Is An Online Dating Coach Worth It?

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I know what you’re thinking—what can a dating coach do for you that you can’t do yourself?

It might seem silly to hire someone to help you find the love of your life, but have you had success when you tried on your own?

If you have, then there’s no need to hire someone to help you! But since you are reading this, I’ll assume you haven’t. That’s okay, a lot of people find online dating difficult.

If you’re struggling with things that prevent you from having a fulfilling love life, it’s not silly to hire someone to help you out.

Sure, your friends are probably ready and willing to offer a lot of dating advice… But, most likely, they aren’t objective and don’t have the valuable insight that a trained professional has.

There are some things that you can’t expect from a dating coach though. Hiring one doesn’t come with a guarantee that your perfect match is going to show up, and they can’t change your personality.

There are plenty of things that a dating coach can do for you, but you need to put some time and effort in too. After all, a dating coach can be great at what they do, but you’ll still be the one going on dates and communicating with potential matches.

Is hiring a dating coach worth it then?

Well, think of it as a business. While you’re doing the work, there’s someone else who could train you to do it better and profit from it more. There’s someone who has more knowledge about that business than you do, and they are willing to share that knowledge with you to help your business succeed.

Sounds like a great deal, doesn’t it? Let’s see.

Answer these questions to determine whether you could use the help of a dating coach:

1. How many times have you tried without success?

How long have you been searching for the perfect match, or how many times have you tried? For instance, two bad dates in a row doesn’t necessarily mean that the third one is going to be bad too.

However, if you went on more than ten dates and never got to the second date, or you haven’t managed to get a date at all, you could use the help of a dating coach.

2. Do you keep failing at a particular stage?

Is there a certain stage of dating that you’re having trouble with? Like in the previous example, maybe you can get plenty of first dates but you can’t get a second one. Or maybe you stop getting replies after a few messages back and forth.

If there’s a particular stage of dating that’s causing you problems, you should definitely let the dating coach know about it. It will help them understand what you need to work on. For instance, maybe you could benefit from better communication skills, whether it means communicating in person or through messages.

3. Do you lack confidence?

Confidence is attractive, and it makes you better at dating. If you lack confidence, it’s definitely something that you can work on with a dating coach in order to improve your love life.

They can help you boost your confidence by working on yourself, so, again, most of the work will be on you.

However, they can provide guidance and motivation and give you an honest opinion on what your strengths and weaknesses are when it comes to dating.

They can’t change who you are as a person, but they can help you step out of your comfort zone, fight your insecurities, and learn to love yourself.

4. Do you have enough time for finding the right match?

Sometimes, the problem isn’t about your insecurities, skills, or fears… You might just be a busy person that doesn’t have the time to work on their love life on their own. You don’t have the time for endless dating site attempts or for potential romances that go nowhere.

Luckily, just like in your professional life, you can have an assistant in your love life too. They could make the whole process faster. In addition, they will serve you the information that you would otherwise spend a lot of time searching for and figuring out how it could apply to your individual situation.

5. Do you want to avoid wasting your time?

This is similar to the previous question, but you don’t have to be a busy person to want to avoid wasting your time. Picking out the right match takes time, and learning how to weed out the potential matches could take a while if you do it on your own.

In addition, we can all agree that bad dates and bad online matches are not just unpleasant and discouraging but a huge time-waster as well. With the help of a dating coach, you could learn to speed up the process and pick the best matches.

6. Do you know how to flirt?

Flirting can be an art and a science… It doesn’t come naturally to everyone, and even those who seem to be naturals at it have probably learned it through practice.

The truth is, many people flirt awkwardly, which costs them potentially great matches. And even more people are simply too shy to even attempt flirting, fearing that it would feel or seem uncomfortable. This is a situation when it’s really worth hiring a dating coach.

As already mentioned, they can help you become more confident so you can step out of your comfort zone, which helps with flirting. However, they can also specifically assist with learning how to flirt and attracting people of your preferred gender.

7. Do you need individual attention?

A dating coach doesn’t have some secret information that no one else knows about. You could even read the articles on this website to learn a lot of things that a dating coach will teach you.

