Energy is a precious resource, one that slips away often before we even notice. Some habits chip away at it silently, leaving us tired, overwhelmed, or just “off” without a clear reason. And it’s not always about the big, obvious stressors. Often, the small, everyday patterns quietly wear down our reserves.
Understanding these habits can be the first step toward reclaiming your energy and feeling more like yourself again. Let’s explore some of the most common energy drainers that might be hiding in plain sight.
1. Multitasking instead of focusing on one task.
Multitasking often feels like a way to get more done, but it can be very deceptive. People who switch between tasks quickly don’t actually do them simultaneously; instead, their brains shift focus repeatedly. This switching costs energy and efficiency, making it harder to complete anything well.
Research in cognitive psychology shows that task-switching reduces productivity and increases mental fatigue. For example, trying to answer emails during a meeting might seem efficient, but it usually leads to missing important details or making mistakes. The brain pays a price for dividing attention, which can leave people feeling drained and frustrated.
Personally, this is something I struggle with as I’m very easily distracted, but I’m persevering as I’ve found that focusing on one task at a time brings a clearer sense of accomplishment and less exhaustion.
2. Constantly checking your phone or social media.
The pull of a phone or social media can be surprisingly strong, often operating on autopilot. People who find themselves reaching for their phone every few minutes may not realize how much mental energy this consumes. Glancing at notifications or scrolling through feeds interrupts your focus and fragments your attention, making it harder to concentrate on tasks or fully engage in conversations.
Frequent phone checking also disrupts the brain’s natural rhythm. Instead of allowing the mind to rest or process thoughts, it becomes stuck in a loop of constant stimulation. Research shows that the mere (and constant) presence of our mobile phones drains our cognitive capacity.
I quit social media a couple of months ago, and the difference is striking. Without the constant pull to scroll, my attention is sharper and my mood lighter. I’m not as reactive or distracted, and I have more mental space for things that matter to me. You don’t have to ditch social media altogether (unless you want to), but setting clear boundaries around phone use, like specific “no phone” times or turning off non-essential notifications, can help preserve your energy.
3. Spending too much time in environments that don’t fit your unique needs.
Not all environments serve everyone equally, yet many people spend hours in spaces that don’t align with their personality, neurotype, or physical needs. This can be particularly problematic if you don’t yet understand what your needs are. You just know you feel wiped out.
For example, introverted people often find busy, noisy places overwhelming. Crowded offices, bustling cafes, or loud social gatherings can overstimulate their senses, leaving them exhausted rather than energized. On the other hand, extroverts might feel drained by too much quiet or isolation. People who are autistic, whether they realize it yet or not, might find environments with bright lights, strong smells, or chaotic environments physically and mentally taxing.
Ignoring these needs can lead to a slow but steady erosion of your energy. You might push through discomfort, thinking it’s normal or unavoidable, but the body and mind are quietly paying the price. Over time, this can contribute to burnout or increased stress levels.
The concept of neurodiversity offers a helpful lens here. It reminds us that brains and bodies function differently, and what works well for one person might be overwhelming or draining for another. Honoring these differences means understanding and adapting environments to support well-being, rather than trying to force square holes into round pegs.
4. Avoiding difficult conversations or conflicts.
Avoiding confrontation might seem like a way to keep peace, but it often drains energy in the long run. Unspoken issues can create underlying tension that occupies mental space and emotional energy.
People who dodge conflicts may replay scenarios in their heads or feel anxious about what might happen. This kind of mental rehearsal is exhausting. It can make it hard to focus on other things and leave them feeling emotionally drained. The anxiety about potential confrontation can become a constant background hum that saps energy day after day.
Approaching tough conversations with honesty and kindness can free up this energy. The art of having difficult conversations is not a skill all of us inherently possess, but it’s definitely one worth developing.
5. Holding onto grudges or resentment, even about small issues.
People who hold grudges often carry emotional burdens that weigh heavily on their mental and physical well-being. Even minor grievances, like ruminating on how someone spoke to you, can use up valuable mental resources.
As someone with a strong sense of justice, I can attest to how wiped out I feel after dwelling on a perceived slight or wrongdoing. My mind keeps replaying past hurts or injustices, which creates a constant state of tension or agitation. This emotional persistence takes up energy that could otherwise be used for more positive or productive purposes.
The effect of holding onto resentment isn’t just emotional; it can influence sleep quality, concentration, and even physical health. Studies have shown that unresolved anger or bitterness can increase stress hormones, which drain energy over time. Finding ways to process these feelings and let go is crucial.
