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We all know that feeling of just not being able to stop thinking about a guy.
They fill your thoughts all day, every day, from the moment you wake up in the morning to the moment you drift off to sleep.
It can be pretty inconvenient, right?
After all, if you can’t stop thinking about him, it can be tough to keep your head in the game.
It can make you forgetful, and mean you start neglecting your work, friends, and family.
It can mean you’re constantly distracted and disengaged from what you’re trying to do.
But if you’re here, reading this, then you’re probably not sure what it is that’s got him running round in your head all day, and you’re looking for an explanation.
And you probably want to do something to stop yourself thinking about him quite so often, or at all.
Keep scrolling to find out what the reason behind your current obsession with this guy might be, and how to tone it down, or put a stop to it once and for all.
11 reasons why you think about him all the time.
1. You’re in love.
Let’s kick off with this one, because it’s the simplest explanation of them all. Maybe you’re just in love with him.
Maybe things are going well between you and you think, or know, he loves you back. Or maybe, sadly, your love is unrequited. Either way, if he’s stuck in your head, it might be love.
When we first fall in love, our hormones go more than a little bit crazy. You get a hit of dopamine every time you see him, hear from him, or even just remember what he said to you last night.
Being in the first throes of love can be all-consuming and mean you just can’t focus on anything else.
2. You’re infatuated.
Okay, so maybe it’s not quite as serious as love. We don’t have to be in love with a guy to think about him 24/7. It might be more like an infatuation.
Maybe you’re dreaming of him, even though you know things between you could never actually work and you’re not really taking him seriously.
He’s at the center of your thoughts, but you know deep down that there’s no deep connection there.
3. You’re lusting after him.
This might just all be about sex.
Maybe you’ve had sex with him and can’t stop thinking about getting intimate with him again, or maybe you just really fancy him and are constantly trying to imagine what it would be like.
This can happen even if you really don’t like his personality and know there could never be anything between you.
He might really get on your nerves, or you might find him rude, or hate his politics. But there’s something about the way he looks or moves that really does it for you.
4. You’re lusting in general.
It might not be that there’s anything particularly special about this guy that has you lusting after him.
It might be that you’re feeling frisky in general, for all kinds of reasons, and that this guy just happens to be the one who’s caught your eye (or imagination!)
5. You’re engaged in escapism.
Romance is a great distractor. Dreaming of a romantic tryst has been a way for humans to indulge in a bit of escapism since the beginning of time.
So, perhaps the fact that you can’t stop thinking about him hasn’t actually got that much to do with him.
Maybe what’s really going on here is that there’s some stuff you need to deal with in your personal or professional life and you’re trying to avoid facing it head on by filling your mind with thoughts of this guy.
Perhaps you’re just a little bored with the way your life is at the moment, and thoughts of him are the escapism you’re craving.
6. You’re idealizing him.
You might be spending all this time dreaming about a guy that doesn’t actually exist. He might be taking up all your thoughts because you’ve totally idealized him.
Maybe he’s a great guy in real life, but maybe he’s not that much to write home about. Maybe you’ve only met him a couple of times, or just spoken to him once in your local café.
But in your mind, you’ve built him up so much that it now seems like he’s the perfect guy. You don’t really know that much about him, but you’ve convinced yourself that he’s funny, kind, caring, outgoing, would make a great dad…
So, you’re becoming a bit obsessed with an idea of him, but you don’t know how accurate that idea actually is.
7. You’re dreaming about a hypothetical future, not focusing on the now.
The fact that you can’t stop thinking about him might be down to your focus on what the future could look like if things were to work out between you.
You’re dreaming about what life could be like a few years down the line, rather than being realistic about whether things could really work between you right now.
8. You’re confused by the signs he’s giving you.
Maybe your head isn’t full of happy dreams of him and a potential future. Maybe you can’t stop thinking about him because you’re worried about how he’s behaving toward you, or where you really stand.
He’s blowing hot and cold, and you’re spending all your time trying to analyze his comments or read his body language, trying to figure out what’s going on in his head.