However, what they offer is individual attention and advice tailored specifically for you, unlike the books and articles that you can read on your own. This saves a lot of time. It also helps pinpoint the exact problem and solution instead of trying to figure it out on your own based on general information.

8. Do you have a good dating profile?

Whether you have already created a dating profile or are about to, there’s a lot that you could do to get responses and good matches. A lot of people think that dating online doesn’t work when in reality they just haven’t put much thought into creating a good dating profile.

People on dating sites don’t know you; they decide whether to contact you or not purely based on your profile. So, you should take that part of dating online very seriously, and a dating coach can help you create a great profile or improve an existing one. While you can find this advice on our website, a coach would be able to tell you exactly what works and doesn’t work for you specifically.

9. Do you know exactly what you’re looking for?

You have to know what you want to find in order to search for it. Have you set your dating goals? Do you know what kind of person and what kind of relationship you’re looking for? Are you aware of your must-haves and your dealbreakers? Do you know what kind of person you need in order to have the future that you have planned for yourself?

Maybe you do know all these things, but have you been getting results? A dating coach can help you figure out what you want and how to find it.

10. Do you need an objective perspective?

An unbiased opinion is very valuable when you’re trying to improve yourself. Your friends and family love you and wish the best for you, but that doesn’t mean that they’ll give you good advice. Since they are so close to you, they don’t see you objectively.

An unbiased third party could shine some light on things you might not have even noticed. They could help you see things from a different perspective, and they’ll always be honest with you.

Your loved ones probably don’t understand why you can’t get matches since they likely think that you’re amazing. Maybe you are, but your loved ones recognize that because they’ve known you for a very long time. The way potential matches who don’t know you see you isn’t the same as the way your loved ones see you.

11. Are you anxious about dating?

Maybe the thought of going on dates and meeting new people gives you anxiety. Perhaps you have fears that prevent you from dating successfully. You can work on overcoming your fears with the help of a dating coach. They could make you feel more comfortable dating online and in person.

A lot of people fear rejection and/or staying single for a long time. Many are also shy and afraid of communicating with potential matches. A trained professional can certainly help in this case.

Another of our articles will also certainly help: Stop Being Scared Of Dating: 10 Top Tips To Get Over Dating Anxiety

12. Do your dating skills need improvement?

You don’t have to be bad at dating for your dating skills to need some tweaking, and this is when a dating coach can be worth it. They can’t wave a magic wand and turn a shy guy into a player, but they can help you become whoever you want to be.

If you want to be more extroverted, a better communicator, more interesting to your preferred gender, or anything else related to dating, you will do most of the work.

However, if you’re willing to work on it, a coach will give you the guidance and support that you need to get to where you want to be.

If you’re not seeing the results that you’re hoping for, a dating coach can help you understand which areas you should work on first. They could give specific advice for problems such as not knowing how to start a conversation or how to dress to impress.

13. Do you need support and motivation when things aren’t working out?

Sometimes, you just need someone to hold your hand and be the wind beneath your wings in order to achieve anything. A dating coach doesn’t just offer their knowledge and advice, they offer support and motivation, which can sometimes be all that’s missing and preventing you from reaching your goals.

While your friends and family can offer support and even motivate you, it is not their job to do so. When it comes to coaches, it is literally their job to give you the support that you need and motivate you to do your best.

14. Do your communication skills need improvement?

How good are you at communicating with people of your preferred gender? For instance, some men are afraid of beautiful women and can’t talk to them.

In the popular TV show The Big Bang Theory, the extreme version of this problem is portrayed by the character Raj Koothrappali, who literally can’t talk to women. He should have definitely considered getting the help of a dating coach, but your problem doesn’t have to be that big for you to benefit from the help of a professional.

Maybe you can communicate, but it’s how well you communicate which is the area that needs improvement. A dating expert can help with that too.

15. Do you understand women/men?

Do you understand women/men? Maybe they are a mystery to you… You don’t understand how their minds work and you’re not that great at flirting or even communicating with them.

Maybe you don’t get social cues or can’t read someone’s body language. Perhaps you just wish you knew more about women or men so that you could forge deeper relationships. In any case, a dating coach could be of assistance.

