When you think of people whom you admire because of their incredible integrity, you’ll likely notice that they share a number of the same traits. This remains true whether you’re thinking of people who lived hundreds (or even thousands) of years ago, or contemporaries who continue to inspire others with their refusal to go against their morals and ethics, even when pressured to do otherwise. Whether you’re aiming to improve your own integrity or simply recognize it when you see it, these 9 behaviors are among the most exemplary.
1. Reciprocity.
It can be devastating when a person pours a ton of time, attention, or even financial support towards another, be that a friend, partner, or family member, only to receive nothing in return. This creates an unbalanced relationship or one-sided friendship in which the former will end up feeling used, and the latter has little accountability.
NeuroLaunch tells us that reciprocity shapes human behavior and relationships. And as such, people who actually have integrity hold it dear; they always return what they borrowed and pay all meaningful debts, whether monetary or energetic. It’s about the principle rather than the amount. If you helped them move, they’ll help you redo your kitchen and will bring you some plants on top of that. They don’t take anything for granted and would never take advantage of another’s generosity towards them.
2. Keeping their word to the best of their ability.
I talk about this a lot, but it’s worth repeating: a person’s word only has value when they keep it. I know that I’ve accidentally broken my word a few times in my life, but only because extenuating circumstances (e.g., broken bones or extreme illness) have prevented me from doing so, and I still feel bad about it decades after the fact.
The late Michael Jensen reminds us that it’s a mark of high integrity for a person to keep their word as best they can, and to take steps to make amends — or otherwise compensate — if they’re unable to do so. For instance, let’s use the “helping a friend move” example: if someone promised to help a friend move, but was then struck down with an illness, they might hire movers and order pizza for the whole crew to make up for their inability to make good on their promise.
3. Loyalty.
People of extraordinary integrity are generally intensely committed and caring to those who have proven themselves worthy of such devotion. They’re the most loyal partners, friends, and employees, and you never have to worry about them ever betraying your trust or throwing you under the bus in a difficult situation.
There are few bonds as special and sacred as the kind you can share with a person like this. You know that you can trust them with anything, and they’ll be there for you no matter what. My partner and I have found this in each other, and it’s amazing to have complete faith and knowledge that you never have to wonder whether your person will have your back or not, when disaster strikes.
4 Generosity, even when they don’t have much to give (be it time, energy, money, etc.)
Some of the most generous people you’ll ever meet are those who have very little to give. You’ll often see this phenomenon on social media pages in which a vlogger might ask a homeless or elderly person if they have food or a dollar to spare, and even though they’re struggling, they do whatever they can to offer help. They’re inevitably rewarded for their kindness, receiving hundreds (if not thousands) of dollars in return.
A person doesn’t need to have much in order to help others — just a big heart and a sincere desire to do some good in the world, however they can. Furthermore, it’s usually those who have been through a great deal of hurt or hardship who know the importance of kindness and generosity. In addition, they often do so with great grace and dignity, rather than harshly reminding the recipient that they are in a far worse position than they are.
5. Refusal to lash out, even when they’re under duress.
One hallmark of extraordinary integrity is when a person who’s going through an immense amount of personal hardship refuses to take it out on those around them. They might be incredibly stressed out, dealing with a horrible health condition or emotional strife, or be in extreme pain, and they won’t lash out at others about it.
They keep calm and treat others with courtesy, and deal with their struggles in the healthiest and most productive manner possible. People like this don’t use others as their personal punching bags for stress relief, but deal with whatever comes at them with as much stoicism and dignity as possible. If they’re in a difficult situation and need to delegate tasks to others, they’ll do so with firm confidence and respect rather than by barking orders.
6. Moral Invincibility.
Those with incredibly high integrity will hold to their morals, principles, and ideals, even when the rest of the world is against them. They won’t be swayed by bullying or manipulation tactics, nor will they succumb to any peer pressure. If their principles cause them to be slandered, ostracized, or even physically hurt, so be it — they would rather that happen than betray their own morals and ethics.
If they’re eventually proven right, they won’t gloat either: they’ll simply allow things to unfold as they see fit. Some might never have the chance to see themselves proven right during their lifetime (like Giordano Bruno, Ignaz Semmelweis, or Wangari Muta Maathai, to name a few), but their dedication to the causes they believed in, and the stalwart integrity they showed in the face of unrelenting opposition, will echo in eternity. It’s one of the many reasons people with integrity leave such a lasting impression.
7. They don’t enjoy a public execution, so to speak, nor would they attend one.
Most places in the world don’t hold public executions for the masses to enjoy as a spectacle, but if they did, people of high integrity wouldn’t attend them. They don’t take joy or satisfaction in other people’s suffering, and even if the individual being punished is a terrible human being, they won’t see their punishment as entertainment. The closest we can get to this nowadays would be videos in which we see people or animals being hurt or humiliated, which are then shared on social media for “likes”.
People of integrity don’t partake in things that are base and distasteful, especially if they involve the pain and suffering of others. Furthermore, they often take the initiative to call out people who find these things entertaining and those who share them in the hope that they’ll behave better in the future.
8. Protecting the vulnerable.
Whereas some people only protect what they deem to be “theirs” (i.e., partner, children, pets), people of extraordinary integrity will step up and protect any vulnerable being who is in need of help. This might involve saving a stray kitten from a bunch of jerks, intervening when and if a woman is being harassed, staying with a lost child or individual with additional needs until their parents/caregivers show up, or anything else in that vein.
Truly decent people like this recognize that since they have the capacity to protect and help those in need, they are duty-bound to do so. Far too many folks stand back and let others take action when they see harm or injustice done (or pretend not to see it at all), but those with real integrity are the ones who will step up and actually do something about it.
9. Not taking what isn’t theirs.
Theft can take a million different forms, and doesn’t always involve a major acquisition. It could be as subtle as plucking a rose from a bush at the foot of someone’s garden, eating something from the communal fridge at work, or borrowing an item and not returning it. People with integrity respect other people’s property and would never overstep boundaries (or basic decency) by taking what isn’t theirs. Integrity isn’t just about honesty, but it is a part of it.
This concept seems quite alien to those who have an overblown sense of entitlement and don’t seem to understand the concept of ownership. Additionally, those with integrity don’t try to take advantage of things that are meant to help others, including opportunities and/or assistance for those of a demographic that they don’t belong to.
Final thoughts…
It’s not difficult to live a life of extraordinary integrity, but it isn’t for the weak-spirited. Standing by your principles can alienate a lot of people, including close friends and family members, so a person has to be willing to walk away from everything they hold dear if need be. That said, it’s a lot more fulfilling to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and feel proud of the person reflected there than to be forced to turn away because you didn’t have enough courage to live by your own convictions.
