If there’s one thing everyone could use more of these days, it’s inner peace. With everything going on in the world, there are very few people who aren’t dealing with a great deal of stress and turmoil.
This can wreak havoc on your health and interfere with your day-to-day existence.
That’s where Stoicism comes in. Stoicism offers both guidance and practical techniques that can help you finally feel at peace in your life, regardless of what may be unfolding all around you.
The micro-practices mentioned here may be simple, but the effects are anything but.
1. Turn “what if” into “what is.”
Of all the times that you have envisioned potential problem scenarios, how many of them have actually come to pass the way you imagined that they would? In fact, how many of them manifested at all, for that matter?
Probably very few of them, if any at all.
One of the best and most beneficial Stoic micro-practices that work effectively in situations where you’re prone to catastrophizing or anxious thought spirals is to turn “what if” into “what is”.
Every time you find yourself looping or spiraling because of an imagined difficulty, redirect your focus by making a list of the things you can control and the things you cannot. Then place your focus entirely on the “can” list, and let go of the “can’t” side of things.
2. Look at your frustrations from the outside in.
We tend to have emotional reactions to things when we attach judgments and narratives to them, especially if they’re going against our wants at the moment.
A good way to counteract this is to envision your consciousness withdrawing to about 100 feet above whatever is going on (assuming you’re able to visualize). If you can’t visualize, you can do this exercise with a pen and paper.
Imagine you’re a higher being who’s acting as an impartial observer, and see what is unfolding without personal investment or a judgmental perspective.
For example, are you irritated about someone’s opinion because you find it offensive? Well, as an impartial observer, you can see that’s just a flawed human being whose anger-fueled thoughts have zero impact on you.
Is your neighbor irritating you because they’re using loud machinery at home on the weekend? That’s just a person who’s simply living their life and fixing part of their house, with zero intention of causing you distress.
Removing personal investment from what you experience usually significantly eliminates your irritation about it.
3. Embrace Amor Fati.
In modern Stoic communities, there’s an approach that has become widely embraced, known as Amor Fati, which translates to “the love of fate.”
It aligns closely with Stoic thoughts on acceptance, that is, actively embracing whatever unfolds in your life, even if it appears to be less than ideal, because everything you experience — both “positive” and “negative” — is a part of your life’s journey.
The Stoics believed that everything that happens to us offers an opportunity to practice virtue and build wisdom, whether the experience appears favorable or not.
As such, whenever I find myself in a situation that I’m really not fond of, I set aside the emotional reaction and focus on what I can learn from the experience. Is this an opportunity for me to get out of my own way? Determine the intentions behind my actions? Find a new way to navigate an unfamiliar challenge?
By drawing back and examining the growth vector analytically, negative feelings about the situation give way to curiosity, rather than an assumed bias about whether it’s “good” or “bad.”
“Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that what happens happen the way it happens: then you will be happy” – Epictetus.
4. Focus on what you can control, and let go of the rest.
In Stoicism, emphasis is placed on acknowledging all the things you are able to control, and letting go of whatever you can’t.
Essentially, the idea is to not waste time, energy, or emotion on things that will forever be beyond your ability to influence. Things like world events, other people’s choices, or how certain situations ultimately unfold.
We may not have the direct power to change our life circumstances or the woes of the world, but we have the willpower to determine what moves us. Those who fully embrace Stoicism understand that the world itself could fall upon us, and it would simply break upon our calm, unflinching mind.
Acknowledge that what you can control revolves entirely around your internal world: your thoughts, your beliefs, the actions you choose to take, your integrity, and your reactions to various situations.
Recognize that you have zero influence over anything other than those things, so there is no need to spend any energy worrying about them or fixating upon them.
They will play out exactly as they will (and usually quite differently than you’d expect). Then, and only then, can you choose how to react to things as they unfold.
5. Recognize that the only thing you have the power to influence is the present moment.
Many people lie awake at night agonizing over cringe-worthy things that happened in the past. Things that haunt them for one reason or another.
But in the same way that the future isn’t written yet and should only be dealt with as it reveals itself, the past is gone and cannot be altered.
All you ever own, all you ever have to work with, is the present moment.
Work with what is going on here and now, and do your best not to allow your mind’s eye to turn towards either the past or the future.
There is nothing before you yet, and nothing behind you that you can influence. Right here and now, you can govern your own thoughts and actions, and that is all.
6. Remind yourself that the only power a person or situation has over you is what you allow them to have.
Epictetus — one of the most influential teachers of Stoicism — was born into slavery. One story that has been passed down in history is that his “owner,” a man named Epaphroditus, was terribly abusive towards him. One day, Epaphroditus cruelly twisted the young man’s leg. Epictetus warned him that if he kept doing that, his leg would break… which it eventually did.
His response to that was to simply ask: “Did I not tell you that it would break if you continued?”
The message that this story carries is that Epictetus had no power over whether his leg was broken or not, but he did have power over his own thoughts and reactions.
Epictetus taught us that we are not our bodies: they are simply the vehicles we ride around in as we navigate our way through the world. His message was that a person could break (or even sever) his leg, but not even the gods themselves could overpower his thoughts or his will.
7. Meditate upon death to eliminate any fear of taking action.
A concept explored that’s throughout Stoic writing, including in Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations, is the idea that people contemplate the idea that they are already dead. That is, to envision that they have lived their life, and now it is over. It’s done.
As such, when they wake up the next morning, they have an amazing gift of time and energy that they can now use without fear.
After all, what’s there to be afraid of when you’re already dead?
Consider the question of what you would do if you only had X amount of time to live. Whatever comes to mind should be your priority, wherever possible.
8. Spend time in stillness.
Our focus is constantly jolted over the course of the day, startled out of concentration or calm by intrusive sounds, visuals, and demands.
Each interruption has a similar effect on your nervous system as a potential threat, and the cumulative effect of all of them can make you easily irritated or reactive.
As such, try to spend time in stillness on a regular basis. Daily is ideal, but it may not be feasible depending on how busy your life is.
Put all screens away, turn off anything that’s making intrusive sounds (including music), and allow the stillness to reset your nervous system.
You may feel uncomfortable at first, but fight the urge to dispel this discomfort by reaching for your phone or making other sounds. Instead, let the silence wash over you, relaxing all of your limbs, your eyes, the tension in your jaw, and so on.
9. Take time every evening to reflect upon what unfolded that day.
Evenings grant you a perfect opportunity to sit down and think about everything that has unfolded over the course of the day.
If you like journaling, you can record some notes and thoughts about your observations and how you feel about them. For example:
- What areas made you feel accomplished, or like you handled them well?
- How would you have approached things differently?
- Were there opportunities in which you chose kindness over irritation?
Go over everything without being judgmental of yourself: simply recognize where there may be opportunities for personal growth, or if you would handle things differently if they unfolded similarly in the future.
Final thoughts…
A great deal of people’s malaise stems from their attempts to manage things that are entirely beyond their control.
These feelings can make a person feel despondent and helpless, which can affect every aspect of their lives.
By adopting these Stoic micro-practices, you can let go of judgment and fear and focus solely on the things that are within your power to control.
When you realize that you don’t have to carry everything on your own shoulders, your anxiety should give way to significantly more peace.
