It’s so heartbreaking to hear someone talk about things that mean the absolute world to them, only to watch them gaze out a window longingly and lament the fact that they’re “too old” to do it now.
While there are understandable age limits for certain pursuits, the vast majority of things you’re interested in can be done for as long as your heart keeps beating. Here are a few ways to shift your mindset away from thinking that your years are limiting you, towards the view that you’re old and wise enough to pursue your dreams.
1. “I have enough experience to trust in my abilities.”
This is a wonderful phrase that my 72-year-old friend uses on a regular basis. She’s always interested in trying new things, and recently dabbled in Japanese cuisine, ceramics, and Pilates classes.
Any time younger family members caution her that she may be too old to try whatever she’s interested in, she reminds them that at her age, she knows exactly what she is and is not capable of. She reminds them that she hasn’t lost her faculties and to please be so kind as to respect both her choices and her acute self-awareness. She trusts in herself and her abilities, and you should, too.
2. “I finally have enough time to do what I love.”
When we were younger, dozens of different priorities took precedence over the things we really wanted to do. Work, childcare, elder care, house chores, and countless social obligations pushed the things we dreamed of into dusty corners labeled “someday.”
Well, “someday” has become “today”. Now that those responsibilities are no longer hanging over us, we can finally bring those boxes into the light once again. In my case, in my younger years, I set aside the goal of pursuing a degree in anthropology to focus on something more useful and sensible. As such, now that I’m nearing the autumn of my life and I have some time to spend on personal pursuits, I’m looking up online degree programs that will let me do exactly that. Even if I do it part-time and earn my degree when I’m in my 80s, it’ll be worth the journey to get there.
3. “My heart is still young enough to appreciate new adventures.”
Well-meaning family members often take it upon themselves to remind their elders about their advancing years whenever they mention wanting to do something new. They’ll caution them to be careful, to slow down, or even imply that whatever it is they want to do might be too much for their hearts to handle.
Your heart is young enough to appreciate new adventures and experiences. Yes, you may need to build up slowly to a 5km marathon you’d like to walk, but if you’re interested in exploring the souks of Marrakech or taking up wildlife photography, do it. Only you and your healthcare providers know what your heart and mind are truly capable of, so don’t listen to the naysayers.
4. “Everything I have learned grants me the courage to pursue my dreams.”
One great thing about living to a venerable age is the sheer amount of experience and knowledge we have accrued. Most of us know how to do an extraordinary number of different things, and our track record for getting through difficulty is 100 percent so far.
As such, instead of being afraid of pursuing your dreams, you likely have enough courage, resilience, and self-confidence to have full faith in your ability to do so. Even if you don’t attain the goal, you’ll have an amazing time on the journey. It’s like the adage that while it’s wonderful to reach for the moon as a goal, even if you fall short of it, you’ll still land amongst the stars.
5. “I’ve learned enough to know what’s important to me: this.”
As we go through life, we learn some invaluable lessons about what is and isn’t important to us — usually via some rather intense (and occasionally painful) experiences. In fact, some of the most poignant lessons we’ll learn come after spending years on things that depleted us rather than putting our time and energy into the pursuits that actually meant everything to us.
In our elder years, we have full permission to slough off the ill-fitting skins that have been constraining us for decades, and step into our full, authentic selves instead.
Every hardship, misstep, and uncomfortable situation we’ve lived through has been an invaluable learning experience. As such, if you ever find that your inner voice is telling you that you’re “too old” to pursue something, or someone else has the audacity to suggest it, draw upon the breadth of your own experience. You’ve learned a hell of a lot over the course of your life thus far, and should trust yourself to prioritize what’s truly important to you.
6. “It’s never too late to level up.”
As long as we continue to draw breath, we have the opportunity to keep growing and “levelling up” as individuals. It’s never too late to learn something new or engage in something that will help us in our personal development.
Some people who are already masters of their craft discover that they can learn excellent new techniques by learning from those of other cultures. Similarly, some individuals who feel that they’ve attained great spiritual attunement may find new doors of enlightenment open for them when they delve into writings from other faiths. You’re never too old to stop learning and growing, so seize every opportunity that feels right to you.
7. “I am still deserving of love and happiness.”
I have come across far too many people who have given up on the idea of a happy, loving partnership because they think they’re too old to start again with a new partner. Some remain in loveless marriages because their partners have convinced them that nobody else will want them, while others who have been widowed or divorced feel like they’ll never be able to find a connection like the one they had before, so there’s no point in trying.
Most of us don’t feel much different inside at 50, 60, or beyond than we did in our twenties. We may have a few more grey hairs and laugh lines, but we don’t change all that much as we age. That includes the desire to enjoy a wonderful relationship with an amazing partner.
If this is something you’ve been aching for, then why not now? What’s stopping you from putting yourself out there and finding the connection you’re yearning for? Sure, you’ll undoubtedly meet some duds or feel the sting of rejection here and there, but the joy of meeting the new love of your life is well worth the risk.
Final thoughts…
Many of us have been programmed by others to believe that fun, adventure, and aspirations end as soon as our hair turns grey. In reality, many of the people who caution us to slow down and give up on bigger dreams are those who are afraid for their own sake, not ours. They’re afraid of losing us and feel better when we’re wrapped in silks. See if you can find a middle ground that works for all of you, while simultaneously ensuring that joy and inspiration fill each day you’re blessed with.
