Why you are wrong to believe you deserve pain and suffering

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Have you ever convinced yourself that you deserve to have bad things happen to you?

Have you felt pain and believed that it was warranted?

If so, you need to read this article.

This attitude of pain being justified because of something you might have thought, said, or done is a poison that you have to flush from your mind in order to truly find peace and happiness.

Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you if you feel like you deserve to suffer. You may want to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient.

Feeling bad about something you regret doing is natural and healthy—it is how we learn where our moral boundaries are.

When we are troubled by our actions, it is because we understand their negative consequences and wish to somehow take them back.

But that’s not what we’re talking about here…

We’re talking about the inner belief that you have not earned the right to be free from pain and hurt.

We’re talking about the pervasive mindset of unworthiness—the idea that the universe as a whole somehow wishes you to suffer for some unknown reason.

When your mind starts to think this way, you no longer try to prevent the hurt and, instead, openly accept it as your new reality.

You don’t question the reasoning behind the pain, preferring to consider it your fate in life.

You actually begin to associate your life with suffering.

But you are no more deserving of pain and hurt than anyone else.

You are not destined to suffer. There is no malevolent force bringing misery to your doorstep.

You are a miracle of life that is both an utterly unique individual and part of a far greater whole.

Peace of mind and spirit belong to you as much as any other person—all you have to do is accept that this is the case.

You have to accept that while bad things do happen, they are by no means the inevitable consequence of every action you take.

You are entitled to happiness.

You are worthy of joy.

You deserve to experience many moments of bliss.

You are only on this earth for a short time and you mustn’t spend a single moment in the belief that pain is all that you can expect.

By all means prepare yourself for the possibility of emotional pain and physical agony—these befall most of us at some point in our lives.

But never seek to convince yourself that this is all there is.

Constantly remind yourself of the wonder that can be found in this world if you are prepared to look for it.

Revel in the moment, rejoice in the beauty of nature, and be thankful for moments shared in love.

Cherish the gift of pure existence that we have all been given and for which we must all take responsibility.

Do not let it go to waste in the false belief that your life deserves to be full of pain and punishment.

Yes, pain can teach us many things and help us grow as individuals, but only when it comes as a natural consequence of life.

If we seek out suffering, it will have no such lessons to teach us.

After all, how can we expect to learn anything when our minds are so unreceptive to the potential good in any situation?

It’s also true that you can take a great deal of meaning from suffering, but it isn’t the case that you have to suffer in order to find meaning.

In fact, as long as you maintain the belief that this pain is somehow right, you are likely to overlook any meaning that might be gained.

Pain does happen—it may be a benign consequence of chance, the result of our own choices, or down to the actions (malevolent or otherwise) of third parties.

While this is our reality, we should not let our minds trick us into believing that life must be dominated by pain or that one person deserves more than any other.

both are lies.

Never forget this…

Still believe you deserve to feel pain?

Talk to a therapist about it.

Why? Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours.

They can guide you and help you to see that you don’t deserve pain, no matter what you may have done in the past.

BetterHelp.com is a website where you can connect with a therapist via phone, video, or instant message.

While you may try to work through this yourself, it may be a bigger issue than self-help can address.

And if it is affecting your mental well-being, relationships, or life in general, it is a significant thing that needs to be resolved.

Too many people try to muddle through and do their best to overcome issues that they never really get to grips with. If it’s at all possible in your circumstances, therapy is 100% the best way forward.

Online therapy is actually a good option for many people. It’s more convenient than in-person therapy and is more affordable in a lot of cases.

And you get access to the same level of qualified and experienced professional.

Here’s that link again if you’d like to learn more about the service BetterHelp.com provide and the process of getting started.

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About The Author

Steve Phillips-Waller is the founder and editor of A Conscious Rethink. He has written extensively on the topics of life, relationships, and mental health for more than 8 years.