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Your dating profile is how you present yourself to the thousands of available people of your preferred gender.
Those people are going to decide whether they’re interested in getting to know more about you based on what they find out from your profile.
To get lots of good matches, you ought to take this part of online dating very seriously.
Getting matches is not about making yourself look like the most amazing person in the world. You want to get matches based on who you are and your preferences. If you are dating with a purpose, you’re looking for someone similar to you that you could have something real and lasting with.
Whether you’ll find this person or not depends a lot on how you write your dating profile. Even if you’re just looking to meet new people and/or have fun, there’s no point in getting matches that you don’t click with in real life.
To write a dating profile that gets good matches, you should showcase your personality, explain what you’re looking for, choose the right photos, and complete and verify your profile. Here’s how:
Showcase your personality:
Your profile description should be mostly about who you are as a person. Showcase your personality, and you will be more likely to find people similar to you.
Creating a profile with no description or a generic description isn’t going to get you matches, especially not good ones.
Your picture is a very important part of your dating profile, but your profile description is the most important one. Here’s how you can showcase your personality when you write the description:
1. Describe your hobbies and interests.
What do you enjoy doing in your free time? This will give people an insight into your life and your personality, so make sure to mention it in your profile.
Do you enjoy skiing, working out, or watching sci-fi movies? There’s certainly someone who likes the same things as you do, so mention your hobbies and interests.
This is useful to people who don’t share your interests too. To one person, your hobbies and interests might indicate that you’re their ideal partner. To another, they might show right away that you’re not a good match. Either way, it helps in finding the right person for you.
Go into detail when you describe your hobby. Instead of simply stating, “I work out,” write “I try to keep in shape and I’m a regular at the local gym” since this gives people more information. It should sound interesting too.
For instance, you could mention that you secretly write poetry or have a collection of coasters. Think about hobbies and interests that apply to you but are not generic. Feel free to use your sense of humor if you have a great one, but don’t make it look like you’re trying too hard.
2. Find an interesting way to describe your job.
Any job can be described in an interesting way. Try it. You don’t have to mention your job in your dating profile, but if you want to do that, find an interesting way to describe it.
For instance, if you’re an accountant, you could say that you’re amazing with numbers, and people pay you to handle their money. Mention that you’re an accountant too—don’t let them keep guessing what that job is, but have a great introduction to your profession.
What you do for a living is one of the first questions that someone who doesn’t know you is going to ask. So, why not answer it even before they ask, and do it in a fun way? Your job and your hobbies can help other people decide whether you’d be a good fit for each other and increase your chances of getting the right kind of matches.
3. Mention a strong opinion.
This is not about your political views or something else that could start a debate. Most importantly, this is not about your dealbreakers and criteria, which will be discussed later.
Mentioning a strong opinion is about stating something specific that you believe in that could be a great thing to have in common with your potential match. Consider things that aren’t that important, but you strongly care about, and not a lot of people do.
Do you hate olives? Is autumn the best season? Do you start your day early or tend to sleep in? How do you feel about trains? Do you have a favorite dinosaur?
Creating a good profile is all about making it fun and interesting while staying honest and true to yourself. So, what do you feel strongly about that not a lot of people would agree with?
4. Be positive and interesting.
While you’re making your profile interesting, don’t overdo it and make it sound snobbish or like you’re trying too hard. These are negative things, and you want your profile to portray you as a positive person, not just an interesting one.
When you’re writing your profile description, think about things that make you happy. Besides your hobbies and interests, this could be the way you relax after work or where you’d like to travel.
By getting specific about your likes and dislikes, you’re also showing that you’re not desperate. You’re not going to settle for just anyone, and you’re looking for a person who shares the same interests or can enjoy them with you. By being specific about who you are, you’re also specific about what you want.
5. Don’t go overboard with quirkiness.
Someone will love your quirks but don’t go overboard with listing and describing them. If you do, it will look like there’s no other person like you, when really you’re dating online to find that person.
Also, you don’t want to reveal everything about yourself in your profile. There are certain things that a person should find out after you get in touch and when you start dating in person.
