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A husband who doesn’t think he can be wrong puts a tremendous emotional weight on your shoulders.
By not being able to admit he’s wrong, he’s forcing you to do his share of the relationship’s load of emotional labor.
In many cases, this type of behavior ventures into emotional abuse because it neglects and denies your emotional health.
A man who cannot entertain the idea that he could be wrong may belittle, mock, or straight up ignore times in which he is wrong. Some may try to exert total control in an unbalanced relationship. Others will just try to exert control over a small section of the relationship.
And when things don’t go right when it is his responsibility? Out comes the disrespect, name-calling, belittling, and ignorance.
What can you do about that?
1. Be very wary of suggestions you read on the internet.
Maybe you plugged the phrase, “my husband thinks he does nothing wrong” into a search engine and landed on this page. Maybe you landed on one of the other articles that are so eloquently penned to be empowering, remind you of your worth, and encourage you to take action!
It’s an interesting choice the writers of those many articles make, but they all tend to ignore a crucial caveat: your safety.
The type of behavior of a husband never thinking he’s wrong comes down to control, insecurity, and a lack of respect. It’s the kind of combination that can precede or be a part of domestic violence.
Way too many of these articles advocate taking sly, passive-aggressive approaches to turn arguments around, engaging in conflict that could quickly escalate if he feels he is losing control or his ego is bruised.
Think long and hard before you take any advice on the internet about a matter this delicate. Articles on the internet – even this one – cannot properly assess your individual situation, look for red flags you might not be aware of, and ensure your safety.
2. Seek professional perspective from a marriage or solo counselor.
This is the type of situation where professional support is vital for you to find your way through safely.
A good counselor will help you set boundaries, find the right ways to address the specific problems you’re experiencing, and alert you to red flag behavior that should not be ignored.
In an ideal world, your husband would want to work to solve the relationship’s problems, possibly with the help of a marriage counselor.
Don’t expect that to happen.
A man who doesn’t think he can do anything wrong will likely not want to attend any kind of counseling because it would require him to admit that he is wrong or doesn’t know something.
He may also tell you that he will go, attend for one appointment, and then bail out with an excuse of counseling, “Not being right for him.”
Make no mistake about it, one appointment is nowhere near enough to make that kind of judgment.
This is a common way for people to make it seem like they are invested in solving the problem without actually doing anything. You don’t necessarily need to argue about it, but do file that action away in your mind if that’s the way he behaves.
3. Set boundaries with the help of a professional.
People treat us how we allow them to treat us.
That does not mean that his behavior is your fault or your responsibility. It’s not.
It’s just that many people make excuses for their loved one’s bad behavior, overlook disrespect, don’t stand up for themselves, or don’t walk away from a situation where they are not being treated well.
People do that for many reasons. Sometimes they feel like they deserve it. Other times they feel like they are being unfair to their partner, or they simply don’t know how to address the issue. And still, love can blind us to a reality that we may not want to accept.
A set of healthy boundaries protects you. Boundaries ensure that you do not accept bad behavior or allow other people to disrespect you.
Chances are pretty good that if your husband doesn’t think he can do anything wrong that your boundaries may not be as healthy as you need them to be. That’s something you can improve and work on.
Some suggestions for boundaries to work on is not accepting disrespectful behavior, seeing people for exactly how they treat you, and how to handle the conflict that arises when you start enforcing your boundaries. A professional will be able to give more specific advice that you can follow.
If you’re a person who has a hard time with boundaries, you may have people close to you who take advantage of that. They may react with hostility once you start saying that enough is enough. Expect to lose friends; you probably will.
4. Start thinking about an exit plan for the situation.
An exit plan? Already? Yeah. And here’s why.
You can set boundaries, you can have dialogues, you can engage in whatever subtle, coy Machiavellian plots that relationship coaches are potentially endangering you with. Still, all of these things ignore one fundamental truth:
A man not accepting that he’s wrong points to a total lack of respect for who you are as a person, your emotions, and your perspective.
You can disagree on things and have different life perspectives while still being respectful of a partner. The fact that he can’t or won’t isn’t behavior that is in line with a man who loves and cares about you.
You shouldn’t have to convince your husband to respect you. That’s not a thing that should ever be happening in any loving relationship.
Can this issue be resolved without losing the relationship? Sure. If he admits that he’s wrong and he’s willing to work on it. Many things can be fixed if we have the humility to accept our shortcomings and are willing to improve. But if that were the case, you wouldn’t be reading this article right now, would you?
Have an exit plan before you start setting boundaries or taking action. That way, if he does respond with violence, you won’t be lost as to what to do or how to proceed.
Make your safety a priority. You just can’t know how some controlling men will respond when their control is threatened, but it’s usually not good.
Still not sure what to do about your husband’s behavior? Want some advice on what you should do and how to stay safe? Chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. Simply click here to chat.
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