Not everybody agrees with Forrest Gump that life is like a box of chocolates. There are those out there who think of life as more like one big endurance test. “What trash am I going to have to deal with today?” It’s heavy before they’ve even stepped out of bed.
The people who really enjoy their lives live with a totally different mindset. Each day is perceived as a chance to be a good person, work on their goals, and allow moments to shape their memories forever.
Which one are you? Do you truly love what life is all about, or would you rather wade through the mud one day at a time?
I’m the former – pass me those chocolates!
1. They shape their days rather than drifting through and wasting them.
You have a full, empty day ahead of you! It’s not often you get one, and it’s been on the calendar a while.
Now, don’t get me wrong, we don’t all enjoy doing the same things, so it’s not about doing a particular thing, but rather it’s about the intent to shape it the way you want.
For example, you might want to shape your day by binge-watching all the Lord of the Rings movies, and that’s fine if that’s what makes you happy. Others might go for a hike or finally get around to painting their garden fence. The common factor here is doing rather than drifting.
Days can be wasted when a person doesn’t see them as a chance to do something, anything that brings them joy. There are a million ways to find joy. For me, as long as I can hear the birds and feel some fresh air on my face, I’m happy. But I look for those things, rather than waste a day expecting joy to find me.
What about you?
2. They preserve their energy with boundaries.
I never used to have very healthy boundaries, especially when it came to how I allowed people to treat me. I endured negative treatment for years, spending an entire childhood not even being aware that the treatment was negative.
I have boundaries now. I refuse to be pulled into drama, but I speak up if something isn’t right. I have lost touch with people I once called friends, because they used me. I preserve my energy now with the kind of boundaries that allow me to rest when I need to, and have my own limits be recognized.
Why should any of us endure being treated poorly? Some do, because they see it as a part of life. They’re used to it. They don’t know what it’s like to not be treated that way.
Energy is finite, and I intend on looking after mine from now on. It leaves much more time freed up to enjoy my life.
3. They see their job as having meaning, rather than only as a necessity to pay their bills.
Not everybody knows the career they want by the time they leave school. In fact, quite often, some of the most interesting people find out later in life where their purpose really lies. For me, I got my Diploma in psychology at the age of 30, and my degree at 40. Until then, I waded through life in a series of part-time or full-time jobs that paid the bills. But suffice to say, I did not enjoy life in the way I do now.
Careers should ideally have meaning, and I think people who enjoy life tend to enjoy what they do professionally, especially seeing as we spend so much of our time at work.
That said, it’s not easy for everybody to work their dream job, because it takes all jobs to make the world turn. And often it’s the less glamorous jobs that are most important, as the COVID pandemic showed us. But tapping into that significance, even if it’s not what you’d ultimately prefer to be doing, is often what separates those who enjoy their lives from those who just endure it.
4. They see and treat relationships as investments, not transactions.
This goes for any relationship, by the way, not just the romantic kind. To view someone who means a great deal to you as a worthwhile investment of your time, rather than someone you just exchange texts with for the sake of it, is evidence that there is a lot of joy in your life.
Ultimately, in the grand scheme of things, we’re all here for a short time, and so we may as well make it count. I’ll hold my hands up and say I don’t have many friends, but the ones I choose to have, I am incredibly close with. I don’t want loads of people to have a surface relationship with simply for the sake of it, and I don’t have the emotional or mental bandwidth to be best friends with twenty people.
I choose where my energy goes, and I choose to make them friends for life. I value them as much as they value me, and that’s all I can ask for as an ingredient to an enriched life.
5. They make time to have fun, particularly when life is hard.
There’s no enjoyment without joy! I know I sound like one of those summer camp leaders on the first day of enrollment, but it’s true. When you make time for fun, it means fun is something you’re actively seeking out and prioritizing. And if joy crosses your path when you least expect it, you’ll still invite it in.
When life gets a little heavy, I must admit that I don’t look for fun as frequently as I might if I were feeling good. I think that’s natural if you’re under stress, but even then, I will still be aware that the darkness will pass eventually, but that I won’t survive it if I don’t make my own kind of fun.
I grow vegetables, I burn a lot of incense, I silly dance in the kitchen to country music, and I even write to my pen pal (good, old-fashioned snail mail!) My fun might not be your idea of fun, but that’s what makes us all unique.
People who truly enjoy their lives go out of their way to find and include fun in their days, rather than assume it can’t exist.
6. They’re okay with not being perfect.
Perfection is overrated (said no perfectionist ever). But it’s true.
Those who are lucky enough will have always been aware of this, but for some, that kind of attitude comes with age and wisdom. For me, I hit 40 and suddenly didn’t care. Honestly, it felt like a switch. Like I suddenly had permission to stop letting the little things niggle at me.
Others constantly view life as one long opportunity to prove perfection. “I must have the perfect job, house, partner, child, income.” To go further, “I must act perfectly. I must comply. I must just keep going without breaking.”
What does all that achieve, aside from a very tired, fed-up person chasing their tail? Honestly, I’m shattered just writing it.
Let go, drop those shoulders, admit that life isn’t perfect, and neither are we. Because those who do really love life far more than those who strive for the impossible.
7. They remain curious about what life has to offer.
How many of us can really say we’re open to what life has to offer? When opportunities come your way, do you go for it? Do you believe you’ve got what it takes to try? Do you scoff and roll your eyes and say, “Nah, I’m good, thanks.”?
Being curious means you’re open to new experiences. You want to grow, and you see curiosity as a door to help you. It’s something that comes naturally to children, but it can get harder as we get older and our beliefs and mindsets calcify.
Remaining curious is key. No matter your age or circumstance, your ability to keep that desire alive is what keeps you alive.
There’s a level of closed-mindedness around those who just endure life. They don’t really care about being open to possibilities. They just carry on as is, because why bother trying something different? They’ve already made up their mind about it.
I’d say that was a pretty huge separation, wouldn’t you?
Final thoughts…
Here’s a little advice from a girl who has probably too many regrets to count:
Take chances to add joy to your life.
When you see everything you do as a gift rather than a curse you’ve been tied to, you’ll see life completely differently. You don’t have to travel the world and learn seven languages to enjoy life, but life really is what you make it.
We all wake up to the same sun. We all open our eyes every morning and are given 24 more hours to make it count.
Are you going to make it count today?