So, don’t be an open book. You don’t have to list all your hobbies and pursuits, pick just a few of your most interesting ones. Your profile should spark people’s interest just enough to want to meet you, not get them to know you already.
6. Avoid clichés.
Avoid things that everyone says, such as “long walks on the beach.” Steer clear of any clichés, and try to be witty and unique when you write your description. Think of things that could serve as conversation starters instead of general things.
For instance, instead of “I like to laugh and have fun,” write “I like to go to comedy shows and watch Jim Carrey movies.” Instead of “I like jazz,” write “I’m a big Sinatra fan and a regular at the jazz club, but I’m mostly into electro swing.” Again, being specific is the key.
Your profile should be just as unique as you are, and it should offer something new compared to other profiles. So, what makes you unique? “I like to dance” sounds pretty generic. You could write, “I’ve studied ballroom dancing, but I’m also up for dancing in clubs as long as I get to show off the moves I invented.”
7. Keep it short but detailed.
While you should go into details and get specific, keep in mind that no one wants to read an essay on a dating site. So, keep your profile description relatively short. There are plenty of things that you can tell people once you get in touch, so just include an interesting introduction on your profile.
The purpose of your profile description is to get people interested in you. So, consider which things about you are relevant for this. Maybe you love to travel, and it’s important that your future partner likes to travel too. In that case, be sure to mention something about it.
However, maybe you enjoy fishing, but you don’t care whether your future partner will like fishing too. In this case, don’t include fishing in your profile description. You can show this hobby by posting a picture of yourself fishing if you care about your potential partner enjoying spending time in nature. Pictures are also a great tool for showcasing your personality, but more on that later.
8. Be your authentic self.
Do you genuinely like the things that you say you like? Make sure to be your authentic self on dating sites. It can be tempting to present yourself differently to how you really are. A lot of people do this, but you’re not doing yourself any favors by pretending that you’re someone you’re not.
Eventually, your date is going to get to know the real you, so don’t make them expect someone who’s not going to show up. Be your authentic self when writing your dating profile, as well as when you communicate with your matches.
You’re creating this profile so that you can find a person who likes you. There’s no point in it if you make them like the person you’re pretending to be. Find people who like you for you by being honest about what you enjoy and want.
9. Mention the music that you like.
What do you like that someone else might like just as much? Your favorite travel destination, food, or music could be a great conversation starter. When it comes to their interests, people usually mention music, sports, movies, and books, but music seems to be the most popular choice.
So, mention your favorite band or the kind of music that you listen to. You could also mention a memorable concert that you’ve been to or include song lyrics in your profile description.
Think about it, if you and your date like the same music, it gives you a great opportunity to ask them out on a date. Simply suggest a concert or a bar where you could enjoy the music that you both like.
10. Highlight your best qualities, but be honest.
It’s okay to present yourself in the best possible light, just make sure that you’re not doing it to the point where you’re being dishonest about who you are. As you already learned, it’s very important to be your authentic self. Write about the person that you are, not who you’d like to be.
The goal is to appear interesting and positive while still being honest and not exaggerating your good qualities too much. You should also be honest about what you’re looking for.
Explain what you’re looking for:
Your dating profile should include information about who you are, but it should also include what you want. What kind of partner are you looking for? What kind of relationship are you hoping for? Are you looking for someone adventurous or for someone to settle down with? Here’s how to point it out in your profile to get good matches:
1. Be honest and specific.
Whether you’re looking to find the love of your life, or just want to have some fun, be honest about it when writing your dating profile. This will save you the trouble of going on dates with potential matches just to find out that you’re not on the same page. Be honest about what you’re looking for to increase your chances of finding it.
Think about what your ideal partner should be like too. What are the things that matter the most so that the two of you could have a future? Maybe they have to want kids someday, or they should be up for traveling for the next five years.
Be specific when describing the kind of person that you’re hoping to find. What would be the biggest indicator that you have found them or the biggest sign that they’re not who you’re searching for?
2. State dealbreakers.
It’s perfectly fine to state your dealbreakers in your profile description. Maybe you have some strong beliefs, and you’re looking for someone like you. For instance, you could write “Looking for someone who attends church every Sunday.”
