Have you ever met someone and been instantly put off by the negative energy they were exuding? It doesn’t take long to clue into the fact that someone’s seriously creepy, but did you know that it’s just as easy to spot a sincerely good person? They may not broadcast their energy quite as fiercely as the unpleasant ones do, but there are distinct ways of determining whether the person you’ve just met has a radiant soul or an ashen one.
The traits listed below are some of the most common ones you’ll come across.
1. They treat others with respect and courtesy.
It doesn’t take long to tell whether someone’s a piece of work or not. For example, let’s say you’re on a coffee date with someone: how they behave towards the barista or server will speak volumes about the type of person they are. Do they say please and thank you? If the server makes a mistake, are they patient and understanding or demeaning and punitive?
Someone who treats others with respect and courtesy as second nature is usually a good person. Some may pretend to be courteous to win brownie points with others, so it’s important to watch how they behave when they think they aren’t being observed. Take note of the person who holds a door open for the next person without thinking about it, picks up something a stranger has dropped, and so on.
2. They ask about others instead of immediately talking about themselves.
Once again, this is a situation in which you’ll observe how this person treats those around them. For instance, if you’re talking with them in a group scenario and someone they know joins the discussion, this person will introduce them around and promptly ask how they’re doing, if their dad is out of the hospital, how their kid is enjoying their first year of college, etc.
Rather than telling everyone all about where they’re at and what they’ve been doing, they make a point of paying attention to what’s been going on in other people’s lives and inquiring about them. They remember important details and make it clear that they actually care about other people, rather than seeing them as sounding boards for their own interests and achievements.
3. They don’t instantly ask for your help with something (but they’re quick to offer you their help).
Good people tend to offer help before ever asking for it. For example, if you’ve just started talking to someone and mention you’re into a particular type of art or literature, they’ll be excited to offer you recommendations or lend you a book they know you’ll love.
In contrast, a less-than-good person will see what use you could be to them and then seek to take advantage of that. They’re used to seeing the people in their lives as means to attain their ends, rather than individuals to get to know. They might befriend you solely because you have a van and they need help moving, not because they want to get to know you as a person at all.
4. Animals love them.
My partner and I were walking on one of the paths near our place one day when a horse came running over to me. I had never met this horse before, but he insisted on nuzzling me thoroughly, and then walked alongside me as we continued on the path. Some neighbors who saw us asked if he was ours, and we laughingly explained that he and I had just met. We finally met up with his owner, who was shocked that he had behaved so well with me.
This isn’t a self-lauding post all about how amazingly radiant and great I am, but it gives you a solid idea about how animals behave around people they feel are decent and trustworthy. Watch how animals act around different people: do dogs and cats gravitate towards them for cuddles? Will birds and other wild creatures hang out near them? Animals clue into people’s energy very easily, and if they like to spend time with a human, that’ll tell you instantly that they’re a fairly good person all around.
5. They show generosity of spirit.
Whereas some people give gifts or do generous things for others for self-serving motives, genuinely good people show sincere altruism for its own sake — not for themselves. This generosity doesn’t need to be limited to objects either: it can include offering time, energy, and so on.
Watch for the person who puts away their book or their phone so they can give their full attention to a friend, a stranger, or a child who’s talking to them. Observe whether they serve other people food before they serve themselves, if they prioritize another’s wellbeing and happiness over their own, or if they literally give someone the clothes off their own body if they’re in need. I’ve seen strangers pull off their gloves or scarves to give to homeless people in wintertime and was immensely touched by those small gestures of sincere kindness.
6. You witness them behaving in a considerate and composed manner.
If they’re in a queue, for example, they’re quiet and patient rather than antsy and belligerent. Similarly, if they’re in a waiting room, they’ll be considerate towards others instead of huffing and complaining.
People who have a misplaced sense of entitlement will often make a scene in an attempt to get the better treatment they feel they deserve. In contrast, those who are kind and humble will understand that everyone around them is dealing with just as much difficulty as they are, and behave accordingly.
7. By the way they use humor.
Let’s say that within a minute or so of meeting a person, they manage to spill their coffee down the front of their shirt. How they respond to an awkward gaffe like this will tell you a great deal about what kind of person they are. For example, a good person will own the gaffe and make a comment like “I guess my chest really wanted to taste that macchiato” (or similar), whereas a less pleasant individual will curse and swear and try to blame the incident on someone else.
Similarly, take note of the kinds of jokes they tell. Do they share ridiculous-but-hilarious puns that don’t hurt anyone’s feelings, or bigoted, racist, sexist, or otherwise degrading humor at others’ expense? What they find amusing will speak volumes about what type of person they are.
Final thoughts…
When meeting new people, it’s always important to trust your instincts about them. Many of us have ignored the red flags that we’ve intuited about those we’ve met. We’ve assumed that we were making snap judgments and that these folks should be given the benefit of the doubt, only to realize in retrospect that we should have paid more attention to our gut instinct.
Keep an eye out for the traits listed here, and if they’re in agreement with your intuition about someone, you may have met a sincerely good person indeed.
