When you think about the people in your social circle, how many of them could be counted on to show up when you truly needed them?
We’re not talking about the ones who would probably do their best as long as you told them about the thing weeks in advance, but the ones who would take you to the airport at 3 a.m. or head to your place no questions asked if a crisis broke out. The number is probably low, but they all likely have most of the following qualities in common.
1. They are truthful with you.
The people who sincerely care about you and can be relied upon when you need them the most are the ones who are honest with you, even when it’s something you don’t necessarily want to hear. It might be a response that you didn’t expect when you asked them what they thought about a scenario (or the person you’re dating), or a subject they broach because they’re concerned about you.
This behavior is a mark of integrity and principle because they’d rather risk your ire than lie to you. Essentially, you mean so much to them that they’re willing to do whatever is needed to ensure that you’re happy, healthy, and fulfilled. Even if their opinions make you upset at times.
These are the people who will stand by you when the going gets tough, rather than the good vibes only “yes men” who only say what you want to hear and disappear when things get difficult.
2. Others speak highly of them.
We can tell a lot about someone by what others say about them (or don’t say, for that matter). You’ve undoubtedly mentioned someone to your social group in passing, and they’ve tried to find something pleasant to say about them, but then change the topic as quickly as possible.
In contrast, those who are spoken highly of by everyone who knows them are usually sincerely good people. If others keep talking about how trustworthy and dependable they are, then it’s because they’ve cultivated a sincere reputation for being so.
3. They have a strong sense of self-respect.
People who have a strong, healthy sense of self-respect are far less likely to buckle or behave selfishly when the SHTF. According to research, they have a set of values and morals by which they evaluate themselves. As such, they need to be able to look themselves in the eye and live with the consequences of their actions, so they ensure that all their actions are worthy of their own respect.
Essentially, they don’t behave in any manner that would make them feel contempt if someone else behaved that way. These are people who will make good on their promises even if they have a falling out with the one they gave their word to. It’s less about the other person deserving their energy or not, and more to do with their own integrity.
4. They have their act together.
We all have friends and acquaintances who mean well and sincerely want to be there for others when needed, but their lives are such clustercusses that when push comes to shove, they fail to follow through on their best intentions.
In contrast, the individuals you know who have their act together don’t usually forget things, whether it’s commitments they’ve made or items they need to pick up. Furthermore, they don’t just anticipate the needs of whatever situation well in advance — they also plan for any mishap that may occur and have contingencies in place for them.
5. They are fiercely loyal.
You’ve likely seen them behave in an extremely loyal manner to those close to them over seemingly insignificant things. For example, if someone is arguing with their friend about their friend’s musical taste, they’ll stand up for them even if they aren’t fond of the band(s) in question, just so they’ve got their mate’s back.
It’s these little acts of allegiance that add up over time and prove that this is a person who can be counted on. If you know that they’ll protect your last slice of pizza from hungry friends like they’re defending your firstborn against a pack of ravening dingos, you can be damned sure they’ll show up at 7 a.m. to help you move.
6. They are proactive problem solvers.
Some of the sweetest, kindest people you know would love to be there for you when you need them, but that doesn’t mean they can be counted upon to take care of what needs to be done. Quite simply, an extra pair of hands becomes more of a burden than a blessing if you need to micromanage them.
Those who take the initiative to get things done and do so in an intelligent, expedient manner are those who can absolutely be counted upon in a crisis. They’ll find efficient ways to deal with any problem and can be relied upon to do their own problem-solving to the best outcome for everyone involved.
7. They demonstrate sincere altruism.
While a lot of people appear to be altruistic for the sake of social media “likes” and general recognition, sincerely good, altruistic people do kind things because they’re important, not so others will tell them how great they are.
You’ve likely seen them display great kindness when there was no direct benefit to them by doing so, and they might have even asked you not to tell others what they were up to. Quite simply, they’re kind because they love to show gentleness and care to the world around them, and that extends to showing up for the people they care about when needed.
8. They are resilient.
Those who can be counted upon when you need them most are often those who have displayed marked resilience to whatever life throws at them. They’ve likely been through 50 shades of various types of hell, and have proven time and again that they won’t crumple easily (if ever). In fact, they’re more than a match for whatever comes their way, and they’ve proven that they can keep picking themselves up when they get knocked down.
You can count on them to show up for you because they know damned well what it’s like to be let down by others and have to struggle through difficulty on their own. Even though they’re fierce and can deal with anything with strength and grace, they’re usually the first people to offer help when it’s needed. They would let themselves down if they let you down, and that’s not gonna happen.
9. They are humble.
A lot of folks will mention how dependable and trustworthy they are, and regale those around them with tales about all the times they were there for those who needed them. But that doesn’t mean they’re being honest about the situation. More often than not, it’s more like when a kid stirs some dough or sauce a couple of times during food prep and then announces to everyone that they cooked the entire meal.
In contrast, humble people who don’t talk much about their own achievements tend to be the ones whom you can really count on when push comes to shove. They don’t feel the need to brag about what they’ve done or for whom: they just do what needs to be done and carry on.
Final thoughts…
People who prove to you that they can be counted on when you need them the most are some of the most treasured beings you’ll ever encounter in this lifetime. We’re all going to face difficulty at some point, whether from an unexpected illness that flattens us or a relationship issue that dramatically changes our living situation.
The person who shows up, offers you a couch, a cup of coffee, or a strong pair of helping hands is a person who has your back no matter what. Treasure them, treat them well, and keep them close.