It’s also common to write about what kind of relationship you’re hoping to find in terms of dealbreakers. For instance, if you’re looking for the real deal, you could write “No hookups” at the end of your profile description.
Maybe you have some other dealbreakers. For instance, maybe it’s important to you that your date doesn’t smoke or drink. While it might be okay to exclude everyone who smokes and drinks, consider how many other things you could have in common with them and how many people you’re excluding.
So, focus only on dealbreakers that really matter to you. Because, ultimately, the purpose of dealbreakers is to help you realize whether you could have a future with someone or not.
Try to keep an open mind. While having the same political views can bring you closer together, it might not be what you want to base your search on. Look for someone who has the same core values and relationship goals as you do. If you’re determined to find people with the same beliefs, habits, or hobbies, search for an app or website that caters exclusively to those people because there’ll probably be one.
3. Focus on what you’re looking for, not what you’re trying to avoid.
It’s okay to write down your dealbreakers, but when you do, try to turn them into what you want, not what you don’t want. For instance, instead of writing that you’re looking for someone who doesn’t smoke or drink, write down that you want someone who leads a healthy lifestyle. Instead of “No hookups,” you can write “Looking for a serious relationship.” The same rule can be applied to anything you don’t want.
Don’t include too many dealbreakers in your description. When you do include some, phrase them as what you are searching for, not what you’re trying to avoid. This will help you find that person just the same as the other way around.
But, it will also give a chance to those who’d be perfect for you other than the dealbreaker. You don’t have to give these people a chance, but this way, you’ll at least get to know who they are and be able to consider it. Again, it’s important to keep an open mind and look beyond your type.
4. Don’t describe the physical appearance of a person.
What if your ideal partner doesn’t look the way you’re imagining them? By describing the physical appearance of a person you’re searching for, you might be eliminating your perfect match.
Don’t focus on height, weight, hair color, eye color, body type, or anything else regarding the physical appearance of your perfect match. You will still get to decide whether you’ll give someone a chance based on their picture, but not just based on that.
Describe the kind of person they are, not what they look like. Are they adventurous, funny, smart, well-read, or ambitious? Maybe it’s important that they have respectable manners or that they are a good listener.
Describe the person, not the body. Think about it. Would you rather give a chance to someone who is your ideal partner or to someone who just looks like one? Don’t assume what your perfect match looks like, or even what you’ll find attractive in someone.
5. Focus on what matters to you in the long term.
Maybe it’s currently very important to you that your perfect match likes rock music because you could go to upcoming concerts and festivals together. However, does it really matter to you what kind of music your partner listens to when you’re thinking about it in the long term?
Maybe it does, and that’s okay. However, maybe you just care about the upcoming concerts, and music doesn’t matter that much to you. If so, don’t make rock music a must-have.
Think about your plans for the future. Where do you see yourself five, and even ten years from now? Maybe you would like to move to another country or start a family. So, this is what your perfect match should want too. You can mention that your match must like travel or must want to have kids someday.
6. Keep an open mind.
Like most people, you probably have a type. However, keep in mind that your type is not necessarily the same as your ideal partner. Don’t blindly stick to finding the person who’s exactly your type when there are lots of people who could open up a new world to you.
When dating, it’s important to get out of your comfort zone and expand your horizons. In addition, you can’t really figure out whether the person’s right for you based solely on their profile. They might look like your type but have nothing in common with you, or look nothing like your type but be perfectly compatible with you.
It’s good to have an idea of who your ideal partner is. However, don’t let the idea of a person block your view to the point that you don’t see actual potential matches. Give people a chance and search for compatibility, chemistry, and an almost effortless connection.
If you have that with someone, it doesn’t really matter if they’re not your type. Remind yourself that your type changes too, just like you do. Someone who was perfect for the old version of you might not be right for the person that you’re trying to become.
Choose the right photos:
You can have a great profile description, but if your picture’s not just up to scratch, you’re going to miss out on a lot of potentially good matches.
This is not about looking like a supermodel. There are things that people notice about your pictures on an online dating app that make them decide whether to swipe right or left.
