There’s a lot going on in the world right now. As a result, many people who had been living fairly comfortably up until this point are now struggling in ways they’d never experienced before, and may not have the coping skills to manage.
If you’re one of them, then keeping your head above water may be the best you’re able to do right now. Here are some things you can do to get through and survive today, and the next day, and the next day after that.
1. Manage your time with the “Four D’s”: Do, Delegate, Delay, Delete.
I’ve been through some extraordinarily rough patches in my life, and when I’ve barely been treading water, I used the “Four D’s” of time management to help me get through. This is an approach that’s often used in work environments, but also works when you’re simply trying to survive.
Do: Only take care of the things that are absolutely necessary for your continued survival today, such as drinking water, eating food, and sleeping. If you’re able to shower and change your clothes, great — but those are secondary to keeping yourself fed, hydrated, and rested. If you still have energy after that, handle tasks that take only a few minutes to complete, like paying a bill online.
Delegate: Although you may be accustomed to carrying an astonishing amount of responsibility yourself, make a point of delegating whatever you can to others so they can carry some of that load. Are there others in the house who can do laundry or walk the dog? Let them handle that. Can your partner handle something stressful that you aren’t able to manage right now? Allow them to do so.
Delay: If a task needs to be done but it isn’t urgent, put it off until such time as you’re capable of handling it. For example, if you still have a few clean clothes to wear or food in the pantry, put off doing laundry or grocery shopping a while longer until you’ve regained a bit more strength.
Delete/Drop: Is there a task or responsibility that’s on your to-do list that isn’t essential? If so, temporarily drop it. This includes social commitments, non-essential house chores, and so on. If it won’t completely destroy your life or the lives of others if you say “no”, then do so.
2. Analyze your stresses so you can reduce as much as possible.
This is where you analyze what is causing the greatest amount of stress in your life, and aim to reduce it however you can. Keep a notepad handy so that every time you feel a wave of stress or overwhelm, you can write down what it was that caused it.
For example, if it feels like you have a never-ending mountain of dishes that exhausts you just looking at them, pare down everything in your kitchen. Keep only one bowl, plate, cup, and set of cutlery for each family member, and pack the rest away. The same goes for cooking utensils, pots, and pans. When you only have a few items to work with, they can be cleaned as they’re used and will never pile up to stress you out. Similarly, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of rent you’re paying, look for a smaller, cheaper apartment that won’t deplete your finances as much.
3. Find some type of movement that works for you.
When you feel like you’re barely treading water, having enough energy to go for a run or do a round of hot yoga may feel impossible. That’s completely understandable. But how about a little walk outside, a few minutes of stretching, or even bed or chair Pilates?
Physical activity releases “feel-good” hormones that can help to alleviate stress and tension. Whenever I’ve felt overwhelmed by extraordinary pressure, stress, or other life challenges, I’ve taken a walk — preferably in the woods or near a body of water. It’s a great way to release difficult emotions, so I’m better equipped to handle whatever comes next.
4. Incorporate a few simple things into your life that bring you joy.
When barely keeping your head above water is the best you’re capable of doing at the moment, having small bits of joy to look forward to can mean the difference between enduring what’s going on and falling into despair.
Don’t make these big events that take loads of planning, or hobbies that require even more labor on your part. Instead, aim for simple pleasures that only require basic time and energy. For example, create a ritual in which you have some chocolate or cake and a cup of tea or coffee when you finish your work day, or a hot bath and an audiobook in the dark to wind down before bed.
5. Reduce as many distractions as possible.
Many of us have our phones handy when we’re working or socializing, and check them regularly throughout the day. Some people work while a TV or radio is playing nearby, or take multiple breaks to socialize with coworkers. But for most people, every time a distraction like this occurs, it doesn’t just stymie productivity: it also derails concentration, causing more stress and anxiety in an attempt to regain focus.
This goes for multitasking as well. While many people are praised for their ability to multitask numerous things at once, doing so divides your time, energy, and concentration and can lead to cognitive overload and dysfunction. Then you’ll feel even more stressed and frustrated because you have memory loss and keep dropping things.
Instead, try focusing wholly on one thing at a time, even if you have to remove yourself from your usual space and go somewhere else briefly in order to do so.
6. Create a system to reduce decision-making stress.
Did you know that the average person makes over 30,000 decisions every day? Most of these are micro-decisions that happen automatically, but each one still requires energy. Add to that the constant drudgery of trying to decide what to wear, what to make for dinner, and so on, and it can all cause a tremendous amount of mental fatigue.
As such, creating a solid system to reduce the stress of decision-making can help exponentially if you already feel like you’re struggling to tread water. For example, you can sit down with your partner to do meal planning for the week, and determine who’s going to prepare what. Make big batches of things like soup or stew so you can freeze half of it, so you can simply defrost and reheat meals on days when you don’t have it in you to cook.
7. Limit additional stressors.
None of us can eliminate all of our life stresses completely, but we can do our best to reduce the superfluous ones that add to the weight we have to carry. For example, if you find that scrolling through your usual social media channels causes you grief or anxiety, then it’s best to take an extended break from it.
Similarly, if you’re in family or friend group chats that are rife with various dramas, mute them and step away from them for a little while. If you’re struggling to keep yourself afloat right now, you can’t stretch yourself even thinner by buoying other people as well.
8. Reach out for (and accept) help.
It’s never easy to admit that you’re struggling, especially to those closest to you. We all try to live in ways that make our loved ones proud, or will allow us to reciprocate the kindnesses they’ve shown us, so it can feel humiliating to let them know that you’re having a hard time and to ask them for help.
The thing is, you’d leap to help those close to you if they told you they were having difficulty, wouldn’t you? Take heart in knowing that those you love feel the exact same way about you. By letting them know you’re having a hard time, they can help you either directly or indirectly. Professionals such as financial advisors, therapists, and healthcare providers are also here to help, so you don’t have to keep struggling alone.
Final thoughts…
One of the most important things to remember right now is that you’re not the only person who’s struggling like this. In fact, most of the people you know are likely experiencing similar challenges — they’re just as hesitant to discuss them as you are.
There’s such tremendous pressure to maintain a stiff upper lip and keep on keeping on that most folks won’t admit their difficulties until they’re overwhelmed by them. By being more open and honest about these struggles, people may be able to help each other with their respective skills, resources, and support.
