met yet.
9. Being valued for who you are, rather than others’ perceptions.
Countless people have spent most of their lives feeling ugly and unwanted because the people around them didn’t see them as potential bed partners. When you get older, however, people value you more for who you are, rather than whether you have washboard abs or a perky bosom.
Your personality becomes your cornerstone, and you have the opportunity to connect with others based on mutual values, likes, and pursuits, instead of superficial reasons. This often results in cherished, lasting friendships with good, decent people who make our lives brighter every day.
Final thoughts…
The cult of youth likes to instill the fear of aging into people so they’ll buy expensive skincare and other anti-aging products. It also tries to imply that older people are irrelevant, useless, ignorant, and easily discarded. This view is inextricably linked to the idea that people only have value as long as they can keep grinding and working to fill other people’s pockets.
Once you realize the immense value you have as an individual, and how many opportunities come with being a mature adult in this world, you’ll treasure the aging process rather than being terrified of it.