Here’s what you need to do to make sure that your photo gets you more matches:
1. Choose four to six photos.
People can’t really tell what you look like based on only one picture. In addition, having only one picture suggests that it’s either a fake profile, the person isn’t serious about dating online, or they don’t want to show what they really look like.
Either of these things will make you lose matches. So, make sure to include at least four to six pictures in your profile. Don’t put less than three pictures, and make sure that they are all different. You don’t need three selfies in a row.
2. Choose photos that showcase your personality.
Your main profile picture should be of your face, but the others don’t need to be. In fact, it’s even better if they are action shots that showcase your personality.
Maybe you are rollerblading, skiing, playing chess, or painting in the picture. Let your photos tell a story about you, not just show your face. Seeing you in action will help people get a better idea of how you look and what kind of person you are.
Let your photos showcase your everyday lifestyle, especially if you like to engage in outdoor activities. Include head shots, action shots, and body shots in your profile pictures. This will make you more interesting to potential matches!
3. Avoid old photos.
People on dating sites don’t care about how you looked five years ago, they want to know who they’ll see when they show up for a date now. So, don’t choose old photos, especially those that don’t resemble you anymore. Make sure that all of your photos were taken recently.
If you don’t have any good recent photos, make a decision to take them before creating your dating profile. You could even hire a professional to take your photos, just remember that photos need to show how you really look, not how you’d like to look.
4. Don’t hide your face.
Wearing sunglasses in a picture entirely hides your face. You might look cool with sunglasses on, but those who don’t know you can’t tell what you look like. So, don’t choose pictures where you’re hiding your face.
The point is for people to see your face, so don’t use hats, sunglasses, or anything else that would prevent them from seeing you clearly.
You might not be comfortable with showing your face because you think that you’re not attractive enough. However, that is for your potential matches to decide, and you just need to look relaxed, fun, and approachable.
After all, there’s no point in hiding on dating sites when your goal is to meet people in person. They aren’t going to be willing to see you in person if they can’t see you in a picture.
5. Don’t use too many group photos.
Having a group photo as one of your profile pictures might be okay, because it shows that you are social. However, this can’t be your main picture, and you shouldn’t make people guess who you are from all the faces in the photos.
It’s also a very bad idea to choose pictures where you’re with people of the opposite sex, and a terrible idea to use photos where you’re with your ex.
Ultimately, it’s safer to avoid group photos altogether. However, as long as you make sure that people can clearly recognize you and that they won’t assume that you were sleeping with someone from the photo, you’ll be fine.
6. Take a picture with your pet.
Many people like pets, and people look friendly and loving when they’re with a pet in the picture. So, if you have a pet, pose for the cutest picture in the world.
Not only does this present you in a positive light, but it also lets your potential matches learn more about you. In addition, it’s a great conversation starter as well as something that you can have in common with your matches.
Are you a dog person or a cat person? Do you have a guinea pig? A snake? A picture with a pet makes you look interesting too!
However, avoid taking a picture with someone else’s pet if you don’t have one. People will assume that it’s your pet, so you’ll just waste time explaining yourself.
7. Smile in the pictures.
Smiling in a picture makes you look genuine and inviting, and it’s attractive for both genders. You don’t have to smile in every photo, but if you’re smiling in most of them people will sense the positive vibe and be attracted to it.
You should never choose a photo where you look depressed or worried. Your photos should radiate positive energy, so pick the ones that show you when you are in a good mood, comfortable, and relaxed. After all, that is when you look your best and how you will look when you’re in a happy relationship!
8. Choose high-quality pictures.
Poorly cropped, blurry, distant, and dark photos don’t belong on your dating profile. Choose high-quality photos and show that you’ve put some effort into presenting yourself properly. You can always hire a professional if you lack quality photos.
Your pictures shouldn’t be heavily edited either. Avoid too many filters and make sure that you look like the person that your matches are going to see when you go on a date.
9. Actually look like you do in the photo.
This has to be emphasized once more—you need to really look like you do in the photo. Obviously, you want to highlight your best features and present yourself in the best possible light… But it needs to still be you.
