Enough. It’s a word we’re all so familiar with, yet do we use it to describe our lives?
We seem to know when we’ve had enough of something, so the meaning of it isn’t lost on us entirely. “I’m full up, I can’t eat another bite.” “I cannot watch another episode tonight – I need to go to bed.” “I’m done with your bad moods.”
You’ve had enough.
But what about when it comes to our lives? What about the bigger picture? Can we use that same word and apply it?
I’d like to think so, but just in case you needed that extra boost, here are 7 ways to help you recognize that what you already have is, in fact, a life of abundance.
1. Understand that stability is actually a form of luxury.
Do you know how many people would love to wake up being able to mostly predict their day ahead in terms of what their life consisted of?
I don’t mean you should live out the exact same routine every day and that everything is entirely predictable (unless that’s how you like it, of course); I mean you stop defining what is good by the things you own, and start defining it based on how stable your life, and everything in it, is.
This world is arguably more unsettled than I’ve ever known it to be (or maybe we just hear about it more because we’re fed news 24/7). Either way, stability has become the thing to fight for.
It starts with us, and if you can move at your own pace and sink into a stable routine that suits you, then I actually think you’re winning far more than you realize.
2. Realize that you have more than the past you thought was imaginable.
I’ve always loved writing. I found it to be the ultimate form of solace during years of living in a fractured home.
As an adult, I never really let that passion go, even though my working life took me in other directions. Those jobs never really felt right, and I always felt as though I had so much creativity to offer, but never the courage to explore it.
Now I’m at a stage where I could reflect on that person and tell them, “Look what I did!” I never imagined I’d be writing the way I do, yet that passion and urge was always there.
I have evolved beyond what past me thought was possible. I am enough. This is enough. I’m beyond lucky, and I couldn’t ask for more.
That’s the thing with achieving your goals, outgrowing an old version of yourself, or overcoming adversity: yes, you could still have more, but you can either remain hungry and always a little dissatisfied, or you can take stock of what you do have and know that you got yourself there.
3. Appreciate what’s normal for you is a dream for someone else.
You finish work, get into your car, drive home, turn the key in the front door, and walk into a cozy, warm house. The smell of lasagna fills the air, and you jump in a warm shower until it’s ready in the oven.
Ah, bliss.
It’s a normal day for you. There’s nothing extraordinary about it; in fact, it could have gone a little smoother, but now this is your time to relax, and you’re going to make the most of it.
Do you think this is normal for everyone? You have a warm space and good food, and a job that can pay for it all, plus your car.
Now, of course, that’s not to say you should dismiss or minimize your own problems just because other people have it worse. We all have pain, and that pain is absolutely valid. But sometimes we get so bogged down in that pain that we forget to see all the small things we take for granted.
Sometimes when I’m thirsty and I go to fill my glass up with water from the tap, I’ll remind myself that many people don’t even get the privilege of having access to clean water. It’s just a few moments for me where I think, “I truly appreciate this glass of water that I just walked into my kitchen to get.”
That can be all it takes to realize that no matter how hard your life is, it is also plentiful in the smallest of ways.
4. Savor the moments of peace you have.
I love waking up around 5 am every morning. I come downstairs, no matter the time of year, and push my windows open. I always start work soon after, and I do so in the kind of peace that the rest of the day never really offers.
People wake up, go to work, the cars go by. The world gets busier, but for those initial few hours, they’re mine, and I love them.
I often wonder how many other people allow themselves to sit and savor a moment of peace every day, and I suspect it’s far fewer than should. For me, that peace brings calm, and it does set me up for whatever the day brings.
What’s more, those moments act as a mirror. When you savor that peace, even briefly, it has a way of showing you that right now, in this moment, nothing is missing. You’re not rushing toward something or running from something. You simply are. And that’s enough.
Of course, savoring peace is harder for some than others, but I ask you: do you have a little fragment of peace that you can lean into?
5. Remember that enough is not something you ever arrive at.
As the saying goes: happiness is a journey, not a destination.
I’ve heard that a lot over my nearly 43 years here on earth, but the older I get, the more it makes sense.
Life is never about being miserable until you reach your goals; it’s about the satisfaction of knowing you’re able to chase them.
We find things, we meet people, we learn about ourselves along that way, so by the time we get to where we want, we’re already happy.
I got my degree in Creative Writing a few years back. At the time, I thought it’d only be once I’d got the degree that I’d be happy, but actually the units I studied were incredible (namely philosophy), and I realized I loved something I never thought I’d cross paths with. Who knew?!
And that’s my point.
Let life surprise you, rather than holding out for some end goal of ‘enough.’ Engage with the present moment more, and you’ll realize you’re already swimming in ‘enough.’
6. Know that surviving is its own kind of enough.
One of the symptoms of living in survival mode is feeling detached and as if nothing matters, so it’s no wonder people who are stuck there struggle to think they are, or have, enough.
There’s a difference between being ungrateful and being unable to know or feel gratitude, and that’s where survival mode comes in.
It’s essentially a response to long-term stress, where your body is left switched on, even though you just want to breathe and feel okay. It can come from experiences we have that were traumatic, or even from constant, low-lying stress that we endure.
What if you took stock of everything you are, everything you are going through, or have been through? What if you saw your survival of survival mode itself as an achievement to be proud of? What if you cut yourself some slack? What if you focused on doing just one small thing every day rather than some seemingly impossible end goal?
Whatever you are working with right now, you are enough. You are surviving.
7. Replace comparison with contentment.
“Sarah’s got so much money. I wish I could go on five vacations a year like she does.” “Why is it that everyone else is happily in love except me?”
I guarantee for every comparison you make, there’s someone out there comparing their life to yours in the same way. While that may not necessarily be helpful either, it goes to show that we all have the ability to be discontent with our lives.
Is it justified? I don’t go on five vacations a year (although I’d be happy to), but I have things other people would chop their arms off for. It’s all relative. Someone will always have more or less than you, so comparison with others really is futile.
The only comparison that’s actually worth doing is the one you do with a past version of yourself. Be that last year, yesterday, or 5 minutes ago.
Be content with who you are on your terms, not on someone else’s, and you’ll find you live a much more fulfilling life.
Final thoughts…
I loved giving the word ‘enough’ a new frame to sit in. We’re all so busy wanting to be enough for ourselves and the people around us that we forget, in so many ways, we are already there.
Explore your own life and decide where you already have enough. It’s in those pauses and glances that we can appreciate we’ve come a long way from the person we perhaps once were, or that what we have is already more than enough.
