Admittedly, I am someone who has a little bit of experience in the ‘overwhelm’ department.
I can be going about my day, and suddenly, I reach that point where too much is happening all at once, and I just malfunction. I’ve even been known to abandon my trolley and pay for my groceries halfway through shopping because I just can’t cope with the noise, lights, or crowds any longer.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about what reminders I can use to help counteract that overwhelm, and they are things that can work for everyone. You might like to pick a few of them, or you may find just one that really soothes you when things are just a little too much.
I hope they help you.
1. One step at a time.
Is the first one the most obvious? It’s probably the one you hear the most from other people when you’re overwhelmed, but I still think it’s pretty underrated.
A step to each of us can look so different, and I think that’s why I love this reminder. It doesn’t matter how small your step is, as long as you’re taking one.
For you, that might mean a bigger or smaller step than I’d take, and that’s fine. As long as we’re both making progress, then we’re both taking control of something that feels bigger than us.
When you’re going at a pace you can cope with, any goal you’re trying to achieve becomes manageable because it gets broken down into smaller chunks that feel just as good to tick off your list as the bigger goal itself.
So if your goal is to get through that job interview, then break it into smaller mini goals, like getting out the front door, travelling there, greeting the receptionist, and so on. And congratulate yourself for every step you take.
If your goal is to simply get to the supermarket, buy your groceries and get out in one piece, then apply the same logic and add each aisle as a small goal reached.
No step or goal is too small to celebrate.
2. Go to bed with the aim to rest, not sleep.
Sleep for so many of us has become a real issue that we’re struggling to iron out. Here is a stat that will, at least, hopefully make you feel less alone: an estimated 32.8 percent of adults don’t get enough sleep – that’s almost a third of the population!
The next time you’re awake, feeling overwhelmed by anxiety or overthinking at 2 am, just know there’s a whole club of us (yes, me included!).
I’ve started to repeat a mantra I made up, “I’m going to bed to rest. Any sleep I get is a bonus.”
Believe it or not, it actually tells my mind to ease off on the pressure of getting those solid 8 hours all the professionals tell us we should be getting. I tell myself, “If you can’t sleep, at least you’re resting, which is brilliant.”
That overwhelm shrinks automatically, and I feel as though I’m in control of my sleep. Generally, it’s improved how I sleep, so I hope that you can use this same reminder to help you, too.
3. Nobody is perfect.
The idea that we’re somehow failures for feeling overwhelmed is one that I think sits and stews within a lot of people.
Thoughts like, “I should be able to cope better,” and “Why can everyone else manage?” are as unhelpful as they are inaccurate.
Essentially, we’re human. Life happens to all of us.
If you’ve got responsibilities, someone you love gets sick, you lose your job, get stuck on a broken-down, hot bus that feels suffocating, whatever it is that has overwhelmed you, just grace yourself with a little kindness.
It can be as simple as reminding yourself, “It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, and it’s no wonder I do with all the stuff I’ve got going on.”
Make friends with the feeling, because the more you resist it or shame it, the bigger it gets.
4. The calm energy of others is a sign that I’m not under threat.
I read about this technique quite a bit when I tap into fear of flying forums and see how other people cope.
One of the most golden pieces of advice I read is that while you – the person who is afraid or overwhelmed – want to get off and sense danger all around you, there are fellow passengers falling asleep to a podcast three rows behind you.
I don’t want you to look at the people around you who’re okay in a way that makes you feel less than. I want you to look at them as a reminder that what’s overwhelming you is not an imminent sign that you’re under any visceral threat.
You can be freaking out over what’s going on, but if you are surrounded by calm, that calm can be an energy you harvest that reminds you, “I’m safe, I’m here, and I will be okay.”
5. You’ve survived everything you’ve been through.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, the last thing the logical part of your brain is going to do is think, “You’ve survived everything you’ve ever been through, and this moment will be no different.”
For that thought to crop up, you really have to do the work to allow that reality to surface.
And you can!
I’ve had probably half a dozen panic attacks in my life, and they can pop up when you least expect them. Over the years, I’ve managed to build the ability to remember all the things I’ve been through, and how I have overcome them all in some way.
It’s the sort of gentle reminder that brings you back to yourself, and what you’re capable of, yet you tend to forget when everything feels so chaotic. So put reminders around your house, in your car, and on your phone if you need to.
“I survived all that, and I can survive this, too.”
Don’t let overwhelm turn into doubt about what you’re capable of. You have the power to decide what’s really true.
6. Life ebbs and flows like the tide.
I’ll hit you with a quote that is widely recognized and used often in this day and age, but with very good reason:
This too shall pass.
I used to cringe hearing it, as it seemed like challenges were being brushed aside with this kind of, “Don’t worry about it, you’ll be okay soon,” attitude.
I got that so wrong.
Life is never going to look and be how you want it to be all of the time, but I think it really helps to view it like the tide.
The rise and fall of your finances, happiness levels, situations you’re dealing with. They make up what life is in general. No person alive is exempt from experiencing ecstatic joy and the worst pain imaginable, potentially in very short spaces of time.
What overwhelms you one day will be your past soon enough. That’s not to say your pain will simply disappear, but rather fade and turn into something you experienced that you overcame.
I’m getting better at embracing the bad stuff, insofar as I don’t attach myself to it. I don’t tend to wallow, but rather accept the tides for what they are: never permanent.
One bad moment in one day doesn’t always make for a bad day. And even if it does, it doesn’t make for a bad lifetime.
7. Your breath is your most valuable asset.
We do it without even thinking every single day and night. But the art of breathing really comes down to how you choose to breathe, and there’s a lot more to it than just inhaling and exhaling.
I like to remind myself that “Everything starts and ends with the breath.” We take our first breath as we’re born, and we breathe our last before our final exit.
It’s the one thing that remains constant through our entire lives, yet we rarely remember to turn to it when we feel overwhelmed.
I’ve started to, and it’s been a game-changer. Whether it’s slow, deep diaphragmatic breaths to calm your nervous system, box-breathing exercises that are proven to relax you, or simply just doing some heavy sighs if attending to your breath distresses you, it all counts.
If you keep the reminder that your breath is your most powerful tool close to you, then those moments you feel overwhelmed have a little less power than they did before, I promise you.
Final thoughts…
You have permission to regain a sense of calm during challenging, overwhelming moments. Of course, you don’t need me to give you that permission; it’s already inside of you.
We forget that when we’re knee-deep in panic, and those reminders we could have to hand seem to disappear and get swallowed by the chaos.
This doesn’t have to be the case. In fact, when it comes to the above reminders, there will hopefully be at least one that everybody can default to when they need to know they’re going to be okay.
Whatever you’re going through, I hope you know that you can find and access the light when you need it.
