Human connection is a powerful force. When we encounter those rare individuals who consistently bring out our best selves, they leave a lasting mark on our lives. These people may not even realize their profound impact, yet something about their presence makes us feel more capable, understood, and alive.
Their influence is rarely a result of grand gestures or formal techniques—it’s part of their very being, expressed through small moments and everyday interactions that create space for others to shine. Here are 9 qualities that make these people such positive influences in our lives.
1. They treat each person as a valuable human being with inherent worth.
These individuals approach everyone—from the CEO to the cleaning staff—with the same level of respect and attention. And why wouldn’t they? No one was born any better than anyone else, and where you end up in life is largely influenced by a big slice of chance. Starting with the place you were born and the family you were born into.
When someone sees this inherent worth, the difference is instantly felt by those around them. There are few things more powerful for positive self-development than being treated with dignity and respect.
This recognition of human value aligns with the fundamentals of humanistic psychology, particularly Carl Rogers’ concept of unconditional positive regard. This is the practice of accepting others without judgment, regardless of what they say or do. This acceptance doesn’t mean approving of all of their behaviors, but rather separating their actions from their core value.
Believing that everyone matters simply because they exist is a powerful force that can bring out the best in people, even in their worst moments.
2. They radiate genuine warmth that makes others feel instantly comfortable.
When someone sees the inherent worth in people, it follows that they’ll experience feelings of genuine goodwill toward them. And this shows in their behavior. They’re often those who smile or say hello to passersby, or stop to help someone in need. These small acts have a significant knock-on effect, brightening up the days of those they touch and spreading more positivity in turn.
When you’re with these people, you may find your shoulders relax and your guard comes down. You find yourself sharing your honest thoughts because something about their presence creates a genuinely safe space for openness and vulnerability.
3. They emphasize growth over perfection, and they demonstrate vulnerability rather than pretending to be perfect themselves.
By sharing their own struggles and mistakes, these individuals create a sense of permission for others to embrace their imperfections. Their openness removes the pressure on others to present a flawless facade.
When they tell stories about themselves, you’ll notice they include the fumbles along with the successes. They’ll say things like, “I completely misunderstood the situation at first,” or “It took me three attempts to get it right.” They’re not being self-deprecating; rather they’re just stating mistakes as a matter-of-fact part of life. Because they are.
The way they respond to their own errors in the moment has a huge impact on how others view mistakes—a lighthearted “Well, that didn’t go as planned!” instead of embarrassed justifications shows others that imperfection is par for the course.
And if someone makes a mistake in their presence, they don’t make a big deal out of it. They normalize it without trivializing it, keeping the focus on learning rather than judgment.
4. They model the behaviors they wish to see in others.
Without preaching, these individuals demonstrate the attitudes and actions they value. As the saying goes, “actions speak louder than words.”
And what’s more, they are consistent between their values and behaviors. When they talk about kindness, others have already witnessed them being kind. When they emphasize honesty, they’ve already shown themselves to be truthful.
In parenting circles, this approach aligns with what developmental psychologists call “modeling”—the understanding that children learn more from what parents do than what they say. Though crucial for a developing child, this principle extends to all relationships, not just parent-child dynamics.
5. They create psychological safety where people feel free to take risks.
Parents with this quality raise children who try new things without paralyzing fear of failure. As someone with a child who has selective mutism, a severe anxiety disorder that affects a person’s ability to speak in some situations, I personally know how crucial psychological safety is to growth and development.
When someone is calm, constructive, and compassionate, it teaches others that mistakes and calculated risks are not something to be feared and avoided at all costs.
The concept of psychological safety has been researched extensively by Harvard professor Amy Edmondson. She describes how the environments for optimal performance are those where people feel safe to take interpersonal risks without fear of punishment or humiliation. Natural nurturers who bring out the best in others seem to know how to create this safety instinctively.
6. They’re unguardedly enthusiastic about others’ interests and passions.
When someone shares their passion, no matter how quirky, these people respond with genuine curiosity rather than polite tolerance. They understand that people love what they love, and that whatever makes someone shine should be encouraged.
The questions they ask come from a place of actual interest rather than obligation, and their enthusiasm creates a safe space for others to love what they love without embarrassment. This encourages people to proudly continue with their authentic pursuits and to fully embrace their truest, best selves as a result.
7. They believe in the goodness and potential of other people, which makes others believe in themselves.
Because these people see the inherent worth in everyone, they can also see the potential they hold, simply because they exist.
Their faith in others isn’t blind optimism but a grounded belief that sees both their current reality and future possibilities. This belief encourages others to be more optimistic too, and as such, they work towards overcoming their present challenges and strive to reach their full potential.
The psychologist Carl Rogers described this as “prizing”—a fundamental attitude that communicates deep valuing of another person’s worth and capacity, regardless of their current actions. This prizing doesn’t depend on what someone is has already achieved but on their inherent human potential.
If you’ve ever accomplished something partly because someone believed you could, you’ve experienced this quality’s power. Their confidence in you becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Not through magical thinking but because their belief in you creates belief in yourself and provides the psychological safety we talked about that’s needed for growth and risk-taking.
8. They make others feel seen and understood, even if they haven’t shared the same experiences.
A lot of people think empathy is the ability to understand what someone has gone through. But the reality is, half the time you won’t have shared the same experience, and even if you have, you’re not them. You can’t possibly understand how or why they process things the way they do.
True empathy is accepting someone’s experience as real and valid, and being compassionate toward it, regardless of whether you can relate. And this is something that people who bring out the best in others do in spades.
They don’t say things like “I know exactly how you feel” when they clearly don’t, nor do they dismiss situations as “not that bad” or emotions as “overreacting”. Instead, they offer genuine validation and curiosity, saying things like, “I’ve never been through that, but I can hear how painful it was” or “That sounds really difficult—do you want to tell me more about it?”
They don’t need to share or even agree with someone’s perspective to honor it as that person’s authentic truth. This rare quality creates safety that allows others to express themselves fully without fear of being dismissed and invalidated.
9. They have a live-and-let-live attitude.
Without fanfare, people who bring out the best in others grant them the freedom to follow their own paths. Their absence of judgment creates space for authentic expression and personal growth. Sure, you might not be following the same path you would choose, but they don’t need to approve of every decision to respect your right to make it.
When differences do arise, these individuals keep an open mind and respond with curiosity, inviting you to share you’re your opinions rather than defend them.
As philosopher John Stuart Mill said, people should be free to act according to their own choices as long as they don’t harm others. The result of this acceptance has a significant impact: people feel free to be unapologetically themselves without fear of judgment or harm. Few things are more inspiring than that.
Final thoughts…
Those who bring out our best selves rarely do so through training or strategy. It’s usually just who they are. Yet recognizing these beautiful souls and their special traits helps us appreciate the gift these people bring to our lives and perhaps nurture similar qualities in ourselves.
We all have moments when we embody these characteristics, even if inconsistently. By noticing when others light up in our presence, we gain clues about which of these qualities we naturally express. With awareness and intention, we can cultivate more of these traits, not as performance but as an authentic expression of our care for others.
In doing so, we join the quiet revolution of those who help others thrive simply by being themselves, creating ripples of positivity that extend far beyond what we can see.
