Have you met people who have been determinedly optimistic, no matter what’s going on in their lives?
I’ve come across quite a lot of them, and I’ve noticed that all of these individuals have the same specific habits in common, and it’s these habits that make their quiet, steady optimism possible.
Although I haven’t always been able to relate to their perpetually sunny outlook, I’ve certainly admired the fact that they have it, and I’ve tried to adopt it where I can.
8 intentional habits that build a quiet, steady optimism:
1. Optimistic self-analysis.
When you’re going through difficulty, it’s hard to sit in the muck and mire and feel immense gratitude for all the crap you’re experiencing.
But those who seem to exude quiet optimism out of every pour try to seek the lesson or silver lining in just about every experience.
This allows them to take setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth, rather than being bogged down by the negativity associated with them.
They’ll analyze how they got into this situation and why, learn what they can from the experience, and use those lessons to feel optimistic the next time they face something similar.
After all, they now have a toolbox that they can draw from in order to handle it with grace.
2. Self and/or home care rituals.
People who remain steadily optimistic often have lodestar rituals that allow them to ground and center themselves on a daily basis.
For example, one of them might shine their shoes and iron their clothes every night, while another may be fastidious about keeping the kitchen and bathroom meticulous.
These habits are excellent for stress relief, as well as for creating a calm, solid foundation. It’s very “root chakra” building, inasmuch as it gives them a reliable rhythm to return to if they’re feeling ungrounded.
Military institutions and religious sects (i.e., monks and nuns of various faiths) have long recognized the calming influence of rituals like these, as well as the soothing effect that orderly appearance and surroundings can have on people.
Most individuals naturally feel happier and more optimistic when they know they look good, and they aren’t surrounded by chaos.
3. Regular, uniquely tailored exercise.
Scientists worldwide agree that regular exercise does wonders for alleviating anxiety and depression.
Having happy hormones like dopamine and serotonin bouncing around in one’s body can have a positive effect on one’s entire life, and that includes challenging situations.
Exercise is kind of like a pressure valve. When a person has stressful, pent-up emotions, they’ll be more likely to process difficult experiences through a negative lens. As such, releasing those emotions and the excess energy that comes with them is essential.
When a person feels strong and has released energy, stress, and tension through their preferred method of physical movement, they’re better equipped to handle potentially difficult circumstances that may unfold in their lives.
Maybe that’s a swim or a hike, doing some mindful movements, or lifting some heavy things for a while. Whatever unique activity fits the individual and their life, it allows them to come back to their difficulty recharged, with a more neutral or optimistic attitude.
4. Protecting their peace.
Most of the people I’ve met who radiate quiet optimism have zero time for other people’s drama.
They don’t get drawn into arguments or issues that don’t involve them, nor do they suffer through uncomfortable situations that they don’t want to partake in.
They learned to say “no” a long time ago, and have no qualms about excusing themselves from things they aren’t interested in attending.
Quite simply, in order to protect their own peace, they’ve removed themselves from manic situations that may try to steal their light — and that includes their living environments.
In fact, unless they have partners who also inspire peace and optimism, they tend to live alone, or with some quiet, undemanding animal companions instead.
5. “What if” musings that are intentionally positive rather than negative.
Instead of worrying about worst-case scenarios, they proactively muse about the fun or pleasant things that they might experience instead.
Quite simply, rather than tumbling down rabbit holes about all the things that could possibly go wrong, they’ll turn it around and ask something like: “What if something really good happens?” or similar.
When people are afraid of failing — or of something else potentially bad happening — they’re more likely to either self-sabotage or be fixated on the potential loss instead of what’s actually going on.
It’s like someone who’s terrified of dropping a ball that’s tossed to them because they don’t want to look like a loser, be mocked, or fail at something so simple. They’re more likely to drop the ball because they’re lost in their self-defeating thoughts.
In contrast, if they focus on simply having fun with their friends instead, they’ll be far less likely to fail. And even if they do drop it, they can have a laugh about it rather than feeling mortified.
6. Taking action so they don’t wallow in negativity.
There are a lot of terrible things going on in the world. Nobody is denying that, nor are steadily optimistic people ignoring these issues because they’re too unpleasant to deal with.
Instead, they recognize how erosive it is to focus on all the awful things that they’re incapable of changing, and they put their time and energy towards those they can improve with real action.
They may not be able to fix the entire world, but they can make a difference in their small corner of it. Furthermore, they make a point of taking time away from daily pressures and sources of discontent so they can replenish their souls.
Essentially, they do fun or productive activities that aren’t laden with grief. This galvanizes them so they can continue to move forward with strength and positivity.
7. Finding a spiritual practice that brings a measure of hope and peace.
Many people find great peace and solace in calming meditative practices.
For example, Buddhists may partake in different types of meditation, depending on the path they follow, i.e., Zen, Tibetan, etc. Catholics may pray the rosary daily, Sikhs and Hindus might recite mantras, and others may simply bask in the natural wonder of the world.
Regular practices such as these are ideal for alleviating stress and reassuring them that they can handle whatever is unfolding, and will learn and grow from it in the process.
8. They remain present in the moment rather than in existential crisis
The present moment is a powerful place to be. We have no way of changing the things that happened yesterday, nor do we have any idea of what might unfold tomorrow.
All we ever have is this moment, right now, and that’s where those quiet, steadily optimistic people choose to dwell.
It’s easier to remain optimistic when you recognize that the present moment is a peaceful one.
The Stoics knew that there’s no point in being anxious about things we have no control over, and many other spiritual and philosophical schools encourage people to remain in the present moment as much as possible.
Learning to do so, without judgment, can allow a person to feel immense peace and give them the strength and resilience to deal with whatever unfolds with grace and gentle humor.
Final thoughts…
When you come across a person who’s determinedly optimistic, despite whatever difficulty is unfolding around them, you can be almost certain that they’ve been through their fair share of troubles.
Through those difficulties, they’ve learned many — if not all — of the habits that we’ve mentioned here.
And whatever your situation, gently putting some of these habits into regular practice can help you remain quietly optimistic and calm, no matter what life chooses to throw in your way.
