Everyone has an opinion. Not surprisingly, many of those opinions are bad. They are uninformed, unexamined, or just a way to impose their beliefs on others. Judgment and social pressure are powerful things that can be used to coerce and manipulate. Since other people don’t want to feel like an “other”, they conform whether it’s best for them or not.
However, if you want to live a full life that makes sense for you, you’ll need to discard these fears. The judgment of other people can’t distract you from the life you want to live. No one is going to have your best interests in mind like you will. So, if you want to make the most of your life, consider how you can implement some of these seven behaviors of people who don’t fear the judgment of others.
1. They speak their mind even if their opinion is unpopular.
Dr. Hannah Rose writes that many people aren’t open about their opinions because they are afraid of being wrong, of conflict, or judgment. People who don’t fear judgment will often express their opinion, but maintain an open mind about learning more. They make their opinion known and understand that they can handle what may come of it.
This behavior is a double-edged sword because certain opinions are unpopular for a reason, and they can have long-lasting repercussions. It’s important to call out what you think is right when you feel there’s a wrong done. Furthermore, it’s okay to have opinions that don’t align with whatever social group you find yourself in. Just be pragmatic about your choice.
2. They bring their authentic self to the table.
Authenticity is challenging in a society that wants you to conform to a particular social mold. There are plenty of labels for people who don’t conform, such as black sheep and weird. However, authenticity is something people are craving now more than ever in a world where uniqueness seems to be punished more than embraced.
People living highly authentic lives and lifestyles don’t conform to the social expectations of sameness and compliance. Instead, they march to the beat of their own drum, embracing all the quirks and nuances that make them a unique individual. They don’t set out to earn the approval or acceptance of anyone other than themselves. Yes, this behavior is a difficult thing to implement consistently, but it creates immeasurable peace of mind and happiness.
I can’t stress to you how important it is to embrace your authentic self. Personally, I lived in fear of my own authenticity until my early 30s, trying to fit in with the crowd. Eventually, I said screw it, I’m not doing this anymore. I dropped the act and that’s when things really started turning around. I started finding people like me, a community like me. I didn’t have the stress and depression of trying to fit in. So much of my unhappiness with myself and life just receded. Authenticity matters. You matter.
3. They can accept criticism without getting defensive.
Criticism is a normal part of life. Other people are going to have opinions on what you do and why you’re doing it. The question is – should you care?
Criticism is a nuanced subject. First, you have “brutally honest” criticism that is focused more on the brutality than the honesty. Then you have criticism not based in reality, where the other person is just trying to tear you down based on their own nonsense.
And, lastly, you have constructive criticism. Honest, constructive criticism can help you find the path that is right for you. However, the only way you can make use of it is if you can handle criticism and be receptive to feedback in the first place.
People who don’t fear judgment understand that constructive criticism can help a lot if you can accept it with grace. Additionally, they understand that they don’t have to take any criticism personally or act on it if they don’t agree. They know that others’ opinions are not necessarily a reflection of who they are.
Being open to feedback is a behavior and mindset that one must practice, but it’s a behavior that brings a lot of peace of mind in a world where everyone has an opinion.
4. They set and enforce their boundaries firmly.
Boundaries are an essential part of good mental and emotional health. Dr. Christine Korol tells us that assertiveness and boundaries will help you manage criticism and the people who give it.
People who are afraid of what others might think often have weak or nonexistent boundaries. They are more interested in keeping the peace and being agreeable than they are in standing up for themselves. That is an incredibly unhealthy and potentially damaging behavior because no one else is going to advocate for you or your needs; you must do it yourself.
People who don’t fear judgment understand that they aren’t going to make everyone happy all of the time, nor should they. It’s not your responsibility to take care of everyone’s feelings or carry their burdens. You have to keep you happy and healthy first. That will sometimes piss other people off, and that’s okay. They can be as angry as they want to be. At the end of the day, it’s their problem, not yours.
5. They take risks without fearing failure.
The anticipation and fear of failure kill more dreams than any amount of actual failure ever could. Fear prevents so many people from even bothering to try. Why? Because they are often afraid of the judgment that comes with it. Messing something up can be embarrassing or hurtful. No one wants to be laughed at or talked down to because they tried and failed.
However, the people that would do those negative things are small-minded and petty. People who aren’t afraid of judgment boldly stride forward, knowing that even if they do fail, failure does not have to be an end. In fact, failure is often an indicator that you need to pivot in a different direction to find success.
You know what doesn’t work, now you can try to come up with a plan that does. The petty people don’t matter. They aren’t living your life. Besides, why would you want to earn the approval of people who look down on you or mock you for trying?
6. They trust their judgment and don’t seek external validation.
Insecure, self-conscious people often need external validation to be okay with themselves or their decisions. They want someone to tell them that their thoughts or feelings are correct because they don’t feel as though they are valid without the approval of someone else.
People who only need internal validation are perfectly fine with the decisions they make and their repercussions because they know that the opinions of others don’t matter much. The truth is that only you can truly know all the facets and angles of yourself and what makes the right decision for you!
Self-confidence and internal validation, regardless of what other people think, allow you to embrace the unique experience that is you. You can engage in behaviors that bring you joy or that mean something to you, all without caring what others see while you do so.
7. They pursue their passions fearlessly.
Passion is a unique and beautiful thing that everyone should look for. And there are so many things in life to be passionate about. But, there’s a problem. There are a lot of negative people out there who are more than happy to shoot down your hopes and dreams. They want to drag you down to their level because they are unhappy or afraid to pursue that which lights their soul on fire.
People who don’t fear judgment don’t abide by those social standards. Instead, they pursue that which fills them with passion and they don’t look for external validation to approve it. They don’t even think about how other people feel about it. It’s not their concern because those other people are not living their lives, just like no one else is living yours.
Creating fulfillment for yourself can be difficult if you live within the confines of the expectations of others. Fulfillment is a personal journey. Sure, other people can help you along the way, but ultimately it is up to you to pursue.
Final thoughts…
All lives are unique. Everyone has different circumstances and experiences that guide the way they live. Many of these circumstances and experiences are formed by the social expectations of others. In many cases, you are expected to conform, and if you don’t conform then you are wrong.
That’s just not true.
You have to live your life in a way that is true and fulfilling for you, a way that makes you happy. The negative opinions of others don’t really matter because they don’t have your best interests and happiness in mind. If they did, they wouldn’t be making you feel bad about wanting to be yourself.
You are free to choose how you behave, assuming you are not harming others. And you are free NOT to worry about the opinions or judgments of others too.
