Life is meant to be experienced and enjoyed. Of course, we don’t always have that option right in front of us.
There is always something else that needs to be done, some looming responsibility on the horizon. The endless treadmill that is laundry and dishes. Not to mention responsibilities you might have for work or a family.
It can feel like striking the right balance between enjoying life and your responsibilities is impossible, but it’s not. Here’s how you do it.
7 ways to strike a balance between enjoying life and being a responsible adult:
1. Schedule rest, relaxation, and entertainment on your calendar.
A person always has time for that which they prioritize. If someone doesn’t have time to do a thing, it means they don’t care enough about it to make it a priority.
A busy person needs to treat their rest, relaxation, and entertainment as the highest priority – not the lowest. How often do we bump things that we want to do aside because of another responsibility that comes up?
The problem is that there is always going to be another responsibility. There is always going to be something else that you need to be doing. That’s just the way a busy life works.
Find some time in the week to schedule something for you, whether it’s just relaxing quietly and engaging in some self-care or going to do something fun. Treat it as your highest priority.
Do not wait for free time. It’s unlikely to come. Put it on your calendar and respect it as the most important commitment you have.
2. Remember: you are replaceable no matter how hard you work, so use your paid time off.
I grew up in the kind of culture that valued hard work and not taking time off. My work role model was my father, who would go years without using paid time off.
I have to say – it’s not worth it.
It’s not worth burning your own mental and physical health to the ground when you have an option to take some time off.
Use your paid time off to take care of yourself, if you’re fortunate enough to have it. Take a mental health day if you need to so you can do something fun. Take a vacation if you’re able to. And if not, maybe a staycation where you just stay in and do nothing for a day or two.
Don’t buy into this notion that it’s your responsibility to break yourself down for your employer. They’ll replace you in a heartbeat.
3. Have a hobby that is not a side-hustle.
Hustle culture is one of the worst things that has come out of modern society.
It tells you that you always need to be looking for more money, always need to be improving, always need to be on the move. You have to be great at what you’re doing; otherwise, who is going to want to pay you for it?
But what about doing things just for fun?
Avoid turning hobbies into hustles. Allow yourself the freedom to not be great, or even good, at everything.
No one starts off great at anything, so “I’m not good at it” isn’t a good excuse not to try it out. It’s an excuse, certainly, but not a good one.
A hobby is just something you do because you enjoy it. You don’t have to be the best or even good at it. You can just do something you like doing for the sake of doing it.
4. Understand the difference between avoidance and pleasure.
There’s a big difference between binge-watching a show for six hours and watching a movie to relax.
One is escapism or avoidance, and the other is pleasure.
When you’re doing something for pleasure or relaxation, you give an appropriate amount of time to the activity, and it can be a healthy disruption to whatever stress you have in your life.
Unfortunately, busy people often make the mistake of thinking that any kind of relaxation is a waste of time. And it can be, when it’s taken to extremes. But just like most things, it’s good in moderate doses.
Even binge-watching a show can be okay in small doses. Maybe you have a day off and choose to sit down and re-watch your favorite show as a way to unwind. That’s not a problem if you aren’t doing it all the time and using it as a way to avoid life’s responsibilities.
If you’re keeping up with your urgent, non-negotiable responsibilities, then spend your time off however you like.
5. Learn when to say “no” instead of reflexively saying “yes”.
The word “no” is one of the most powerful tools to protect your peace and happiness.
If you are a people-pleaser, or someone who wants to be seen as reliable, you’ve probably agreed to do things that you didn’t really want to do.
You may have agreed to do something out of reflexive habit without realizing that you don’t actually have the time for it. Sometimes, you need to go back and say, “I’m sorry, but I can’t help after all.”
It’s ok to change your mind, particularly when you give someone fair warning.
The truth is that givers have to limit how much they’ll give, because takers have no limits. They will take everything that you offer and usually not think twice about it. And it’s not always malicious; a lot of people just think about themselves and their own problems first.
If you become the person that always says yes, you’re going to find that any free time you have completely disappears with other people’s work.
6. Embrace sustainability over perfection.
Not everything in your life needs to be perfect, and perfect is an unrealistic standard to hold yourself to. It’s just not necessary in more situations than you might imagine.
For example, a job that is done in a timely fashion can be good enough rather than perfect. As much as perfectionists don’t want to hear this, perfection is often not worth the time because perfection is all in the eye of the beholder.
As the saying goes, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach on the tree. But some people just don’t like peaches.”
You can work yourself to the bone, striving for perfection, but all of your effort may not be appreciated, noticed, or even liked.
Granted, there are certainly times when you want to make sure all of the details are in order. But there comes a point where effort doesn’t improve a project. It just makes it different. And different doesn’t necessarily mean better.
7. Include enjoyment as part of your definition of a successful life.
How do you actually view a successful life? Do you view it as hard work, earning money, paying bills, and keeping your nose to the grindstone?
If you do, you may find that you set aside the enjoyable parts in favor of the work. Instead, try thinking of enjoyment as part of a successful life. What’s the point if all we’re going to do is break rocks for a living?
Responsibility should not be the point of life. Instead, it should be something that is there to support your enjoyment of life.
Yes, we all have responsibilities that we need to tend to. However, consider how those responsibilities can help improve your enjoyment of life.
Maybe you can spend some leisure time with your family or set aside some money from work to travel. Just be sure to not fall into the trap of feeling like that time is a luxury you need to earn. It’s not.
Closing thoughts…
Responsibility can support the enjoyment of life. Life is not meant to be toiled away at the behest of an employer or buried under a mountain of duties.
You need to create time for yourself so that you have an opportunity to recharge, enjoy yourself, and get back out there all fresh and ready to go.
Prioritize your peace and happiness whenever you can. You’re the only one you can count on to watch out for yourself!