6. Constant exposure to negative news or media.
The news cycle is relentless, and constant exposure to negative stories can weigh heavily on our emotional reserves. People who consume too much distressing content often report feeling helpless, anxious, or overwhelmed. This emotional toll quietly drains energy, making it harder to focus, stay motivated, or feel hopeful about the future.
The brain is wired to pay attention to threats, which is why negative news grabs attention so easily. But when exposure becomes constant, it can trigger a stress response that wears down mental and emotional stamina. This can lead to feelings of burnout or numbness, where empathy and compassion start to feel like exhausting burdens rather than sources of connection.
Personally, I’ve chosen to remove news apps from my phone. During the pandemic, I found myself obsessively checking the live updates, and this habit continued until I realized the damage it was having on my mood and energy levels. For those who want to stay in the loop whilst protecting their peace, choosing what and how much to watch or read is a powerful way to protect mental space. Setting limits, like checking the news only once or twice a day, and intentionally seeking out positive or uplifting stories, can help balance perspective.
7. Saying “yes” to everything and overcommitting.
Agreeing to every request can feel like a way to be helpful or avoid disappointing others, especially for the people-pleasers among us, but it often leads to overcommitment and burnout. People who habitually say yes often don’t realize how much energy they’re giving away until they feel stretched too thin.
The problem with overcommitting is that even if you can technically fit everything in, it leaves little room for self-care or rest. It can create stress and a constant feeling of being overwhelmed.
Learning to say no may be hard, but it’s essential. It requires you to recognize and accept your personal limits, something that a lot of us struggle with in today’s productivity-obsessed world. But once you understand that declining some requests actually protects your ability to contribute meaningfully elsewhere, it gets a lot easier.
8. Speaking to yourself harshly.
The way people speak to themselves influences their energy levels far more than they might realize. Negative self-talk, those internal messages that criticize or doubt, can sap our motivation and increase stress. When someone’s internal dialogue is dominated by phrases like “You stupid idiot” or “I always mess up,” it sets off a cascade of emotional and physiological reactions that tire them out over time.
Psychology Today advises that stress hormones like cortisol spike in response to negative thoughts, which can make the body feel tense and exhausted. This chronic stress response uses up energy reserves that would otherwise be available for daily tasks or relaxation. In addition, critical self-talk can lead to feelings of anxiety and depression, both of which are well-known for their draining effects.
What’s tricky is that many people don’t even notice how harshly they speak to themselves. It becomes a background noise that saps confidence and makes challenges feel heavier than they actually are.
Personally, I’ve found that just starting to pay attention to my inner dialogue has helped massively. I still find myself saying harsh things, but with awareness, I can counter them with more self-compassion, and this is helping the pattern to gradually change over time.
9. A lack of boundaries between work and personal time.
People who don’t set clear boundaries often feel like they’re “on” all the time, which leaves little space for rest or activities that recharge them.
The expectation to be constantly available, such as checking emails after hours or responding to messages late at night, can create chronic stress. Over time, this constant state of alertness can lead to burnout and exhaustion.
The pressure to always be connected is especially strong with remote work or flexible schedules, where the lines between work and home blur. Without intentional boundaries, it’s easy to slip into habits like checking emails late at night or working during family time, which chips away at your personal energy.
Simple rituals can make a big difference. Turning off your work notifications outside of set hours or creating a dedicated workspace signals to the brain that work time is over. These boundaries help protect your mental space and create a clearer separation between work and rest.
10. Surrounding yourself with negative or draining people.
Being in the company of draining people can slowly wear down our resilience, and these interactions don’t have to be long or intense to leave a mark. Even brief encounters with draining individuals can lower your mood and motivation, leaving you feeling depleted afterward.
These people might be energy vampires who complain constantly without seeking solutions. Others may be overly critical, pointing out flaws or mistakes in a way that chips away at your confidence. Then there are those who demand a lot of emotional support but rarely reciprocate, leaving you feeling drained and unappreciated. Each of these types pulls on emotional resources differently, but the result is the same: less energy for what truly matters.
Sometimes you have to choose to remove these people from your life; other times, you’ll need to find strategies to deal with draining people you can’t avoid, and this always starts with being really mindful bout how much energy you’re investing in them.
Final thoughts…
Our energy levels are shaped by our habits, thoughts, and surroundings. That’s why spotting small energy drains and making simple changes can make such a big difference. Start by identifying which of these energy-sapping habits most resonant with you, and gradually work from there. Even tiny shifts can add up to a steadier, more sustainable sense of energy day by day.