16. Are you having trouble getting over your ex-partner?

A dating coach doesn’t just help you find a new partner, they help you get over a previous partner too. Maybe you haven’t moved on from your last relationship which is preventing you from finding a new one. You still want your ex back or didn’t get the closure that you needed.

Maybe you have some toxic patterns from your past relationships that are damaging for any future relationships that you could have. In this case, hiring a dating coach is worth it.

17. Are you having online dating success?

Are you getting the desired results on dating sites and apps? Do you get enough matches and responses? Are you going on fantastic dates? Do you have a great dating profile?

Online dating really can work out the way you want it to. It’s possible to find the love of your life on a dating site! However, many people fail and have bad experiences because they don’t know that much about dating online, even if they have been doing it for a while.

You need to approach dating online seriously and learn more about it for it to give you the results that you’re hoping for.

18. Do you need feedback, suggestions, and advice?

Besides support, motivation, and an objective perspective, a dating coach offers feedback, suggestions, and advice. This is why hiring one is very different from reading books and articles. A coach is someone who is specifically hired to help you, not anyone else.

They can give you tailored advice and specific pointers based on your individual problems and experiences. For instance, you could tell them about your last date that didn’t go that well, and they can tell you what you could do differently next time for the date to turn out the way you hoped.

19. Do you need help in making decisions when it comes to dating?

Maybe you simply make bad decisions when you’re dating. You pick the wrong men/women, don’t follow your heart, don’t trust your gut, move too fast, or decide to open up too early.

It could be anything, and a dating coach can help you figure out how to change it and start making better decisions. And better decisions lead to better results.

20. Do you know how to pick quality partners?

Linking in with the previous question, do you always pick the wrong men/women? Do you simply have bad luck and get bad matches? It’s probably not so much about luck as about your choices or the way you’re presenting yourself!

You can pick quality partners and get them to pick you more often. A dating coach can help you break free from bad patterns and discover the real reasons why you’re choosing people who aren’t good for you. In this case, it would also be wise to get the help of a therapist since the root of the problem probably lies in your past.

21. Do you keep making mistakes?

Whether you know which mistakes you’re making or need someone to help you identify them, using the services of a dating coach pays off. If you’re not getting the desired result, you likely are making some mistakes, even if you’re not aware of it.

Talking to a professional about your experiences gives them the opportunity to identify areas that you need to improve in order to get better results. They will also offer ways to get to where you want to be.

22. Do you know what a dating coach can’t do for you?

A dating coach can’t find the right match for you. They can only help you find the right match for you. Meaning, most of the work will still be on you. They can hold your hand, but not through the entire process. All they can really do is talk to you, and you will be the one who’ll apply the advice and go on dates.

A dating professional can tell you what you could improve about yourself and let you know how, but they can’t do it for you. They also can’t make someone fall in love with you or solve all of your problems overnight.

23. Are you serious about improving your love life?

Since the dating coach can’t do the work for you, hiring one is not worth it if you aren’t willing to do the work. If you are serious about improving your love life, the advice they give you could be very valuable. But if you’re not serious about it, and put zero effort into applying what you learn, there’s really no point in learning it.

A dating coach can’t wave a magic wand and fix all your problems; you’re the one who must do the heavy lifting. If you’re not ready for that, hiring one won’t be worth it.

24. Are you ready to invest in improving your love life?

Hiring a dating coach costs money, but improving your love life costs your effort, time, and energy. So, you need to be ready to invest in improving your love life, and not just with your money. If you can’t or aren’t ready to make that investment, you aren’t going to get the results that you’re hoping for.

Ultimately, hiring a dating coach is worth it, but only if you do your part too.

And if this article has convinced you that you would benefit from a dating coach, we recommend the service provided by Relationship Hero – here, you’ll be able to connect with a coach via phone, video, or instant message.

Too many people try to muddle through and do their best to overcome the dating obstacles they are facing. Most never really get to grips with it all. If it’s at all possible in your circumstances, speaking to a dating coach is 100% the best way forward.

Click here if you’d like to learn more about the service Relationship Hero provide and the process of getting started.

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About Author

Ana Vakos enjoys writing about love and all the problems that come with it. Everyone has experiences with love, and everyone needs dating advice, so giving these topics more attention and spreading the word means a lot to her.