Entitlement seems to be astonishingly common these days, with people behaving as though the world somehow owes them whatever they want. Although we see a lot of this type of behavior online, it’s just as prevalent with in-person interactions. Some people can hide their entitlement behind a facade of benevolence (or even basic decency), but the involuntary behaviors mentioned below are surefire signs of what lurks just below the surface.
1. Rolling their eyes.
Although we see this behavior in teenagers who are mortified by their parents’ lack of coolness, it’s an action that may be exhibited by people of any age. Many psychologists believe that it’s a subconscious sign of contempt, and is something that a lot of people do when they’re inconvenienced by someone else’s needs being fulfilled over their own.
I witnessed something like this recently at the grocery store, in which a middle-aged lady rolled her eyes when a staff member helped an elderly man who was standing nearby. He had been there first and was prioritized for both his place in line and his advanced age, which seemed to annoy her to no end. Apparently, getting that shaved turkey breast was of the utmost importance, and this elderly gentleman delayed her getting what she wanted by a few horrible minutes.
2. Throwing tantrums when they don’t get their way.
A quick way to spot an underlying sense of entitlement is how quickly an adult will have a full-blown tantrum over the slightest issue or inconvenience, according to Psychology Today. Online behavior can be even worse, with people lashing out and posting the most outrageous replies to trifles that certainly didn’t earn such vitriol.
Rather than rationalising disappointment or uncomfortable feelings, they revert to something that has served them well in the past — namely, howling and shrieking to get what they want. These people are often those who got away with whatever they wanted as kids. So if you find yourself in a position in which you’re stuck witnessing such a spectacle, remember that this is why you never give a screaming child a treat: if you do, they quickly learn that they’ll be rewarded for poor behavior just to shut them up.
3. Contempt towards others’ achievements.
If someone else achieves something an entitled person wants or already has, their body language and behavior will imply that they aren’t impressed, or that they’re downright contemptuous of the achievement. This is especially true if it’s something they attained easily or through handouts compared to the other person’s hard work.
For example, someone whose family gave them the startup money for their successful business might snort with disdain at someone who achieved similar success via their own initiatives.
More often than not, it’s a spoiled or privileged person who’s looking down on more menial or physical work with disdain, until they’re challenged to try it themselves. I’ve seen this happen plenty of times, and within about ten minutes, these people have some excuse about why they need to quit, or that they have something else that’s more important to do.
4. They act as if life is massively unfair at the slightest of things.
If someone you know constantly gets agitated about the smallest things, that’s a surefire sign that they’ve never needed to develop any kind of emotional resilience. The exception to this is those who are neurodivergent, such as autistic, ADHD, or both (AuDHD), because their already heightened nervous systems can make situations most people handle with ease, unbearable.
For entitled people, however, this usually happens when someone has had a very comfortable life with few challenging circumstances or traumatic events. They’ve never experienced real danger or hardship, and feel that it’s the world’s responsibility to maintain their baseline comfort level and protect them from unwanted discomfort.
As a result, things that would barely register as annoying or difficult to a person with a fair bit of life experience under their belt will be excruciating for them. If they have to wait a few extra minutes for their latte order, they’ll moan and complain about how bad the customer service is and how awful and selfish other people are for interfering with them getting their demands met.
5. Swiftly judging others with the barest information available.
People who have a limited amount of life experience — but a startling amount of personal bias — often judge others at the drop of a hat. They might take in what the other person is wearing or eating and decide that they know everything about them. Similarly, they may overstep another’s boundaries because they haven’t taken the time to get to know that individual, and then judge them to be an awful person because they stopped them from doing what they wanted.
Behavior like this illustrates how little they’ve seen of the world because they’ve never needed to do anything outside their comfortable echo chamber. They’ve developed perceptions of the world around them based on limited information, and thus believe that the entire world fits within their perceived parameters. Their judgment and biases may be involuntary, but they could choose to improve this behavior if they wanted to.
6. Shrinking away from responsibility or accountability.
We’ve touched upon the fact that those who have had opulent and/or sheltered upbringings end up lacking emotional resilience and coping mechanisms in adulthood. They also tend to lack several basic life skills, from doing their own laundry and cooking to things like house cleaning and repairs.
As such, should they find themselves in a position where they might have to do some manual labor on their own, they’ll do everything in their power to avoid it. They might get offended that someone expects them to lower themselves to do such menial peasantry, or insist that it’s not their job to do so. Similarly, should they break or damage anything, they’ll try to find a way to blame it on someone else to avoid taking responsibility; let someone else be their “whipping boy”, since they’re too elite to be punished.
7. Complaining about minor things, while comparing their distress to that of others.
One of their friends might be expressing how much difficulty they’re dealing with as far as their health goes, and they’ll turn the conversation back to themselves and how much worse it is for them. Their own struggles and complaints are usually less of an issue than what the other person is contending with, but they feel as though it’s the end of the world and want sympathy and comfort about it.
“Oh, I’m so sorry you’re going through cancer treatment. I understand, though: this sprained ankle is keeping me from doing anything — I can’t even walk to the bathroom without pain! At least you get to stay in bed and have people bring you ice cream. I still have to go to work.”
Final thoughts…
It can be difficult at times to discern whether someone truly believes they are more deserving than others based on nothing more than their own inflated sense of self. But the longer you spend with an individual and observe how they treat others, (particularly those in the service industry), the more apparent it will become.
We all have bad days, and we may lash out at others without intending to do so, but if behaviors like these are par for the course for someone, you’ll either have to find ways to deal with their sense of entitlement or, better still, reduce how much time you spend with them.
