Sure, we all have our off days, but there’s no denying the fact that people who are consistently rude to service workers behave like assholes.
There may be underlying reasons as to why they behave like jerks — after all, we’re products of our environment and upbringing — but there’s no sugar-coating the fact that these people come across as patently obnoxious.
The reality is that people who behave badly towards those who are providing them with services tend to be unpleasant across the board.
As such, they often display the following unsavory behaviors whenever they have the opportunity to do so. If you spot them while you’re grabbing your coffee, be warned.
9 unpleasant behaviors common in people who are rude to service workers:
1. Treating everyone as though they exist for their benefit.
According to psychologists, one key reason that people are consistently rude to service workers is that they tend to see themselves as superior.
As such, this often extends beyond service workers to anyone they perceive as having a lower social status. Basically, they believe other people exist to fulfill their needs and wants.
They see no need to be polite or respectful to those they see as “below” them, so they act as though they own the world and everyone else is a servant. Essentially, they have a startling sense of entitlement.
I’ve seen this behavior in social situations on countless occasions. At one party in particular, a young woman who knew she was attractive — and was dressed in expensive attire — swanned in and simply handed her coat to someone else to take care of.
Then she ordered someone else to pour her a drink. Nobody there was her employee, servant, or social inferior. She simply treated them as though they were.
Here’s a tip people like this should keep in mind: it’s never wise to be rude to a person who’s preparing your food or drink.
2. Controlling and rude behavior towards their family members.
If a person is terribly rude, controlling, demanding, and belittling towards service workers, that behavior gives you a solid idea as to how they’ll behave with anyone they feel that they have leverage over. And that includes their partners and children.
A person who calls a service worker stupid for making a mistake will likely do the same thing to their spouse and/or children. They’re also usually the type who will bark orders and make demands of those close to them rather than asking respectfully.
They don’t feel a need to show courtesy towards these individuals because they honestly see them as lesser beings who don’t deserve it.
3. Littering.
The same type of person who’s rude to service workers will likely throw trash on the ground when they’re outside.
They seek to rid themselves of anything distasteful as quickly as possible, and consider themselves too good to hold onto rubbish until they can find a disposal bin. As such, they’ll simply drop wrappers or empty cups as they walk.
Picking up such things is “someone else’s problem” — not theirs. Someone beneath them, obviously.
Furthermore, they may sincerely believe that this behavior is justified because “it will provide someone else with a job.” You know, one of “those people” (said with great disdain).
4. Not doing their fair share of chores because they think they’re beneath them.
For some reason, individuals like these often believe that they’re somehow too good to do menial chores, like picking up after themselves, washing dishes, cooking, or doing laundry.
According to psychology, this sort of self-centered attitude can sometimes happen if they were raised in opulence and had servants to do such things for them, but it can also be a trait of grandiose narcissism.
Someone who was treated as a slave in their own home when growing up may turn around and treat others the same way in turn, to get their own back.
As you can imagine, this causes great discord with those in their sphere. Housemates aren’t likely to be friendly to someone who doesn’t pull their weight around the flat, and an unequal partnership isn’t going to stand the test of time.
5. Being cruel to those they consider to be lesser.
It’s a sad reality that many people are consistently unkind and rude to service workers because they consider them lesser human beings.
As such, they’ll often behave the same way to other individuals they consider to be inferior or otherwise distasteful to them, which may include the elderly, those with additional needs or disabilities, children, animals, or people of cultures they dislike.
This unkindness may be passive-aggressive, such as ignoring individuals at work or not inviting certain children to their own kid’s birthday party, or they may be overtly rude and disdainful towards them in public.
For example, when I was working at a grocery store in my late teens, I once saw someone refuse to touch a canned item that someone of a different culture had picked up, claiming that the person was likely “dirty” and had somehow tainted said item.
(I told them I’d get one from the back for them, and then handed them the same can they’d refused earlier, just on principle. It was immensely satisfying.)
6. Joining in on bullying behavior.
People who consider others inferior to themselves, such as service workers, are often keen to bully whoever seems to be the butt of a joke at the time.
They love to be in perceived positions of power and prestige, so joining in on bullying behavior generally fills them with delight.
For example, if they’re at a family dinner party and someone is being rude to their spouse (such as if a relative mocks them or brings up an embarrassing topic from years ago), this individual will join in on the “fun” instead of defending their partner.
Furthermore, if their partner tells them how hurt and betrayed they felt by this behavior, the jerk will dismiss them and tell them that they’re too sensitive and can’t take a joke.
7. Complete entitlement to others’ belongings, spaces, etc.
A person who falls into this category is the type who will plop themselves in someone else’s assigned seat on an airplane and insist that they move instead. Or they’ll invite themselves to a group they aren’t involved in and try to justify their presence there.
The main character syndrome that individuals like this display causes them to have no shame about their actions whatsoever.
According to psychology, they honestly believe that the world revolves around their wants, and anyone who impedes them from attaining their desires is simply an obstacle to overpower, rather than an actual human being.
8. Unwillingness to see other people’s perspectives.
Since these people don’t generally see others as equals, they see no point in even listening to other people’s perspectives, let alone seeking to understand them.
Psychology teaches us that they’re usually myopically focused on their own views and see all dissenting opinions as invalid ones. Furthermore, they tend to come up with any rationale to avoid considering someone else’s stance.
They steadfastly refuse to meet anyone in the middle: only their way, their views, their beliefs are valid.
To them, everyone else is just stupid and wrong.
Even if the other person is more educated on the topic than they are, or has years (decades!) of experience in the field, they’ll dismiss anything they have to say if it contradicts their own view.
9. Refusal to even acknowledge those around them.
As we’ve mentioned, the rudeness these people display usually comes from a misplaced sense of superiority.
Because of this, they may simply refuse to acknowledge when anyone else is speaking to them, unless they consider that individual to be of equal or greater status to themselves.
For example, if someone tries to get their attention with a respectful “pardon me” (or similar), they won’t even look in that person’s direction. Oh, they definitely heard them — they just choose not to deign to grant that person their time or attention.
And if pressed to do so, they’ll make a big deal of being terribly put out about the fact that this … creature … inconvenienced them by A – existing, and B – wasting their time and energy.
Of course, this same person will kowtow to someone they perceive to have social status in an attempt to kiss up to them.
Should they discover that they’ve been rude to someone above their own social rank, for example, they’ll start groveling and trying to explain themselves, which often includes blaming someone else for their own behavior.
Final thoughts…
It’s a general rule when dating or getting to know someone new that if the person you’re out with is rude to a service worker, they’ve given you a solid glimpse as to how they’ll treat you in a relationship.
Furthermore, someone who’s unpleasant to others for no good reason isn’t someone you really want in your life. At least not until they’re done some serious working through their issues.
In contrast, someone who treats a janitor or waitress with the same care and respect that they’d show a judge or member of the royal family is worth their weight in emeralds.
Because why wouldn’t you?
