There’s an old saying that “getting older ain’t for the weak.” And it’s true. There are many difficult things we have to face as we get older, and though I find myself only in middle age, I’ve already experienced some of them myself. Change is perhaps the biggest. It’s a hard thing to watch the world change around you in ways that you don’t necessarily have any input on.
I’m reminded of that every time I look off of my back porch. The backfield used to be encircled by a small strip of forest that obscured the houses behind. But the people that live there have cleared a lot of it out now. Instead of greenery, its houses, and it makes me miss what used to be.
But all things change. Accepting these truths will make the changes that come with aging much easier.
1. You cannot rely on “later.”
The earlier you can adopt this mentality, the easier so many things become and the happier you’ll be. We often decry a lack of time, too many things to do with too few hours in the day. However, many of us just waste a lot of time. We kick the can further down the road instead of dealing with the things that are right in front of us. But the best time to do anything is now.
At some point, you have to decide that the time is now and do whatever it is you want to do. Do you have goals you want to attain? Today is the best day to get started. The sooner you can accomplish that goal, the faster you can move on to something else.
Besides, some goals expire as you get older. You gain new responsibilities, suffer different setbacks, and then you have to find a way forward. And sometimes that means leaving unaccomplished goals in the past.
The best way to avoid that is to get started today.
2. You need to maintain relevance.
As I already mentioned, things will change whether you like it or not. That’s just the way it is. Nothing is relevant forever. Relevance is something you have to actively maintain by staying interested and invested in the present. New things will come along, and you’ll be confronted with the choice to accept them and evolve, or be left behind.
That’s a hard choice because many of us have pleasant memories from the past. We have situations and relationships we want to preserve. There are things we loved from a technological or societal standpoint, but they will change. It’s best to adopt an air of curiosity. Instead of judging something as right or wrong, seek to understand it for yourself.
Don’t just take the word of a pundit or influencer about it. Experience it for yourself, and surround yourself with people who can help you maintain relevance by getting involved. Mentorship is a fantastic way to connect with younger people so you can learn from them, and they can learn from you.
3. Your habits will compound, not reset.
I wish I had formed better habits when I was younger. I know, I know. I should’ve listened to literally every older person who told me that my bad habits would catch up to me in the end. Unfortunately, I happen to be kind of stubborn, and it took me until middle age to start to realize that.
But, as I look ahead to the rest of my life, I now understand how important improving my habits can be. You are what you do. If you don’t live with intention and make the effort to develop good habits, then you’ll just carry the negative ones into old age.
It’s a hard change because it’s not just about developing good habits. You also have to unmake all of the bad habits and deal with the repercussions of those bad habits. It’s a lot to navigate all at once, particularly as you have less and less time to make the changes that you want.
4. You will lose people.
That friend circle you have today may not be there tomorrow. The people you cherish today could easily be strangers tomorrow. Decisions are made, actions are taken, and sometimes people need to go in different directions. Relationships can come and go, flourishing for a while and then wilting away like so many petals of a dying flower.
Then, there is the ultimate loss, that of death. We all have to go sometime. Unfortunately, it will be sooner rather than later for some. That kind of loss is hard to deal with, hard to accept. But, as Viktor Frankl once wrote, “We are often faced with the challenge to change ourselves in the face of circumstances we can’t change.”
It’s easier to let go when you can accept the rhythm of life. Celebrate it while it’s here, love it as it goes, as part of the eternal cycle that we all face.
5. Your body will change.
As young people, we’re often rewarded for the effort that we put in. However, as you get older, your body needs more time for effective recovery. In your 20s, you can bounce back from quite a bit when you put your body through abuse. That doesn’t last forever because your body changes as you get older. Not only that, but that abuse is something that you may eventually pay for later.
In my case, I spent my 20s working hard labor like unloading trailers and construction. In my middle age, I pay for it every day with a messed-up back and shoulder, with stiffness and errant pain that comes and goes because of the abuse I put my body through. When I exercise or do hard labor now, I have to take more time to recover to account not just for my age, but for past injuries.
Trying to force yourself to do the things you were able to do while younger will get you injured. Injury at an older age is likely to take longer to heal from. Recovery becomes so much more important than rolling out of bed, slamming an energy drink, and heading back out before dawn.
6. You will change whether you like it or not.
Aging is a forced transformation. You will not be the same person you were ten years ago. That’s just not a reasonable expectation. Fighting it will only make it harder and make you feel worse about yourself. Instead of fighting it, it’s a far better strategy to lean into it so you can guide the direction that you want to go.
You will have new opinions, beliefs, and experiences that all shape how you live. Clinging to the past will only keep you locked in misery and depression as the world moves forward without you. That doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice every little bit of who you are or want to be. It just means that there are times when letting go makes more sense than holding tightly to something that is no more.
Closing thoughts…
Aging can create a sense of stagnation in people who refuse to change.
For better or worse, change will come. Maybe it’ll come in the form of aching joints, social changes, or a backfield that’s no longer lush and green. Whatever the case may be, to not accept it will only cause you to stagnate, and feed depression and unhappiness.
That doesn’t need to be the case. Instead, you can become a proactive participant in your life and aging. That way, you can guide yourself in a direction you want to head, instead of just suffering the challenges of time.
