As frustrating and difficult as it can be at times, life really is a beautiful gift that allows us to enjoy an extraordinary number of things. Unfortunately, though, many of us end up squandering a great deal of our time with mindless distractions instead of making each moment count.
In contrast, those who try to fill their lives with as much authentic experience and expression as possible tend to put the following habits into practice on a daily basis. Adopting even a few of these practices can help you be much more present and live more fully in general.
1. Embracing discomfort instead of shying away from it.
To fully engage with life means embracing things that might make you uncomfortable instead of perpetually running away from them. Why? Because every challenging thing (or situation) that is pulled away from, instead of being engaged with, is another thing that you will not be able to learn and grow from.
Not all of our experiences are going to be pleasant, but the difficult, challenging ones tend to be those that provide us with excellent learning opportunities. They allow us to develop coping mechanisms and give us compassion and empathy for those who go through similar difficulties.
Furthermore, some of the greatest stories we look back on (and share with others) are those that we cultivated from difficult, weird, or embarrassing situations. To avoid those things might lead to a “safe,” quiet life, but not a fulfilling one.
To paraphrase Leo Buscaglia, the person who risks nothing may avoid suffering or sorrow, but they can’t learn, feel, change, grow, or love. Chained by certitude, they have forfeited their freedom.
2. Slowing down instead of rushing.
When I worked at a busy Toronto media agency, my days were a blur of incredible stress and high pressure. Everything ran at lightning speed, and many of my colleagues worked through their breaks and lunch hours — much to the detriment of their own health.
In contrast, I spent my lunch hour out in the park every day, where I watched clouds, shared my meal with wild birds and squirrels, and read until it was time to get back to the office.
It was during these periods of brief calm that I realized just how much of my life I was rushing through instead of savoring in the present.
As a result, I made some major life changes so that I could slow down. By consciously choosing a slower pace of life, I could spend whatever time I wanted truly savoring a cup of coffee or a walk outdoors instead of consuming mindlessly while distracted or focused on getting back to an office.
By doing this, I was able to witness beautiful things, make some wonderful connections with new people, and live more fully in the present rather than speeding blindly forward at all times.
Of course, not all responsibilities and tasks can be removed from our lives. But a lot of the time, if we’re honest with ourselves, we are creating the sense of urgency and additional strain in order to feel productive and worthy. But our worth is not dependent on our output. Our worth is inherent.
3. Prioritizing immersion and deep meaning over hollow distraction.
If you had to calculate the number of hours you’ve spent scrolling on your phone or tablet, or rotting in front of the TV watching shows you can’t even remember, would that number be fairly high? With everything going on in the world, it’s not surprising that a lot of people aim to distract themselves however they can.
That said, every minute spent on self-distraction is a minute not spent embracing and living in the present moment.
Those who fully embrace the present are those who fill their days with fulfilling pursuits that bring meaning to their lives, rather than distracting themselves from their own existence.
Life isn’t easy, especially when there are truly horrible things going on that we have no control over, but there are always engaging things for us to immerse ourselves in that are far more meaningful than endless doom-scrolling.
4. Choosing situations in which you may fail, without fear.
Quite a lot of people try to avoid any kind of failure by any means possible. They might practice things at home so they only receive praise when they do it in front of an instructor or work superior, or only pursue romantic relationships with those they’re certain share their interest so they don’t risk rejection.
Those who live as presently as possible and show up for life as fully as they can acknowledge that they aren’t going to win or succeed in everything. That doesn’t stop them from pursuing those anyway, however.
For them, the learning process involves failure, and that’s part of the life experience they’re cultivating. As such, failure doesn’t damage them: it inspires them instead.
5. Honoring and respecting yourself (and your boundaries).
A person who doesn’t establish and defend personal boundaries is someone who will perpetually have their time, energy, and space disrespected by those around them.
This is because they place honor and respect for themselves as a lower priority than making others happy and avoiding confrontation.
People who respect and honor themselves by fiercely defending their boundaries don’t allow anyone to waste their time. For them to embody and embrace every moment as it unfolds, those moments have to be theirs to spend as they wish, not available for anyone else to grab and waste at will.
6. Consistently choosing things that align with your values.
In the same way that they honor and respect their boundaries so they don’t waste the precious moments of their lives, they don’t waste time and energy on things that go against their personal values, either.
As a result, unless they have no other choice because options are severely limited, they will consistently choose to spend their time and energy on things that are important to them, and will discard whatever isn’t.
For example, they might choose a job working on a cause that they feel strongly about, date people whose values match their own, and do volunteer work in areas that they’re passionate about. If they have the means to, they’ll choose foods, clothes, and products from companies they respect, and waste no time on anything they find morally questionable.
That way, all of their actions are in alignment with their own ethics.
7. Walking away from what doesn’t serve you.
Many of us have spent far more time than we should have in situations and relationships that we know we should have walked away from a long time ago. There are many reasons why we linger in them despite our better judgment (and awareness that we should leave), from financial constraints or fear of repercussions to compassion and loyalty towards others.
Those who show up fully for life tend to end these situations as quickly as they possibly can rather than allowing them to linger on.
They know that they only have so much time to work with, and they aren’t going to waste any of it on dead ends and detrimental circumstances if they can possibly help it.
This may lead others to call them cold or heartless on occasion, but those labels are usually applied to those who don’t behave the way other people want them to, rather than being sincere descriptions of the individual.
Basically, we’re all going to be villains in others’ stories now and again if our actions don’t align with their wants, or if we hurt them unintentionally in order to live authentically.
8. Self-reflection to improve self-awareness.
People who try to live their lives as fully as possible, embracing each moment as it unfolds, are usually remarkably self-aware.
They understand the motivations behind their actions — as well as the repercussions that may come from them — because they make a point of reflecting upon them on a regular basis.
Many do this with a consistent journaling practice, i.e., spending time each evening writing about their day and reflecting upon what happened, how they responded to it, how they could have done better (or simply differently), and how they’ll react should something similar occur again.
Final thoughts…
It can be incredibly appealing to zone out of life for a while, especially if you’re struggling through something that’s stressful or emotionally draining.
Over time, however, being stuck in situations where you don’t get to do what’s important to you, where you have to disassociate or compartmentalize for longer periods of time just to survive, can eat away at you.
Furthermore, it wastes the time that you have left in this precious life. By following the habits mentioned here, you can learn to embrace the present moment and live your life to the fullest instead.
