Each of us is only given 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. There’s a common sentiment you hear often, that life is short, and you have to make every day count. Well, sort of. Life is unpredictable, but not necessarily short. The truth is that we often have a lot of time, but we just don’t use our time well.
We waste it on frivolous, wasteful activities like binge-watching shows, spending too much time drunk or high, or pursuing the wrong goals. You don’t want to waste your best years on the wrong things. Look for these signs to determine if you’re on the wrong track.
1. You’re postponing what you know you should start now.
What are you waiting for, exactly? The right time? There’s no such thing as the right time to do something when you can feel that pull in your chest, telling you that you need to be doing the thing. You can try to ignore it all you want, I know I did. I’ve ignored things I felt called to do, made every excuse possible to not do them, and I know from personal experience that it just keeps following you.
Don’t put it off, whatever it is. Whatever is calling you to take action on, take action. Otherwise, you’re just going to set yourself back on getting the most out of life. Intuition counts for a lot, yet so many people try to ignore it. And, hey, no judgment. I’ve done it, too. I’m speaking from personal experience.
2. You’re making yourself smaller to avoid risk.
Life is meant to be experienced, and only you can experience your life. But the only way that you can experience your life is if you’re willing to embrace all of the facets of what you are. As Dr. Bruce Y. Lee writes, you can’t make yourself smaller just because you’re afraid of what may come or who may not be happy about it. People tend to focus more on the risk of the negative, but they don’t necessarily talk about the positive.
Personally, I struggled with the fear of the positive. What happens when you spend your life getting things wrong and making bad decisions? Well, when good things happen, then you get to be anxious about not messing them up. But you can’t do that. You have to take risks and feel confident that you can find the answers you need if things do go badly.
3. You’re staying in bad environments that feel draining.
Far too many people choose the comfort of that which is familiar or the fear of the unknown. They stay in bad jobs, abusive relationships, and terrible circumstances even when they have the option not to, often out of fear. But you can’t wrap yourself in misery and expect to live a happy life. You can’t expect other people to change just because you believe they could be better.
All you can really do in this life is decide who gets your limited time and attention. So, if you’re spending your time in negative spaces and around people that drain you, where does that leave you? You’re not going to be happy, fulfilled, or get the most out of life. You’ll just be a battery for everyone else to drain.
4. You’re chasing validation instead of a purpose.
There’s nothing worse for your own sense of peace and well-being than chasing the approval of others. The problem with chasing validation is that it strips your individuality away. Instead of doing the things that make you feel happy and fulfilled, you sacrifice that for a head pat and a “good girl/boy/person” from someone whose opinion you value more than your own. And why is anyone’s opinion of you and your actions more important than your own?
You’re the one who needs to live with the consequences of your choices and actions, so why give that power to anyone else? Purpose often requires us to step into our individual authenticity, and it’s usually not what other people want us to be, especially if you’re a little weird like me.
5. You’re chasing and investing in people who don’t invest in you.
Ever stayed in a bad relationship that wasn’t right for you? Or maintained one-sided friendships that didn’t feed back into you? It’s okay, we all have. So many people struggle with the idea of being alone that they would rather tolerate bad company than no company at all, or only having their own thoughts as company. However, that’s not something you can continue to do if you don’t want to look back on a wasted life.
You generally shouldn’t have to chase people who genuinely value you. Yes, sometimes life gets busy, and people can become disconnected. However, if you feel alone while you’re surrounded by people, you’re in the wrong group. The same goes for dating. You shouldn’t have to wonder if someone is genuinely into you. If they are, they’ll be trying to spend time with you.
6. You’re constantly busy, yet you aren’t progressing.
There is a common misconception that hard work will lead you to success, and that’s not always true. Life is full of distractions and busywork, shiny objects to steal your attention. You can waste your time and life drowning in hard busywork, treading water, and never actually getting anywhere because you’re not acting with intention.
What does it mean to act with intention? Well, it means you need to set goals and then take actions that will lead you to the completion of those goals. The great thing is that most goals aren’t unreachable. You can be happier, healthier, more successful, or whatever it is you’re trying to do if you devote the appropriate time and energy to the right actions. But, to do that, you have to eliminate the busywork that’s not doing anything for you.
7. You’re ignoring negative feelings and discomfort that’s trying to direct you.
The average person has a strong aversion to negative feelings. That’s why toxic positivity is still such a big thing. They feel that it is far better for them to look for the bright side of a situation, ignore negative feelings, or dismiss them as unimportant. Others may drown them out in promiscuity, drugs, alcohol, or other methods of self-inflicted harm.
Negative emotions serve such an important function. They tell you when a situation isn’t right for you. It’s your brain trying to spur you to make different decisions to take you in a better direction. If you want that wisdom and intuition, then you can’t ignore the feelings when they come. You have to understand why you’re feeling them, and then look for a different path. They are a signpost you shouldn’t ignore.
8. You’re repeating the same year, over and over.
Does your life feel monotonous and uninteresting? Are you not growing and getting more out of life year by year? You should be if you want to make the most out of your life. Yes, stability can feel monotonous at times, but there’s no reason not to change things up a bit here and there. That helps keep life fresh and interesting; it keeps you wanting to experience things.
If you can’t manage to do something like take a vacation, because let’s face it, times are tight, you can always look into other local activities. Learn a new skill through YouTube or take a class at a local community center. Visit locations in your hometown that you’ve never been to, like museums or restaurants. Stability and routine are good, but they don’t have to be monotonous.
Final thoughts…
The best years of your life are all of your years. It’s a myth that a particular section of life is going to be amazing and then everything else is just downhill. Whether you’re a late bloomer or not, the best years of your life may be ahead of you rather than present or behind. None of us is promised tomorrow, so you want to treat right now as the best years of your life.
Don’t waste your time and energy on the wrong people or situations. It’s okay to make a change if you feel you need to. Sometimes, that’s just what’s necessary.
