To be called an old soul, I think, is a compliment. It doesn’t mean someone thinks you need a walking aid, or that you’ve started to grow more grey hairs than you’d like (or in places you really don’t like).
Instead, it means a person holds the kinds of characteristics that travel far beyond their physical years.
Some people like to describe old souls as having been here before and having lived many lifetimes, but I appreciate that not everybody believes in reincarnation.
So instead, let’s focus on how it shows a person truly values and has a unique perspective on life, and how it can feel as though they’ve learned the lessons of 12 lifetimes in one go.
So, what is the anatomy of an old soul? These 9 traits are a great place to find that answer, and maybe even find yourself…
1. Understanding that patience and calmness trump in difficult situations (and applying that knowledge).
There’s a healthy dose of wisdom within anybody who can be patient and calm when times are hard or precarious. I’d certainly like to be wiser during such times!
When you can choose to pause, breathe, and think before you act during moments where you could easily yell, scream, and shout like a toddler who wasn’t allowed a Jelly Cat, I think that’s a real sign you’re on track to possess the traits of an old soul.
It makes me think, “How have you learned this? How have you mastered this when so many of us can’t seem to not get mad and make a lot of noise?”
Maybe it’s through experience and growing through what you’ve endured, but it can also be as straightforward as doing the work to learn the skill of emotion regulation.
Either way, to be the light in your own storm is very wise indeed.
2. Feeling as if you don’t fit into a modern type of society.
A fast-moving, modern society isn’t usually the most ideal or comfortable place to be for an old soul.
I’d say it essentially means being in a near-permanent state of inner-outer conflict. In this instance, being in a society that doesn’t fit with your beliefs or preferences.
The desire to be in a slower, simpler, quieter world with genuine connections doesn’t really work in a world that moves so fast and is becoming more and more materialistic by the day, and the old soul’s brain has to work hard to try to get everything to balance out.
That’s why those described as an old soul so commonly feel that disconnect with the world around them, and the people inhabiting it.
3. Age doesn’t have a number, with old souls often feeling older than their years.
What does age really mean? Is it how many trips around the sun we’ve had? I’d say that was a pretty accurate way of describing it, and it really is that basic.
Age really has nothing to do with maturity, intelligence, kindness, or wisdom.
You can be 100 and totally lacking in maturity and wisdom, and you can be 5 and be abundant with it.
A few people have described my son as having an old soul and having ‘been here before,’ as he has always been so diplomatic and emotionally aware, even as a young child.
Nothing ever really passes him by, and he never really bought into the whole Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy thing. He wasn’t critical of it; he just always assumed these figures were stories without even being told they were.
I can only attribute that to an inner wisdom and maturity that I had no part in applying (because Santa is real, right?).
4. Deep conversations are craved (and shallow, small talk is most definitely not).
Here is one trait of an old soul that I can fiercely relate to. I feel so uncomfortable making small talk with people, and that has nothing to do with who they are, but more that I just want to dig deep and get to the good stuff.
I love to talk about why we’re all here, and where we go after, because I don’t necessarily think we’re born and then just die some time later.
I want to believe in a purpose, so I naturally gravitate toward people and conversations that explore it. I often philosophize a lot about how complex our minds and bodies are, and how they outsmart everything that has ever been made by human hands.
If I find someone who wants to ponder this kind of stuff with me, I’m all in!
5. Solitude is celebrated as recharging time.
How do you feel when you’re alone? While some may feel inclined to overthink when in solitude, an old soul will sink rather nicely into their alone time, and view it as a period of time to recharge and relax.
Think of us all as mobile phones, with battery lives that have run down to 12%. You either panic that your battery is low, and spend the remaining energy frantically worrying about how low it is and how you’ll charge it, or you stick a charger in and leave it until it’s fully charged.
An old soul is the person who charges.
Solitude is where an old soul goes to reclaim a little bit of inner peace. That dedicated space is crucial for their well-being, and they do not feel isolated while there.
If we could all be wise enough to learn to utilize the benefits of alone time as an old soul does, we’d all be a lot better for it.
6. Wisdom that comes with great advice.
It stands to reason that wise people make wise choices, and they know exactly when to share that wisdom.
A lot of people think they have great advice and are very eager to share it with anyone who will listen, but an old soul knows when to give advice and when to stay quiet.
When you live as though you’ve lived a hundred times before, you learn when and what to share.
What’s more, an old soul will speak with your best interests at heart. They won’t necessarily tell you what you want to hear, but instead will give the kind of advice that is actually helpful, even if it stings a little.
That said, they know that they can’t know everything, and as such, they are just as willing and able to sit back and take on board advice from others, with a side helping of wise discernment, of course.
7. A natural interest in philosophy, spirituality and history (which probably goes without saying).
While most of us look for some kind of meaning in life, an old soul will take it to much deeper levels, with a gravitational pull toward all things philosophical, spiritual and historical.
There aren’t specifics involved here as these topics are so broad, but for them, there is much joy and wonder to be found by taking an interest in the timeless.
Old souls tend to want to search for truths. They want to really delve into why we’re here, but they understand that the journey to finding the answer will only lead to more questions.
That’s just fine with them, because questioning everything is ultimately what drives them.
The past often feels like something an old soul is connected to, whether that’s through a literal belief in past lives, or simply through a deep affinity to the older ways rather than modern fads. For me, the Tudor period holds a particular fascination.
An old soul has that gnawing sense that there is ‘more to life ’, which makes them someone who reflects on the wonders of the world much more than the average person would.
8. The understanding that life’s lessons are for learning, not complaining or resisting.
Imagine going through life like it was one big lesson, instead of feeling like you meet (and resist) hardship after hardship. That’s what old souls tend to do, viewing resistance as a block to true growth.
I’ve been known to fight the natural course of my life a fair few times, and you know what I found? I found the same things kept happening to me.
Like the old quote says, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
It’s pointless, isn’t it? Yet there are still those who spend their lives fighting their mistakes or fighting change, and consequently never getting anywhere.
Old souls tend not to do that. Their wisdom means they accept whatever circumstance they’re in and decide what it’s trying to teach them about their next steps forward.
9. They always value being authentic over fitting in.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. Never a truer word spoken than from the great Oscar Wilde.
Fitting in is overrated, and old souls are acutely aware of this. They value wanting to be real, and don’t have anything to prove or show the world.
You won’t find them trying to people-please their way into fitting in because they see no point in being like everyone else. They have learned over their lifetime (perhaps multiple) that their purpose isn’t to blend in, nor to stand out, but just to be authentic.
If they can do that, then the right people and situations will come to them with an unexplainable magnetic force. And the added bonus is that the wrong people will be repelled.
Final thoughts…
Where do you see yourself in all of this? Have you always thought there was more to life than just your current existence, and have you felt an affinity for a past that you can’t remember being a part of?
Being a wise old soul is a characteristic that many might wish to hold, but that not many actually do. But still, many of the wonderful traits of an old soul can be developed, even if they don’t come naturally.
Me? I feel like I’m somewhere in between, so I am going to officially invent a new term – a middle-aged soul – and I hope some of you can join me there!
