Some people like to drink the night away and may hook up with a stranger at the end of it.
Perhaps you have done that too.
There’s no judgment here. It’s absolutely okay to do that if it’s what you want.
But since you’re reading this, I’m guessing those days are over for you.
After all, you’re much more likely to find love if you look for it while sober.
It’s understandable to want to reach for a little liquid courage when you’re on a date, but dry dating forbids this for good reason.
Dry dating means that you’ll stay sober during your dates and avoid alcohol in any amount.
But is it a good idea?
Well, of course.
Yes, alcohol could give you some courage and loosen you up a bit for the big date. But it could also cloud your judgment, make you look bad, or mean you settle for something you don’t want.
So, while you might still drink alcohol on other occasions, you might want to entirely avoid it while you’re trying to find love.
Stay sober on your dates to make sure that you’re making the right decisions and presenting yourself the way you want to be seen.
5 Big Benefits Of Dating While Sober
You probably know the potential downsides of getting drunk on a date already, but what about the upsides of dry dating?
Because although it might seem like a big change to your usual dating routine at first, it comes with a load of benefits.
1. You can be your true self and get to know your date for who they are.
People don’t act like themselves when they are drunk, and everyone knows this.
Yet we still drink because we think the drunk version of us is somehow better.
Trust me, it’s not. It just seems that way when you’re drunk.
When you’re sober, on the other hand, you can let your date get to know the real you. And they need to be aware of your true personality, which is not the same when you’re drinking.
Do you usually talk so loudly? Do you talk about the same things when sober as you do when drunk?
Alcohol changes you, and this is a bad idea when you want someone to fall in love with the real you.
In addition, you need to get to know your date too. When you’re drunk, you see other people differently, and you feel differently about them.
Get to know your date for who they are by staying sober during your dates.
2. You’re in control, and you’re more likely to make better decisions.
It might seem like a great idea to go to bed with someone you’ve just met when you’re drunk. But, when you wake up in the morning, you might just realize that you never liked them in the first place. So, you’re left with a hangover and lots of regrets.
Maybe you didn’t sleep with them, maybe you instead acted like a fool and lost your chance with them. Somehow, that might be even worse.
Either way, alcohol clouds your judgment and makes you more likely to make poor choices.
In addition, you’re not in control during the date. Alcohol is. It’s determining how you feel, what you do, and what you say.
You might settle for less or leave a wrong impression on someone that you could actually grow to love.
3. You look more attractive and mature.
People don’t look attractive when they’re drunk, they just think they do.
When you’re drunk, it boosts your confidence. It can make you feel like you’re only saying words of wisdom when you’re actually talking nonsense.
It can make you think that you look beautiful while you actually look like your face is melting away.
In addition, your behavior is different as well as your body language. No one is sexy when they’re drunk, but everyone thinks that they are, which makes them even less attractive.
In addition, being drunk while searching for love is pretty immature. When you’re sober, you can act like an adult and be your best self. It will show your date that you’re mature enough to make good decisions.
4. You’re less likely to settle and more likely to find a serious relationship.
Alcohol can make you feel depressed. It could make you feel like it’s okay to settle for the person you’re dating, even if you know that you shouldn’t.
You could be tired of searching for the right person and let alcohol pick the wrong person to fill the void.
Or, you could stay sober and make sure that you pick the right person for you.
Alcohol also lowers your inhibitions and makes you horny. Most one-night-stands probably started with someone getting drunk enough to agree to casual sex.
As I’ve said, it’s okay to have a casual relationship if that’s what you want. But, if the only reason you want that is because you’re drunk, you might regret it later.
Staying sober will help you find love instead of a casual hookup. Your brain won’t be intoxicated, so you won’t think that you could have something real with someone who clearly just wants to sleep with you.
5. You’ll remember everything that has been said and done.
What’s the point of going on a date if you’re not going to remember it afterward?
The purpose of the date is that the two of you get to know each other and see how you make each other feel.
You can’t do that if you’re drunk.
Not only will you be unable to show your real selves, but you won’t remember a lot about your drunk selves either
Stay sober on a date to make it a memorable one.
Our Top 10 Tips For Dry Dating
Now that you know why you should stay sober when dating, the only question that remains is – how?
The truth is, it’s not that hard. You just need to avoid alcohol. That’s all it takes.
However, even though it sounds easy, it might not be so simple, especially if you’re used to drinking on dates.
Here are some tips to stay sober and make the right decisions:
1. Suggest an appropriate date idea.
There are plenty of fun activities that don’t involve alcohol, and these can turn into great date ideas.
Take a cooking class, pottery class, or dancing lessons. Go to an escape room or try ice skating. You could visit a gallery, a museum, or see a play. Go bowling or try golf. Have a picnic or host a dinner at your place.
It could literally be anything that keeps you busy and doesn’t involve a bar or a restaurant.
Not only will this make it easier for you to stay sober, but it’ll also be a fun alternative to the same old dinner and a movie date.
2. Deal with the anxiety differently.
You might be tempted to reach for a drink before the date to calm your nerves, but don’t. There are a lot of other things that you could do to deal with the anxiety.
Try meditating or simply talking to your friends. Write your thoughts in a journal, exercise, or distract yourself with some activity.
If you get nervous during the date, don’t be afraid to simply tell the person about it. Saying something like “Sorry, but I’m a bit nervous because I want to leave a good impression on you” doesn’t sound strange.
In fact, your date might find it charming and even flattering. They might tell you that they’re nervous too. In addition, you could also open up about dry dating, but more on that later.
3. Come up with some conversation starters.
Another thing that can help with the anxiety is planning ahead.
Think about some conversation starters before you go on a date. What could you bring up that you’ve been doing recently? Maybe you have some funny stories from work, or you saw a great movie. Do you have any hobbies, and which of your interests could you talk about?
