Even the brightest and most creative individuals have personal crises now and then. Just like the rest of us, they can have “dark night of the soul” moments that bring intense self-doubt, insecurity, and fear.
When these moments arise, it can be tempting to give in to behaviors or thoughts that have the potential to be self-damaging. Yet people who truly believe in their own potential resist this temptation, as they know that to do so would be counterproductive.
The following are behaviors they will rarely ever partake in, even when things seem bleakest. And crucially, by avoiding them, they increase their chances of success as a result:
7 things people rarely do when they believe in themselves, even when times get tough:
1. Trash-talk themselves.
People who believe in their own potential treat themselves like treasured friends or children. They’re rarely cruel to themselves, nor do they sling abuse at the person they see in the mirror.
These individuals know how damaging unkind behavior can be, and they refuse to hurl such cruelty at themselves, even in moments of frustration.
Whereas others might tell themselves that they’re stupid, useless, or incompetent, these individuals recognize their own frustration and work through it with self-compassion instead.
They reassure themselves that setbacks are not complete failures, and that they are not defined by temporary shortcomings. And they are more likely to try again and succeed as a result.
2. Make excuses for their behavior.
Personal accountability is a hallmark of integrity. As such, people who accept their shortcomings and do what they can to amend them show themselves to have immense personal character.
Furthermore, even more importantly than admitting mistakes to others is admitting mistakes to ourselves.
It’s very easy to find excuses and justifications for one’s own wrongdoings, namely blaming behaviors and outcomes on other people’s actions. However, people who believe in their own potential know that personal growth only happens by accepting one’s own role in various situations.
They hold themselves accountable for the actions that caused whatever outcome they’re now dealing with, both publicly and privately, and that allows them to learn from their mistakes, giving them a better shot at success next time around.
3. Indulge naysayers.
Many people — myself included — have come across immense resistance from others when we’ve expressed interest or initiative in pursuing something that’s important to us.
People may try to tell us that we’re ridiculous for wanting to follow this path, try to convince us not to do it, and even actively sabotage our initiatives.
But when we believe in ourselves, we simply don’t tolerate that nonsense. In fact, we tend to excise naysayers and abusers from our lives the same way surgeons remove cancers that are damaging and destroying people’s bodies.
I had countless people try to convince me not to pursue the traditional skills I trained in, such as blacksmithing, permaculture farming, and stonemasonry. Their reasoning was that we aren’t pioneers anymore, and people should focus on things like IT or UX design.
Yet the skills I chose proved invaluable to me on countless occasions, from employment opportunities to day-to-day living on our rural homestead. And most importantly, they are things that I love.
4. Wait for other people’s permission to pursue a goal.
A person who doesn’t believe in their own potential will likely turn to everyone around them for input and advice about whether to follow a goal or not.
They’ll ask friends and family members for their opinions, post on forums like Reddit to get strangers’ advice, and won’t move forward with their plans until they feel like they’ve been granted “permission” to go ahead with them.
This is completely different from someone who trusts in themselves and has faith not only in their own potential, but in their dedication to pursue their goal to the best of their ability.
They don’t need external validation, nor do they need anyone else’s go-ahead. They make the choices and decisions in their own life. End of.
5. Allow competition to turn into defeatism.
Someone who feels confident about their own potential knows full well that just because a person’s idea, invention, or interest is similar to what someone else is doing, that doesn’t mean that they should abandon their pursuit.
They understand that there’s more than enough room for variation, so they can adapt their plans in a way that sets them apart from what others are doing.
After all, there’s more than one streaming service for films and TV shows online, and people in just about every city have numerous choices of pizza, chicken, and sushi restaurants, as well as niche bookstores, coffee shops, and so on.
There really aren’t many completely new ideas in the world, but there are countless variations that can be explored.
6. Get completely lost in the problem.
You’ll often notice that some people complain endlessly about the impossible nature of their perceived obstacle, while the sad reality is that they simply haven’t seen the easy fix that’s available for it.
A lot of the time, this supposedly insurmountable problem has a very straightforward answer, but one can get so lost in self-defeat that they don’t take a step back from the problem to find resolution.
In contrast, those who believe in their own potential are determined to find the light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how frustrating the way forward may be.
Sure, they may feel a bit bamboozled and frustrated by the obstacles in front of them, but they also see it as a fun personal challenge to try and surmount them.
7. Divulge their plans (or feelings about their plans) outside of their inner circle.
A word spoken cannot be caught by the swiftest horses. As such, if a person is having a moment of doubt about their plans or their abilities — even briefly — they won’t express those fears outside of anyone who has earned their trust.
They know what can happen when you share your doubts with the wrong people, and rather than relying on others for reassurance, they’ve learned how to validate themselves.
When they feel pangs of self-doubt, they often journal about them, engage in guided self-reflection, go for walks, talk to their dog, or find some other way to work through them on their own.
In the same way that people who believe in their own potential refrain from talking to people about their insecurities, they rarely share their plans and aspirations with others, either.
In fact, the people in their lives generally learn about what they’ve done or achieved after it’s happened.
Many individuals have learned the hard lesson that when they share their ideas with others, those ideas will end up getting stolen. This is particularly true if those ideas are quite innovative and have the potential to earn a great deal of money.
Basically, if you have a great plan or project that could be incredibly lucrative, and you believe you can make it happen, keep it to yourself.
Final thoughts…
Some people try to put down those who believe in themselves in order to cut them down and plant the seed of self-doubt.
They’ll try to find the holes in their aspirations as well as the gaps in the armor of their self-esteem, and essentially attempt to “take them down a peg” so they don’t feel as bad about their own lack of initiative.
It’s for all of these reasons that the individuals who believe in themselves refuse to partake in the things mentioned here. That way, they can protect their own interests and pursue their dreams on their own terms. Always.
