Independent thinkers often find themselves on the business end of criticism. Every group of people has its own set of tenets, morals, and expectations that its members are expected to abide by, whether these are publicly stated or not. And when you don’t abide by those spoken or unspoken rules, you are criticized to try and make you comply.
This isn’t necessarily a conscious choice, but rather a quirk of human psychology to protect the group. The problem is that the group isn’t always right, and they may not be right if you find yourself criticized for the following kinds of behaviors.
1. Questioning power and authority.
Those who question power and authority are often labelled as being difficult and disrespectful. Rebellious is a word thrown around like it’s an insult, like it’s a bad thing to not just blindly obey whatever rules there are, or whoever happens to be giving the orders. Still, the group does not like to have the peace disturbed, even if they’re not doing the right thing.
It’s good to question power and authority because people in power are just people, prone to the same kind of mistakes and flaws as the rest of us. However, their mistakes are a much bigger issue because they will affect the group at large.
2. Changing your mind.
The idea that changing your mind is a bad thing is a hilariously stupid social standard that the media in America has created for Americans. Life is about growth and change, and when you learn new things, you’re going to change. As you change, you’re going to have new thoughts and opinions. You’re going to see things in a different light, and you’ll want to change your opinion!
But then what? Then other people call you a flip-flopper. They may point at beliefs you had yesterday, or maybe even twenty years ago, and say, “Well, this is what you believed before. Are you saying you were wrong?” Yes! That’s exactly what’s being said!
As Dr. Katie Blake writes, it’s not a bad thing to be wrong or admit that you’re wrong. It’s good. It means you’re learning new things, growing, and embracing new behaviors.
3. Being unapologetically honest.
Some people just can’t handle the truth unless it’s sugarcoated. People who are unapologetically honest are often criticized for telling the hurtful truth, whether they were trying to be offensive or not. Sensitive people will often try to shut them down for being too direct, harsh, or unkind.
But sometimes that’s just the way it needs to be. Psychology Today informs us that you need people in your life who will be honest with you if you want to grow and evolve. Otherwise, you may not be able to see the areas of your life that are perpetuating your unhappiness that have room for improvement.
4. Spending time alone.
There are some people who cannot fathom not needing to be around people all the time. Personally, I’m someone who thrives when I get time to myself. As an introvert, it’s a time to recharge my own batteries, enjoy my solo hobbies, or get creative work done. It’s a good time to just sit and think, contemplating creative projects and allowing myself to brainstorm. In many cases, I prefer to work alone, though I can work with a group when needed. I’m not an antisocial person. I generally like people, I just like to be alone, too.
I find that there are a lot of people who have an issue with that. More often than not, any time I’ve expressed a need for solitude, other people take it as an insult, as though I don’t want them around. They think I don’t care or don’t want to be a part of the group. I do, but I also want to be alone at times to recharge, and there’s nothing wrong with that, regardless of what others say.
Everyone has different social needs. Independent people may need more alone time than others.
5. Saying “no” without explaining yourself.
The word “no” is hard to swallow for a lot of people, particularly those who have some angle they are trying to work. They don’t want to hear “no” because they want something from you. It may not even be that they are bad people or doing wrong things. It could just be someone in your life who needs something.
Still, an independent thinker may be criticized as being selfish, cold, or uncooperative for reinforcing their boundaries, because toxic people see boundaries as a hurdle to clear rather than a place to stop. The truth is that independent thinkers understand their personal boundaries and trust themselves without the need to justify their choices to others.
6. Criticizing social norms and popular opinion.
Just because society or a group of people finds something okay doesn’t mean it is. In fact, a lot of outrageous behavior is normalized because few call it out, and those who do can look forward to being ostracized and questioned. Of course, it’s ok to question people, but that should go both ways.
Groups of people generally don’t like to have their peace disturbed. In many cases, you’ll find that they are more than happy to settle for less or wrongdoing if it means it won’t disturb the status quo. That’s why independent thinkers are so important. They serve an integral role in helping to provide a counterbalance to groupthink.
7. Avoiding trendiness.
There are some people who just have themselves figured out. They know what they like and they stick to it. They don’t necessarily jump on the latest and greatest trend because they aren’t concerned that the group likes it. They’re more concerned about whether or not they like what’s on offer.
People may accuse them of being outdated or stuck in their ways, but in reality, the free thinker is just siding with their own opinions and desires. They stay authentic even when conformity is rewarded. If they like what’s going on, they may choose to jump on that trend because it’s of interest to them, not because it’s what everyone else is doing.
8. Choosing an unconventional path.
Free thinkers may be criticized as being irresponsible, naive, or unrealistic when they choose a different path than the group expects them to. The group will tend to think that you should follow one of the paths that are already out there, and they can’t necessarily imagine that another approach might work. After all, this old approach worked; so why don’t you use that?
But maybe that approach doesn’t match the goals of the independent thinker. Maybe they have collected different knowledge, accrued different experiences, and see a path that is more right for them. Maybe they don’t see success the same way that the group does.
It may not be an easy path. In fact, blazing a new trail virtually guarantees that it will be the harder approach because no one’s gone that way before.
Final thoughts…
Independent, critical thinkers are often faced with ridicule, scrutiny, and anger. People don’t like it when their boat gets rocked. It makes them uncomfortable because it’s new and different, even if it’s better. Then comes the social pressure to conform, to bring the errant person back into the fold of the group.
That’s a pressure you have to resist if you want to be at peace and happy with yourself. Unfortunately, that may mean you need to find a group that is more accepting of how you think. Sometimes you can find yourself in the wrong social circles. If they don’t treat you with respect for your differences, then it’s worth moving on to find a group that does.