Plan what you’re going to say, but don’t forget that you need to ask your date questions too. What would you like to know about them? Maybe you want to know where they grew up or what they like doing in their spare time.
Plan these things so that it’s easier to talk to your date sober without getting nervous.
4. Pick an appropriate setting.
If you have to choose a bar or a restaurant instead of an activity, choose wisely. Suggest a place where you feel most comfortable to prevent getting nervous without alcohol.
Maybe you’re a regular in some coffee shop, or you have a favorite restaurant. If this is the place where you feel safe and most at ease, go there for your date.
Keep in mind that you might run into people you know though, but that might even help too. The best thing is that you already know what’s served there so you can choose a nonalcoholic drink.
5. Research the place that your date suggests.
What if your date chooses the restaurant instead? No need to panic, you can still come prepared. Research the place that your date suggests. Find out about the nonalcoholic drinks that they offer. Make sure to check for any potential happy hours that might catch you off guard.
If you think that you won’t be comfortable at the place your date suggests, don’t hesitate to suggest a different setting. Don’t put yourself in temptation’s way if you don’t have to, and you really don’t have to.
Your date will probably be open to your suggestions. Try to avoid bars, and even restaurants unless you’re comfortable in a certain restaurant.
6. Plan what you’re going to order.
As already mentioned, wherever it is that you’re going to go, make sure to familiarize yourself with the menu that they offer.
If you just go there and see the menu, you might be tempted to order alcohol. When you realize that it takes too much time to pick something else, it will be easier to settle for what you’re used to.
Prevent this by deciding what you’re going to drink ahead of time. You could drink coffee, coke, lemonade, or virgin cocktails. There’s plenty of options, so check out the menu and make a decision before you go on your big date.
7. Don’t think about it during the date.
You might start obsessing about the fact that you’re not drinking and thinking that your date notices it.
The truth is, your date couldn’t care less about what you’ll be drinking. Unless, of course, they want you to get drunk, but then you might want to reconsider dating them anyway. A person who wants you drunk probably wants to use you.
Your date probably won’t even notice that you’re not drinking alcohol though. Even if they do, you can explain that you don’t want to drink, and that should be fine with them.
Don’t focus on what you’re drinking, just like they won’t. Focus on getting to know them better and having a great time.
8. Don’t give up if your date drinks.
What if your date orders alcohol? Well, it certainly doesn’t mean that you should too. Don’t be tempted to order the same thing that they do.
If they want to drink, that’s fine because it’s their choice. You made a choice not to drink while you’re dating. Stick to your decision, and don’t let theirs derail you from your path.
After all, maybe they don’t intend to get drunk either. Perhaps they’ll have just one drink. This doesn’t mean that you can have “just one drink” too. What if they order the next one, or you can’t stop at one?
Stay safe by not drinking any alcohol at all, regardless of how much or how little your date drinks.
9. Don’t judge your date if they’re drinking.
When you make a specific choice, you may be tempted to judge those who make a different one.
Yes, it would be better if they weren’t drinking alcohol either, but they might not have given this as much thought as you have. So, don’t judge them. And don’t assume that they always drink or that they’ll get drunk either.
Also, don’t act like you’re better than them for not drinking. Yes, it’s often better not to drink on dates, but, as already mentioned, your date might not have thought about it so far.
However, if you want to avoid people who drink, that’s okay too. You can use some of the dry dating apps that are specifically made for people who want to stay sober. Find your date there, and don’t worry about the possibility that they’ll order a beer or a glass of wine.
10. Let them in on what you’re doing.
Whether you’re with someone who drinks or not, you can tell them why you’re not drinking.
Now, you’re not obliged to tell them anything about dry dating or anything else for that matter. But, if you want to, you can tell them as much as you’d like or keep it short if that’s what you prefer.
The way they react will help you get to know them better too. Don’t date anyone who pressures you into drinking or shows no understanding of your choice. They’re not a good match for you, and not just because of the alcohol. Your date should respect your choices.
You might even inspire them to make the same choice themselves. If your date says that they’re not going to drink either because they respect your choice, you know that you’re going somewhere.
However, don’t ask them not to drink. Just like you have the right to choose, so do they. You just might not choose each other if your choices don’t match.
Whatever you do, don’t let them pressure you into drinking. If they persist, let them down gently and walk away.
5 Dating Apps That Are Made For Sober Dating
Dry dating might be hard for you if all your dates drink, and you want to find people like you. But you can. Here are some apps that cater specifically to sober dating:
1. Clean and Sober Love (CASL)
CASL is like Tinder, except you’ll find only sober people there. There are plenty of users, but you can’t expect the same number as with regular dating apps.
If you’re not only interested in dry dating but the entire staying-clean lifestyle, Loosid is the dating app for you. Dating is just a part of what they offer because you’ll find a lot of help for staying sober.
This app has existed for a long time, and we can safely assume that there’s a good reason for that. Creating a profile is free. You can also look for people based on the recovery program that they’re a part of and other unique things.
4. Single and Sober
Find other sober singles on Single and Sober just like the name says. It is just the same as regular dating apps, but you’ll only find sober people there.
5. Using regular apps with filters.
Don’t forget that you can still use regular dating apps as well. You’ll just have to use filters to find people who don’t drink.
You may also like:
- 20 Questions To Ask On A First Date That Aren’t Boring!
- 18 Important First Date Tips After Meeting Someone Online
- How To Be Charming: 13 No Nonsense Tips!
- How To Keep A Conversation Going: 12 No Nonsense Tips!
- 16 Good Signs Your First Date Went Well: How To Know For Sure
- When And What To Text After A First Date
- How To Stop Texting Too Much Before A First Date
- 24 Tips For Having A Great Second Date (And Getting A Third)