It’s easy to tell when you and your partner have a strong physical connection: not only are you together as often as possible and committed to your partnership, but the bedroom frolics are likely to be incendiary.
That said, many people may be physically together with their partners, but not necessarily emotionally connected. Some are okay with this and see relationships more like business arrangements. But for those who prefer to have stronger connections to their lovers, the following are telltale signs that your emotional connection is just as powerful as your physical one.
1. You can sit in comfortable silence together.
Some folks are really uncomfortable with silence: both when alone and when in someone else’s company. When they’re with their partner, they feel the need to fill any silences with chatter or do something like watch a movie, so they don’t have to deal with the supposed discomfort that a lack of verbal communication brings. In their minds, if people aren’t talking to each other, there’s something wrong.
Meanwhile, experts advise that those with strong emotional connections are perfectly comfortable sitting in companionable silence together. If you and your partner can hang out in a quiet space without the need to talk, that speaks volumes (no pun intended) about how secure you are in your relationship. You can simply read, do crafts, or sit and watch the sunset on the porch together without any discomfort or insecurity.
2. You seem able to intuit each other’s needs without speaking.
This can be as simple as sensing that your partner could really use a cup of tea, or that they might need a hug (or some undisturbed alone time) without them having to ask for one. Similarly, your partner might bring you a sandwich before you’ve even realized that you’re hungry, simply because they had a feeling that you could use one.
While this isn’t telepathy or ESP per se, it’s more like an intuitive “knowing” — almost like you can tap into your partner’s needs like they’re an extension of your own. And it’s backed by science. My partner and I experience this often, where we’ll bring each other tea or snacks because we just sense that the other could use some, or can just “tell” if the other person is having a stressful day.
Of course, though, no one can read minds, and couples with strong emotional connections also communicate their wants and needs rather than expecting their partner to guess.
3. You communicate honestly, even when it’s a difficult subject.
Some couples claim that their relationships are ideal because they never have any disagreements whatsoever. But experts advise that this is actually quite troubling, as misunderstandings and conflicts are inevitable in any partnership. If a couple doesn’t ever argue, that’s usually a strong indication that they’re either afraid of disagreeing, are intent on people-pleasing, or have some other kind of disharmony going on.
If you and your partner have a strong emotional connection, you’re able to discuss things openly and honestly — even when the subject is a difficult one. You’re focused on mutual love and respect, and that includes being honest with one another when issues need to be addressed.
4. You make a point of knowing and honoring each other’s boundaries.
We all have triggers and sore spots that we’d prefer others to avoid poking at, or environmental annoyances that we try to avoid. It’s important for you and your partner to know the things that can make each other uncomfortable, and even more important to honor personal boundaries.
For example, my partner has a thing about people blocking doorways when talking to her (due to past trauma), so I respect that. In turn, she’s super respectful about using my equipment, knowing how others have damaged my belongings in the past.
Those who don’t have strong emotional connections don’t really care about their partners’ emotional well-being in situations like this: their focus is on getting their own needs met, and if their partners get upset, that’s their issue.
5. You laugh together regularly.
Being able to laugh with your partner is a surefire sign that you don’t just have a strong emotional connection, you’re also thoroughly comfortable in each other’s company. The ability to be silly and belly laugh together is one of the healthiest things imaginable in a relationship. And science confirms that couples who laugh together stay together.
It shows that you’re not just able to let your guard down with your partner, but that neither of you expects the other to be formal and serious all the time. You appreciate each other’s authenticity and encourage each other to have lighthearted fun as often as possible.
6. You can discuss your deepest thoughts and emotions without worrying that you’ll be mocked or dismissed for them.
Most of us have experienced situations in which we’ve opened up to a person about something important to us and been made fun of for doing so. Either that, or our thoughts were outright dismissed instead of being acknowledged as valid, let alone respected.
If you and your partner can discuss your deepest ideas, feelings, experiences, and contemplations without risk of dismissal or mockery, that’s a sign of an immensely powerful emotional connection.
7. You are each other’s sentinels.
Not many couples will be in situations where they’ll need to take turns guarding one another so each can sleep safely. But just about every couple will find themselves in situations where they’ll either need to stand up for and defend each other, or walk away and let their supposed loved ones fend for themselves.
While it’s important for people to fight their own battles, it’s also incredibly important for people to protect one another, especially when they’re in a committed relationship. If you aren’t the type who’d abandon your partner in a stressful situation because you “don’t do conflict”, and they’d protect you in a crisis instead of hiding behind you or throwing you towards your attacker, your emotional connection is stronger than adamantium.
8. You sincerely trust each other.
Solid relationships are built on trust: it’s the most important building block for any real partnership because without it, there’s no foundation. People who don’t sincerely trust their partners are forever on their guard around them and are likely only with them for temporary amusement or personal gain. There’s no real emotional connection; probably just physical attraction paired with opportunity or prestige by association.
Meanwhile, those with strong emotional connections trust their partners implicitly. They don’t hide anything from their spouses because they do not need to: they’re transparent and honest about everything in their lives, and would never do anything to betray one another’s faith.
9. You’re a united team in all respects.
A lot of couples live adjacent to one another, rather than truly together. They’ll live in the same house, raise kids together, and interact on a superficial basis, but there’s no real emotional tie between them. They’re more like glorified roommates than emotionally connected partners.
In fact, they’re likely to bolt as soon as the partnership gets difficult or boring. If future plans are discussed, they’re usually brushed off with changed subjects or the phrase, “We shall see”, so neither has to commit to things they may not be around to partake in.
Meanwhile, when you and your partner talk about future plans, it’s as a couple rather than discussing your individual interests and musing about how your pursuits potentially align.
Similarly, if a problem or project arises, you tackle it as a united team: dividing tasks suited to your skills, and working together to solve it. You’ve made commitments to each other, and you’ll honor them to the best of your abilities.
Final thoughts…
There are lots of different types of relationships out there, which is great because we all have different needs and wants in that regard. Some people are cool with keeping things casual, but for those who crave a deep emotional connection, the signs listed here are like a checklist of things to look for and cultivate in a partnership.
Whether you’re in a new relationship or taking stock of one that’s lasted for years, all the signs here imply that the connection you have with your partner isn’t just solid: it’s sacred.
