The morals and standards you live by reflect your character. A strong character and integrity isn’t necessarily loud. Instead, it’s often quiet, present in the decisions that a moral person makes in a way that aligns with their beliefs. And it’s not always easy. In fact, doing the right thing is often quite difficult because of negative repercussions.
But once you’ve decided to live by strong moral standards, you just accept that as part of the deal.
Because of this, certain behaviors often stand out in people with unshakeable morals, so much so that you will notice them time and again. Behaviors like these:
1. They tell the truth, even when it’s not convenient.
Honesty is the foundation of integrity. Everything stems from honesty because it’s the only way you can move through the world boldly. People hide things when they’re up to no good. They obscure information, won’t give you full answers, or just try to manipulate you. This isn’t an acceptable way to live for a person with high moral standards.
Instead, they own their problems, bad choices, and mistakes. They offer to try to repair the harm they caused when they’re able to. At first, it’s harder than it seems. Who wants to reveal to the world that they did something wrong, that they’re ashamed, that their actions haven’t matched the way they want to interact with the world?
This approach is called “radical honesty.” Radical honesty lifts a heavy weight from your shoulders. What you find is that the people who matter tend to be forgiving. The people not involved will respect your character and integrity, and if they don’t, then they’re probably not someone you want around you to begin with.
Integrity isn’t about being liked. It’s about being honest and trustworthy.
2. They take responsibility instead of making excuses.
Everyone makes mistakes. And it’s funny when people claim they don’t or never take responsibility, because everyone but them can see how ridiculous it is. Like, sure, buddy, you’ve never said or done anything you wish you could take back. Right. It’s ridiculous. If you want to be a person with integrity, then you need to honor your fallible, human nature.
So many people are afraid of accepting responsibility for their own choices and actions. As Olsen Psychotherapy shares, the reasons could range from conflict avoidance to just not knowing how to do it because you never had a healthy example of how to take responsibility.
What these people don’t understand is that accepting you’re wrong is one of the most powerful, respectable things you can do. The people who matter will respect you for it. They will see your example, think wow, and then offer you more trust than the average person or a person who tries to be deceptive.
Not only that, but when you start making excuses, you usually have to start lying or manipulating to keep your wrongs covered up. That’s not a good precedent to set because you have to keep track of all of those lies, of which lies you told to which people. It’s exhausting. It’s just easier and better, to be honest and say, “I screwed up. I apologize. Can I fix it?”
3. They treat everyone with basic respect.
Respect has two definitions, and it trips up a lot of people. The definition most people think of is to hold someone in high regard. Like you may respect your boss at work because they are an exceptional leader. The other definition is to acknowledge and accept the differences of other people. If you’ve taken a look at society lately, you can see that’s a struggle for a lot of people.
A person with high morals and integrity will treat everyone the latter way, regardless of their background, ability, or personal beliefs. They acknowledge that everyone needs to be treated with respect, and our differences help make the world a more interesting place. Plus, you can learn a lot from people who aren’t like you if you are willing to step out of your comfort zone and into their world.
Still, a lot of people aren’t that comfortable with themselves, or they don’t see that kind of respect as important. People with high moral standards understand that the way they treat others is a reflection of them, not the other person. So, “matching their energy” is just dropping to their level and disrespecting yourself, more than anything.
4. They do the right thing when no one’s watching.
People with a weak moral compass will typically take the easier route when it’s presented to them, especially if no one will notice the difference. However, people with high integrity understand that you can’t be lazy about practicing and living up to your ethics. If you’re going to do it, then you have to do it, even when no one’s watching.
They will do things like return change, fix errors that benefit them over others, and take the time to make someone else’s life easier, even if they don’t know about it. They don’t need an audience to clap for them when they do. They just need to know in their own heart-of-hearts that they did the right thing and that will be good enough. It doesn’t matter if other people like it or not.
Personally, it was difficult for me to make this change in my life. I grew up in a social environment where pretty much everyone was out for themselves. If no one was looking, you could expect someone to take advantage of you or a situation that might favor them. For example, if a store made a mistake, I would have no issue pocketing the difference and not giving a second thought to it.
I justified it as, “Well, they’re a big company and I’m not. They can afford to lose it.” But, I eventually came to understand that wasn’t a good way to conduct my life. We have the choice to choose how we move through life, and I decided that doing that sort of thing didn’t match with the ethics I was trying to cultivate in myself at the time.
Yeah, a lot of corporations do a lot of crappy things, but that doesn’t mean I should be sinking to their level. That’s a reflection of me, not them.
5. They stand up for what’s right, even if they stand alone.
Sometimes you have to be willing to stand alone to speak against something that’s wrong. Social groups can easily get off course, influenced by external factors that they may not even be aware of. A person with high integrity will speak out, regardless of whether or not it makes them unpopular, and what the repercussions might be.
Is that an easy thing to do? Absolutely not, because a lot of times the people who speak are the ones who get punished. Still, once you become serious about protecting your morals and ethics, isolation is a small price to pay to know that you didn’t compromise on something you found uncompromisable.
These people often believe that silence in the face of injustice makes others complicit, and they would rather lose the approval of the group than sacrifice their personal standards.
6. They live by their principles instead of convenience.
Other people may adjust their values and moral code when circumstances change, but these people don’t. Their moral code acts as a compass, leading them in the direction they find favorable and most in line with their principles and beliefs. A strong moral code helps you to stay calm under pressure and preserves your integrity when other people push you to break it.
Sometimes, that happens. A lot of people want to take the easy route, and the easy route is often dishonest or unethical. That reflects badly on you from a personal perspective, in that you’ve let yourself down by doing something you shouldn’t have. But then you also have social repercussions when others find out about it. And they will. They always do. People can’t keep their mouths shut.
Final thoughts…
It’s hard to live a life in line with integrity and morals, but at the same time, it’s far more peaceful. You may experience some negative repercussions from standing up for what you think is right, being honest, and following your moral code, but that’s easier than living with doing the wrong thing.
People are social creatures, generally speaking, and we often go along with the group because we don’t want to rock the boat. But sometimes, the boat needs to be rocked when the group loses its way. You need passionate voices to speak up when something’s wrong so you can get the boat back on the right track.