9. You’re feeling insecure.
Maybe you’ve been seeing this guy for a little while now, but he’s not giving you the reassurance you need.
Perhaps you feel like you could develop some serious feelings for this guy, but you can’t just relax and go with the flow because you’re not sure how he feels about you.
Or maybe you’re just feeling insecure in general and focusing your thoughts on this guy is a kind of avoidance tactic, so that you don’t have to address your insecurities.
10. You’re weighing up the pros and cons.
This guy might be on your mind all the time because you’re trying to figure out whether he’s really worth it.
You’re not entirely sure how you feel about him, or whether your relationship would work.
You’re spending all your time trying to figure out whether you should give this relationship a chance.
11. He’s made it clear that there’s no future between you.
We humans can be pretty perverse creatures, and we have a terrible habit of wanting exactly what we can’t have.
So it could be that you can’t stop thinking about him now because he’s ended things with you, or it’s become pretty clear that he doesn’t see a future with you.
Maybe you really liked him, or maybe you weren’t really that bothered, but now he’s cut things off, he’s the only thing you can think about.
8 ways to stop thinking about him.
It can’t go on like this. Whatever the situation is between you and this guy, you just can’t spend this much time thinking about him. You’re getting precisely nothing done.
But how can you get him out of your head? It is, essentially, a matter of your own willpower, but here are a few tips to help you think about him less and about other things more.
1. Get it out – talk to someone you trust.
Whatever the reason that your head is full of this guy, it’s always helpful to vocalize it. Speak to someone you trust about what you’re thinking and why.
It’ll help you understand your thoughts better and figure out how you’re really feeling.
And sometimes, by speaking your thoughts aloud, you get them out of your head and your mind becomes a lot quieter.
2. Have an honest talk with him.
This won’t be a good idea in all situations, but if the two of you have been dating for a while and his behavior is making you feel insecure, don’t be scared to be honest with him about that, and let him know you need some reassurance.
If he can’t give that to you, then he’s probably not worth your time.
3. Be strict with your phone usage.
If the two of you are in constant contact, it’s no wonder that you can’t stop thinking about him so much. So, get strict with yourself. Put your phone away when you’re at work.
Develop a morning routine that doesn’t involve turning your phone on straight away to see if he’s messaged you and give yourself some screen-free time before bed.
Taking control of when you’re in contact with him and when you’re not will help you take control of your thoughts too.
4. Keep busy.
Idle hands make for idle minds. If you want to keep him out of your head, then you need to stay busy.
Throw yourself into your work and make plans with your friends and family in the evenings and at weekends.
5. Fill your brain with interesting things.
Chances are you could do with a bit of intellectual stimulation. So, if you want to stop thinking about him, make sure you have other things to occupy your brain.
Read books or listen to podcasts when you’re on your way to work, or listen to an audiobook when you’re out exercising. Sign up for a course, whether in person or online. Start learning a language. Watch documentaries.
Fill your brain with things that genuinely interest you.
6. Remember, he’s not the only fish in the sea.
If the two of you have agreed that you’re exclusive, then this isn’t the way forward.
But if things haven’t gotten that far yet thoughts of him are still getting you down, then a reminder that there are plenty of other men out there could be just what you need.
Just getting a little bit of attention from – or even going on a date with – another guy could give you that confidence boost you need to show you that even if things don’t work out with this guy, it’s not the end of the world.
That should mean you’re able to relax and stop thinking about him quite so much.
7. Don’t get frustrated with yourself.
The mind is a tricky thing, and controlling your thoughts is tough (meditation can be your best friend here).
So, it’s important not to get frustrated with yourself if you don’t manage to banish all thoughts of him as quickly as you’d like.
Don’t fight your thoughts, as they’ll only come back at you 10 times over. Accept them, analyze them briefly, let them move on, and recognize that they don’t define you.
8. Give it time.
I know it can seem like an annoying cliché, but time can work miracles.
So, remember that just because this guy is at the center of your thoughts right now, it won’t last forever.
Still not sure how to stop thinking about this guy? Chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. Simply click here to chat.
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