Were you called “weird” by others in your youth? Or do your peers still accuse you of such? If so, congratulations! That means you’re a unique soul in a sea of sameness.
While it might seem easier to embrace “normalcy” for the sake of fitting in, doing so isn’t worth the cost of your beautiful spirit.
Of course, this may sound easier said than done, especially if you struggle with self-confidence or are sensitive to other people’s criticism. As such, here’s are some tips to help you fully embrace your wild, weird spirit, and celebrate it instead of diminishing it.
9 ways to own your weird and wonderful self:
1. Notice when you’re performing instead of expressing yourself.
A lot of us get trapped in an artificial state that we discover very young, where we learn to swap authenticity for approval.
A good example is the child who does something authentic and adorable that the adults see and remark upon, at which point the child does it more because they enjoy the attention.
But in that moment the magic is gone.
The child is no longer behaving that way for the authentic joy it gives them, but to get their parents’ attention. The quintessential authenticity is replaced by performance.
As adults, we all do a form of this when we think about how we should behave in front of others, and then continue in this vein when our behavior is met with approval
Over time, we stop being authentic in ourselves and instead behave, dress, or do things we think others want or expect of us, often without even realizing.
But owning your weird means becoming aware of when you’re slipping into performativism, and gently guiding yourself back to authenticity, even when others don’t approve.
2. Incorporate what brings you joy into the way you express yourself.
When I was younger, despite being unconventional, a lot of people expressed appreciation for how I dressed because it was different.
I wasn’t choosing a particular aesthetic, but rather I just wore the things I found comfortable, could move in easily, and were made of materials that I liked to look at or touch. Similarly, my partner cultivated a 1930s/40s aesthetic because she fell in love with the styles, and they made her happy.
What brings you the greatest amounts of joy?
For instance, are you in love with a particular color? Then rock it like Elizabeth Sweetheart, the “Green Lady of Brooklyn,” who is obsessed with lime green and incorporates it into every aspect of her life.
Maybe what makes you happy is a color, a texture, era-specific style, animal species, culture, or something else entirely.
Whatever it is you love the best, figure out how you can incorporate it into expressing and celebrating your gloriously weird self.
3. Make your spaces extensions of yourself.
Another way to embrace your weird is to decorate all the spaces you inhabit in the theme you align with.
For example, your home, your office or workspace, your vehicle, garden, etc., all offer you opportunities to surround yourself with the things you love the most.
If you go all out, there’s a good chance that you’ll end up being known for who you are because of your “thing.”
For example, you might be known as that dude who’s covered in old-timey sailor tattoos and rides a Penny Farthing bicycle around town. Or the lady who looks like an extra from Lord of the Rings and lives in an enchanted cottage full of whimsy and wonder.
Whatever it is, go with it!
4. Embody your choices with confidence and joy.
When it comes to embracing your weird, the key is to do so with a huge amount of confidence and joy.
Your goal here isn’t to gain approval from others while inwardly being self-conscious and hesitant in your actions, nor to curate a version of yourself that you think will gain the most admiration from those around you.
Instead, you need to pour immense amounts of confidence into expressing yourself in the ways that bring you the most joy and fulfillment.
Of course, this may be easier said than done at first, especially if you feel self-conscious about being different from everyone around you.
As such, whenever you feel shy or uncertain, raise your head high, stand tall, move with purpose, and act like you own the place. You’ll be amazed at how much more confident you’ll seem as a result.
5. Transform your insecurities into bold statements.
Many people who are insecure about certain aspects of themselves or their needs transcend those insecurities by not only embracing these traits and tools, but elevating them.
For example, a friend of ours with MS has a wide range of glamorous canes that she chooses to match her outfits. I’ve also seen videos of a “Gothic Grandma” who transformed her mobility scooter into a dragon-winged gothmobile.
If you have certain traits or needs that others have made you feel self-conscious about in the past, embrace them fully and celebrate them to their greatest potential.
By doing so, you can prevent anyone from putting you down. After all, how can someone insult your quirks when you embrace them so?
6. Realize the futility of comparison.
Comparison really is the thief of joy. So instead of wishing that you could be more like someone else whom you think is somehow better than you are, focus all your energy and attention on the things that make you happy and proud about yourself.
Roses don’t compare themselves to lilies, nor do lions compare themselves to tigers. There’s enough room in the universe for every star to glow, without worrying that another may be outshining its brightness.
7. Find a group that resonates with your flavor of strangeness.
If those in your social groups have always put you down for being “weird”, then it’s likely that they aren’t the right tribe for you.
Trust in the fact that no matter what you’re into or what’s important to you, there are countless other people who share your passions and interests.
Instead of repressing your weirdness in favor of looking and acting the same as those in your immediate circles, seek out those who sing and dance to the same tune as you do.
Surrounding yourself with those you can truly relate to can encourage you to celebrate the things that make you stand out, instead of suppressing them and denying who you really are.
8. Let go of preconceptions of how you “should” be.
If you use social media, you likely see a lot of people sharing videos in which they’re shaking their heads (or their fingers at you, like you’re a recalcitrant toddler being told a no-no).
They are aiming to inform you of what you should or shouldn’t be, as well as what you should or shouldn’t do.
Ignore them.
There is no right or wrong way to be.
Let go of perceptions of what’s acceptable based on other people’s views and expectations. Order extra pineapple on your pizza if that makes you happy. Wear socks with sandals if that’s your thing.
Ignore what those around you dictate as unacceptable or “wrong” and live your beautiful life on your own terms.
9. Strive to be the best version of your authentic self.
In addition to owning your “weird”, strive to be the best, brightest, and most authentic version of yourself as you possibly can.
Consider this the embodiment of the phrase “go big or go home”. Whatever you’ve embraced as your eccentric means of self-expression, aim for excellence in it.
For instance, if you’ve decided to reinvent yourself as an Edwardian-style children’s book illustrator, hone your skills until you’re considered one of the best in the world at what you do.
Similarly, if you’re obsessed with jewelry making, cake baking, physical fitness, or any other pursuit that you love dearly, strive to continually keep improving your skills until you’re the best (but more importantly, happiest) version of yourself that you can possibly be.
Final thoughts…
You’ve probably noticed that the people who stand out the most in your memory are those who swam against the crowd.
The tall, lanky fellow with dreadlocks who spun fire at your local park, for example, or the vivacious drag queen who whipped up magic at your favorite coffee shop.
When you embrace your glorious, weird self to its fullest potential and celebrate every moment of existence, those around you can’t help but celebrate right alongside you.
