The phrase “necessity is the mother of invention” holds true in many ways.
When a person grows up disadvantaged, they invariably face many challenges, but they also often develop a number of strengths that those who grew up affluent didn’t cultivate quite as keenly.
And although those of us who grew up poor may have chosen a different start if we’d had the choice, the skills we built during times of duress — such as the ones listed here — often end up serving us amazingly well over the years.
These 9 strengths can often be found in people who didn’t grow up with a lot of money:
1. Creative adaptability.
When you don’t have much, you learn to get creative with what you do have. You come up with creative solutions for just about anything.
For example, if you don’t have milk for a recipe, then you might make an alternative with pureed oats or rice. Or you’ll use ingenuity to come up with really interesting meals from the scraps you have in the fridge or pantry.
Those of us who grew up with MacGyver were inspired by watching him put together things like welding torches using jumper cables and a roll of quarters, and poverty can make a MacGyver of just about anyone.
Since necessity is the mother of invention, those of us who grew up poor learned to problem-solve with what we had available. I once made a charcoal-burning BBQ out of a metal garbage can lid, an old photography tripod, and an oven rack.
I wouldn’t recommend trying this at home, but it worked at the time!
2. The ability to fix (or extend the life of) a lot of things.
In modern Western society in particular, people are quick to dispose of things rather than trying to fix them. If something breaks, wears through, or just isn’t working the same way it did before, it’s simply tossed into the garbage and replaced.
But people who grow up without much don’t have that option. As such, they often learned how to take care of things well because they weren’t simply going to be replaced if they broke.
They had to learn to maintain and mend everything they had in order to extend their lifespans.
Shoes were polished and weather-treated regularly, socks were darned, and tears mended. Similarly, they learned how to fix things like bike chains and household appliances simply because they knew they couldn’t be replaced easily.
3. A community-minded nature.
While some people who grow up without much do end up with a more self-centered scarcity mindset, many others learn early that it really does take a village for people to survive.
For example, if a group of people all have a few scraps in the pantry, they can pool resources to make enough to feed everyone, plus some extra to share with others — like in the famous Stone Soup fable.
Often, they carry this community mindset well into adulthood, and make a point of helping others whenever and however they can.
Furthermore, they recognize the benefits of networking and reciprocity. The neighbor they helped to move later returns that favor by giving them their mechanic nephew’s number when their car battery dies, and so on.
4. The ability to plan well.
If you’re looking for someone to help you plan a vacation, then someone who grew up without much is the person to ask.
They know that it’s best to book in the off-season for lower prices, and that a small capsule wardrobe is far better than packing your entire closet. The same goes for any other task, outing, or venture you may have in mind.
Those who grew up with very little often learned how to plan as efficiently as possible in order to make the most out of the few resources they had.
Furthermore, they often developed phenomenal predictive problem-solving skills.
For example, let’s say they grew up in a home where funds got scarce by the end of the month. They took stock of where expenses might accrue and what could be allocated elsewhere, and took action accordingly.
This might have involved getting up earlier to bike or walk to school instead of taking the bus, and using the money they saved for budget-savvy lunch options.
This strength has likely carried them into adulthood and allows them to anticipate potential setbacks so they can make alternative arrangements.
5. The ability to save what you can for a rainy day (and not just money).
My partner and I live in an extremely storm-prone area, and as climate change has accelerated over the past several years, we’ve had extended power outages due to severe weather.
Since both of us have experienced intense poverty, we’ve learned the value of keeping the pantry and cold cellar well-stocked in case of emergency.
As a result, when a tornado 50km away took out our power for over a week and made local roads impassable due to fallen trees, we had plenty of food, water, and other supplies on hand to draw from.
It’s about preparedness. When someone grows up without much, they often learn the habit of stocking their life with whatever they can, whenever they can, because they learn early that their safety depends on it.
6. A lack of materialism (sometimes).
Although some people who grow up with very little try to compensate with a lot of “stuff” as they get older, many of us are quite comfortable and content with a simpler, more minimalistic lifestyle.
Individuals who take the latter approach often choose to surround themselves with a few items that they cherish and find beautiful rather than cluttering up their spaces with unnecessary things, solely for the sake of having them.
These individuals don’t often feel left out if they don’t have the latest fancy gadget, trendy shoes, or whatever viral item is popular at the moment. Nor do they place any emphasis on owning — and flaunting — high-priced, luxury items.
They aren’t impressed by brand labels, and instead appreciate the value of well-made items made with loving care.
7. Comfort with uncertainty.
When a person grows up with very little, they often get used to not knowing from one day to the next whether they’ll have a safe place to live or enough food to eat.
As a result, for some people, the coping mechanisms and survival skills they build make them far more comfortable with unpredictable environments.
For example, those who grew up in more stable, affluent households might get terribly disappointed when plans fall through or if something troubling happens out of nowhere.
In contrast, those who learned to tolerate unpredictability from an early age may just shrug that off and carry on. The scarcity they experienced growing up programmed them to view unpredictability as a baseline standard, rather than a crisis.
Of course, this can also have its downsides, and for some people, early instability creates anxiety rather than resilience.
But for many, they learn to simply keep functioning without any expectation of stability or consistency.
They don’t need reassurance that everything is going to be okay, because they know that certainty is an illusion. And what’s more, they can trust themselves to be able to handle whatever happens.
8. Greater situational awareness.
Some people who grow up underprivileged learn very early how to read the energy in a room, as well as other people’s body language.
For example, if they saw a certain look in their parent’s eyes, or noticed that their posture shifted, they might offer to make dinner or simply go back to their room rather than ask for assistance with anything.
While this might have been a case of empathy at times (such as recognizing when a parent was burnt out or upset), it might have also come from a place of self-preservation.
Poverty and domestic violence often go hand in hand, so learning how to stay as safe as possible served them well.
Though this can obviously have negative consequences if it becomes a state of hypervigilance that can’t be switched off, it can also be a skill that continues to serve them as they go through life.
For instance, it may grant them situational awareness to anticipate how a situation may unfold and respond accordingly. For example, they may be more able to feel tensions rising between people at work, and thus can step in and lighten the mood to de-escalate.
9. The ability to continue onwards despite discomfort.
When you don’t have much growing up, you often learn to deal with discomfort and keep on carrying on, because you have no choice.
For example, you may have to live with a toothache for a while until you have money to go to the dentist to fix it. Similarly, you may learn to withstand the cold because you can’t afford a warmer coat, or you learn to layer clothes beneath it until you can afford a new one.
This falls under the category of “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”
Those who were privileged enough to have their needs and comforts seen to immediately don’t necessarily have the ability to withstand pain and keep doing what needs to be done the same way disadvantaged people do, simply because they had no other choice but to do so.
Final thoughts…
Growing up without much isn’t easy, and it’s worth saying that it can cause a number of long-lasting physical and mental health issues, depending on how great the disadvantages were.
That said, the strengths listed here shouldn’t be underestimated.
These strengths can help them withstand and overcome astonishingly difficult circumstances, and they often grant them the ability to help others to get through them as well.
Though they are hard-won, those who grew up without much often develop skills and resilience that others will never have a chance to cultivate.
