Few people are lucky enough to randomly stumble into the kind of life that they want. Most people who have a fulfilling life build it brick by brick. Yet some people are under the mistaken impression that allowing themselves to be blown about by the winds of fate will get them to their destination. They view it as freedom and independence, but it’s not.
Instead, your life is being determined by other people who are pursuing their own goals and desires, because they’re taking action to steer their lives in the direction they want. So how do you take control of your own life and create the life you want?
1. Stop waiting on “someday.”
“Someday, I’ll get around to pursuing what I want out of life!” Why not today? This excuse is often used as a form of avoidance, as though we aren’t capable of taking steps to improve. But you are. As I said, you can build it brick-by-brick. And today, you may be able to set a brick in place.
Do you want a different job? Start looking for vacancies. Do you want to go back to school? Start looking for a program. Big distances are traveled by taking small steps, and there’s no better day than today. You won’t get to your destination if you don’t start traveling.
2. Stop waiting on someone to rescue you.
Is it possible someone is going to swoop in and try to rescue you? Sure, it’s possible. Is it probable? Not really. And even if someone does, they can’t impose a significant change on your life without you doing the actual work. So even if someone does show up to rescue you, are you willing to do the work?
And if the answer is yes, you are willing to do the work, why don’t you just get started now? There’s no reason to wait for someone who may or may not come for you. It’s just a waste of time, and time is the most valuable thing. You can’t buy more time. Period. Once it’s gone, then it’s gone. All you can do is decide how to use the 24 hours in each day that you’re given.
3. Stop waiting for a crisis to motivate you.
There are a number of large problems you can avoid in life by taking care of things when they’re just small nuisances. Far too many people sit around and wait for motivation and inspiration to serve as a catalyst because we’re so wrapped up in recovery fairy tales.
“I had to hit rock bottom before I could improve!” No, you didn’t have to. You chose to. In many cases, the person either knew or suspected there was a problem, but just let it go until it was too late. Then, that smaller, easier-to-manage problem became a much bigger one that does more damage.
And let me tell you something I’ve learned the hard way in my own life and in volunteer work – there’s no such thing as rock bottom. Rock bottom is a convenient storytelling device, but that’s all it is. The truth is that it can always get worse, no matter how bad it seems. Stop waiting for it to get worse, because it more than likely will unless you start taking active steps to do something.
4. Stop waiting for the right mood.
Motivation sinks many goals because it’s just an emotion, and it’s fleeting. That’s why discipline plays such a major role in self-improvement and personal growth. You’re not going to feel like doing the work all the time. Hell, you may not feel like doing the work most of the time, but without the work, where will you be?
You’re not going to make progress; you’re just going to stagnate.
Motivation and inspiration are crutches that people rely on instead of just diving in to do the work. Once you set yourself free from that restraint, it is so much easier to actually get things done.
From personal experience, this is something I run into a lot as a professional writer. I have been asked countless times, “How do you maintain motivation?” The answer is – I don’t. I write. I write even when I don’t feel like it, unless my brain is in such a space where I literally cannot. And if what I write sucks, then I edit. You cannot edit a blank page, after all.
5. Stop waiting for total clarity.
It’s common to overanalyze out of fear. You want to see your destination ahead so you can meaningfully move toward it and know that all of your work will be fruitful. Unfortunately, that doesn’t apply most of the time. The problem is that no matter what kind of research you’re doing or perspective you’re waiting on, you won’t know what challenges you’ll face until you reach them.
The next step in the journey may not be clearly apparent until after you take the previous step. If you’re doing something new, then you really don’t know what to expect and when. So focus on confidence instead. You may not know what comes next, but know that you are capable enough to figure it out.
After all, you’re sitting here reading this article in the hopes of learning something new, right? You can do the exact same thing for other challenges in your personal or professional life.
6. Stop waiting for permission from others.
No one can direct your life like you can. No one is going to care as much about your life as you will. You cannot put the responsibility of your success and happiness into the hands of other people. Many will just take advantage of that and try to influence you to act in ways that benefit them.
Not only that, but other people will evaluate your goals through their own lens. They tell you, “You can’t do that!” but what they’re actually saying is, “I don’t think I can do that, therefore you can’t.” They may even go so far as to sabotage you if they have low self-esteem or maliciousness.
7. Stop living in the past.
Everyone’s done things they regret, some more serious than others. However, life isn’t in the past – it’s in the present and the future. The more time you waste living in the past with regrets or pining for better times, the less you’re going to enjoy your present and future. You only get so many hours in a day, so why waste them on things you can’t change?
Instead, be proactive in the present. Think about what you can accomplish today and in the near future. Think about the kind of future that you want and then reverse engineer your goals from there. What steps do you need to take to arrive at the destination you want to be at?
8. Stop waiting for more confidence.
It’s a Catch-22. Do you know how you build confidence? By demonstrating your competence and ability. Do you know how you demonstrate your competence and ability? By having the confidence to put yourself out there and start doing things. Your confidence is not going to grow while you sit on the sidelines, waiting around for something that may not arrive.
Instead, you build confidence by doing things. When you do things with your own hands, you have tangible proof that you are capable, worthy, and able. That beats wishful thinking any day of the week.
9. Stop waiting for more time.
There’s no such thing as “finding time.” You make time for your priorities. If you truly want something in life, you have to make a plan for it, dedicate the time to it, and pursue it. If you don’t, then how badly do you really want it? Life isn’t going to stop and slow down just because you’re hoping that it will, so that you can pursue something meaningful to you.
If you want it, then you have to make the choice to go after it. Pencil it into your schedule and treat it as important as any other commitment that you’ve made. Treat it with the highest priority. That’s how you get things done.
Final thoughts…
Stop waiting. Time is precious, and you don’t have forever. We like to decry how there are never enough hours in the day, but the truth is that we just waste a lot of time. We spend our time focusing on frivolous things that don’t matter, that won’t bring us any closer to our goals. Because of that, we lose opportunities and the life we could have had. Don’t let that be you. Start today.
