There’s a tiny box across the room from you. It’s so small, you almost missed it. You walk over to it, and you put yourself in it. Does it feel comfortable? It shouldn’t; it’s too compact and leaves no room to move in.
People do this to themselves figuratively all the time, labelling themselves less than they really are. In this instance, I am writing about capability. I feel those of you out there right now who are reading these words, shuffling uncomfortably in your seats. Yes, I mean you.
The real issue is the way you’ve mistaken yourself, because you have more capability than you currently believe. And these 9 signs will be proof of that.
1. You’ve overcome difficulties you aren’t giving yourself enough credit for.
We aren’t often encouraged to look to our past. When we do, we hear everybody say, “No point looking back, you aren’t moving that way!” But at times, you know, it’s extremely useful to know how you got to where you are today.
You think you just floated through life and arrived at this point in time, but if you are more capable than you give yourself credit for, it’s likely you overcame. Are you celebrating that enough? Have you even realized this about yourself?
If you’ve spent your past being dealt difficulties (and really, who hasn’t?), then you’re likely to have sought out strategies that help you overcome them.
For me, my difficulties revolved around family. With some toxic people in my life, I had to make difficult decisions that meant those family dynamics would change forever. But when I see my son growing up in a loving home where he can make mistakes and be exactly who he wants to be, I know I made the right choice. And yet I know the credit I give myself is, at times, not enough.
2. You learned something faster than you thought you would.
Learning at any speed is still learning, and it’s brilliant. But learning something faster than you thought you would means you didn’t allow yourself the belief that you could do it in the first place. Your capability exceeds your opinion of yourself.
But beyond that, you can feel proud that you learned something so fast. It shows that you have a natural aptitude and capability for whatever skill it is you’ve honed. Natural talent is something that many people dismiss because they assume it doesn’t require much effort, and that can be the very reason why you might overlook it as a capability. But just because you’re naturally good at something and pick it up quickly doesn’t mean it doesn’t deserve recognition.
Does that sound like you in a way? Maybe the credit you so willingly give to others, you can offer to yourself, too.
3. You solve problems others tend to avoid (or give up on).
Listen, if this sounds like you, I really need you to come and sort out the gutters on my outbuilding. They aren’t even attached to it anymore, and I fear the rain.
Seriously though, problems that others tend to ignore or abandon at some point need to be solved by someone. And it takes a certain kind of can-do knuckle down mentality to approach something that other people typically procrastinate over (or quickly give up on).
Now don’t get this mixed up with people-pleasers. Some people will do anything and everything they can for other people at the expense of their own problems. Here we’re talking about the invaluable intervention and problem-solving capability of those who can tolerate a bit of frustration and discomfort.
Does that sound like you? Do you love thinking outside the box and figuring out how to solve even the most avoided problems? If so, you’re more capable than you let yourself think.
4. When circumstances change, you adapt.
I once read that denying change is often more stressful than accepting it. Those words have stayed with me since, because I am not the biggest fan of change myself. I still struggle now, but this fact recenters me enough to do what I need to do.
There is so much in life we can’t control, but adapting even just a little when your own circumstances change means you can allow those openings and closings of doors more easily. Being highly adaptable and able to transition through what you may not have anticipated is a real capability I wish I had more of, but I am getting there.
After all, if you refuse change and double down on wanting everything to stay the same, you’re fighting the natural timeline of life itself.
5. You feel stressed, but you learn healthy ways to keep going.
I’ll be crystal clear here: this is not the same as pushing through stress and leading yourself to total burnout. Healthy ways to keep going are the keywords here, and if you have found and utilized them, you are very capable indeed.
The reason it means you’re more capable than you think is that it’s so easy to allow stress to take over and eat you up. We have a tendency to keep going until we break, partly because society seems to glorify it, but learning healthy ways to slow down so that you can keep going is far more sensible (and ultimately more productive, in the long term).
Your mental, emotional, and physical health will thank you if you pick out what suits you. That might be exercise, writing, reading, prioritizing sleep, increasing your self-care routine, or learning to switch your phone off when you aren’t working.
When you can do these things, it shows you understand that true capability isn’t measured by your output or productivity, which most people will never learn. If you’ve learned to put yourself first and lessen those responses to what’s stressing you out, that’s a huge achievement that you need to give yourself more credit for.
6. You reflect honestly on your own behavior.
Talk about the height of capability! Being able to reflect on your behavior honestly means knowing where you might have screwed up, or points where you could have dealt with a situation better than you did. How many people do you know who can, and do, honestly do that?
The word I want to focus a little more on, though, is honestly. Many of us would like to think we’re pretty self-aware, but how many of us (including me) have assessed our behavior with defenses up, or justifiable excuses seeping through? Probably more than we’d collectively care to admit!
Here’s where the real capability comes in:
You are self-aware AND you implement actionable change once behavior is honestly reflected on.
In other words, if you acted a little like a douchebag, the real capability lies in knowing that, plus doing differently next time you’re faced with that scenario.
If you can (and do) do that, hats off to you!
7. Even if you are doubting yourself, you strive further.
Pushing through doubt is where capability doesn’t just exist, it’s built. There’s not much that’s more uncomfortable than self-doubt. It really is a dangerous blocker for self-growth and confidence, and that can feel fearful.
But guess what? Action cures fear. It’s so simple when you think about it, but that’s where many people might stop and say, “Nah, I don’t want to go any farther. I don’t think I can do it.” The only way you learn how to do it and prove your capability is by keeping going.
Doubt might not always disappear through action, but I think it’s a great way to make it smaller and more manageable. Refusing to listen to it and taking one step more really is where you build a foundation of capability that you might not always realize you possess.
8. You notice the little things other people may miss.
The good old attention to detail! For me, this is where I thrive.
I love to plan, and some people may call me out on it, telling me I worry too much or think too much. In fact, I do live with anxiety, and my anxiety tells me quite a lot of the time that I am going to forget this, or neglect that if I’m not careful.
But for me, planning counteracts all of that. When I plan, I give myself the gift of time to notice the little things others miss because they aren’t giving whatever it is the attention it needs.
And every now and then, internally, I am beaming with pride. I hear that little voice say, “See? You’re capable of this!”, and I smile to myself.
The difference between doing the bare minimum and adding an enriching dimension to something often comes from the ability to think in detail and color in the gaps, and I’d say that’s a capability that not everyone possesses or acknowledges.
Does that sound like you, too?
Final thoughts…
Why don’t we give ourselves more credit? I wish I could sit down with all of you and discuss the ways in which you show capability where you think you don’t, because I think the majority of you would be surprised.
Part of the reason why we don’t think of ourselves as capable is that we don’t believe we can be that person. We’re too quick to put ourselves down and not see the small things we do that actually prove otherwise.
I hope this has given you food for thought, and even better, the discovery of just how capable you really are.