Think about how you would look if you were dressed up for a date with your ideal partner. You would probably present the best version of yourself. That is how you should look in your photos.
Don’t let your dates expect someone else when you show up for the date. A lot of people make themselves look significantly better than they really do. It’s okay to do this by dressing up and using cosmetic products, but don’t go overboard with editing. You shouldn’t even overdo it with dressing up and cosmetic products unless that’s what you normally do.
10. Update your profile regularly.
Your photos can quickly become old and outdated. Don’t forget to update your profile on a regular basis. Maybe you don’t like skiing anymore. So, you should remove that picture. Maybe you’re suddenly okay with hookups, so you want to remove that dealbreaker from your description.
Keep your photos and your description regularly updated. Most likely, you aren’t going to find the perfect match quickly. So, you’ll spend a while on the dating site, and things will change in time.
Even if you do meet someone great right away, you could later realize that it’s not working out and go back to your profile. So, make sure that it shows who you are right now, not who you were a few months ago.
Complete and verify your profile:
The last part of a good dating profile is completing and verifying your profile. Incomplete and unverified profiles get fewer matches. If you are serious about finding a great match, you should increase the odds by not leaving anything blank. Here’s how:
1. Don’t leave the description blank.
A profile that has only one picture and no description isn’t going to get matches. Whatever you do, don’t leave the description blank. You don’t have to write everything that you’ve read about so far, but make sure to write something. It should include who you are and what you are looking for.
This is usually necessary to complete your profile and get good matches. Profiles with a lot of information show up more to users, and people are more likely to message a person when they can read something about them first.
2. Post several photos.
It’s already advised that you post at least four pictures, but posting several photos is also often necessary to complete the profile. So, don’t skip this step, even if you feel reluctant at first. Post as many pictures as you need for your profile to be complete, whether it’s less or more than four.
Don’t forget to make these photos different. To sum up again, you should include headshots, body shots, and action shots. Avoid group photos, low-quality photos, and photos where you’re hiding your face with sunglasses or a hat. Don’t forget to smile and say cheese!
3. Complete your profile.
Most of the time you will be required to write a description and post several photos for your profile to be complete. However, if the app or site requires something more than this, do that as well. Most apps and sites will display complete profiles more often than those with little to no information.
4. Verify your profile.
If the app has a verification feature, verifying your profile will help you get more matches. This reassures potential matches that you’re a real person and not a scammer or a fake profile. To verify your profile you will usually be asked to post a picture and imitate a certain pose.
Since it’s that easy to verify a profile, an unverified profile represents a huge red flag in the online dating world. You will lose a lot of potential matches if you skip this step.
5. Proofread everything.
In the end, don’t forget that grammar and spelling matter too. Consciously or not, some people might decide not to contact you just because you have grammar and/or spelling errors in your profile. The reason for this might be that failing to fix the errors indicates that you’re not putting a lot of effort into online dating.
People also don’t expect to have a stimulating conversation with someone who makes grammar and spelling errors. Proofreading everything before making your profile public is the least you can do to make sure that your profile looks good and inviting.
If you need help with this, ask a friend if they could read through your profile to check for mistakes or even to suggest better ways to write a certain thing.
So, remember to showcase your personality, explain what you’re looking for, pick the best photos, and complete your profile. If you do these things, you are likely to get a lot of matches while dating online, and some of them will be good enough to match with you in real life as well!
Still not sure how to write a dating profile that gets you noticed?
We really recommend you seek the help and advice of an experienced dating expert rather than a friend or family member. Why? Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours. They can work with you to get your profile looking and sounding fab so that you attract more matches and messages from the right sorts of people.
A good place to get help is the website Relationship Hero – here, you’ll be able to connect with a dating expert via phone, video, or instant message.
While you can do everything yourself, you can speed up the process of meeting people and even finding your perfect match by consulting with someone who knows the ins and outs of a great bio and picture.
You’ve probably not considered getting expert help before but the truth is, so many people could benefit from some – and that likely includes you. So why not explore the possibility?
Click here if you’d like to learn more about the service Relationship Hero provide and the process of getting started.
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