Being ignored is never nice, especially when it’s by someone you love.
Ignoring someone is a way of running away from a situation and will inevitably make things worse if left to continue.
Whether your boyfriend isn’t texting back, or you’ve stopped speaking after an argument, one of you will have to be the one to break the silence.
If it’s a recurring theme in your relationship, the stress and frustration of your boyfriend ignoring you is only going to keep growing and getting you down. It’s not a healthy way to go about a relationship and should be addressed if you want things to work out.
You can’t let this behavior go on forever, so it’s time to find a solution to the problem. It might involve you backing off for a little while, or alternatively, being the one to take the first step in making a change to the way you communicate.
It’s not an easy situation to deal with and will take a lot of mental and emotional strength to overcome. Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated by their silent treatment and recognize if it’s making you act in a way you wouldn’t usually. You might also want to consider if this is the right relationship for you.
If you’re finding it hard to deal with a boyfriend who’s ignoring you and you’re not sure what to do next, here are some tips to help:
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1. Call out his behavior.
If you see a pattern in your boyfriend’s behavior, call him out on it. Maybe he ignores you when you disagree with him or don’t do something he wants you to do. Either way, it’s not right for him to ignore you to try to manipulate your feelings.
He may not realize he’s doing it. But if it keeps happening, then point it out to him and see if he’s willing to find a compromise.
No one likes a stand off, but you don’t deserve to be bullied into something you don’t agree with because of your boyfriend’s behavior. He needs to know this if he’s going to change his behavior.
2. Ask how he’s feeling.
You might think you understand a situation, but until you actually ask your boyfriend how he’s feeling, you never know for sure.
If he’s been ignoring you, have you taken the time to ask him if everything is ok? You might find it easy to talk about how you feel, but your boyfriend might not be as comfortable expressing himself.
A little bit of encouragement and support from you could be all he needs to confide in you about something that’s been on his mind and affecting his behavior.
Alternatively, have you thought about how you could be making him feel? If he’s been pulling away from you lately, could you have contributed to that?
Think about if there has been anything you’ve said or done that would make him want some space from you. If you have, then take the opportunity to acknowledge how you’ve been making him feel, apologize, and work on making it up to him.
3. Tell him how you feel.
Communication is essential if you want a relationship to work, and you won’t have a future together if he keeps shutting down.
Some people are more open and talkative than others and it’s ok to not be as vocal as your partner. But if you feel as though your boyfriend is actively ignoring you, then it’s going to start damaging your self-esteem and your own ability to communicate.
He may not realize how much his actions are affecting you, and unless you tell him, the situation will keep getting worse. Sit down with him and tell him how you feel when he ignores you and what you need him to do to communicate better.
Perhaps you feel angry, sad, unwanted, unloved, unimportant, invisible, or rejected. Reflect on the underlying emotions you have and communicate them clearly to your boyfriend.
Once you’ve shared how you feel, it’s up to him to choose to act on it and make positive change for the sake of your relationship. If he doesn’t, then you know he’s not the person for you.
Whether he’s ignoring you after an argument or has just been acting differently recently, giving your boyfriend some time and space to work through this isn’t a bad idea.
If you’ve had an argument and he’s ignoring you, he might just need some time to calm down and work out how he’s feeling. It’s good for both of you to take some time to calm your emotions so you can work through your issues without the risk of another fight.
If he’s suddenly started ignoring you out of nowhere, he could be stressed about something you don’t know about. He will come to you in his own time, so don’t add to the problem by being needy and demanding. Let him know you’re there to support him when he’s ready and he’ll appreciate you even more for understanding.
5. Don’t overcompensate.
Just because he’s ignoring you, it doesn’t mean you need to communicate for the both of you.
Trying to make someone talk to you by bombarding them with phone calls and messages will only make the problem worse. The more you pressure him to talk, the less likely he’s going to want to.
If you’ve reached out to him and he hasn’t responded, leave it until he is ready to get back in contact. He might just need some space. Sending numerous messages to him will only make him feel overwhelmed. It will also leave you feeling more frustrated when you don’t get a response.
6. Apologize if you’ve upset him.
You might know the reason your boyfriend is ignoring you, and if that’s the case, then it’s up to you to take the first step to fix the problem.
You might have had an argument or done something to upset him, and as hard as it is to admit you’re wrong, you need to respect the fact that you’ve hurt his feelings.
Apologizing isn’t always easy, but it’s the right thing to do if you know you’ve done something to hurt your partner.
If this is a recurring pattern in your relationship, then maybe look at how you can better communicate and break the cycle. Be upfront when you know you’ve made a mistake, and if you don’t understand why your actions have hurt him so much, then ask.
To grow together, you need to learn to understand each other better and avoid situations of conflict that make each other upset.
Try not to let a bad situation go unaddressed. It can be hard to be the one to take the first step in making things better, but it will be worth it in the end.
7. Know your worth.
When we really like someone, it’s easy to let our emotions cloud our judgment. You might have fallen for someone and think you’re having a great time, but are they treating you the way you deserve?
If your boyfriend keeps blowing hot and cold and you never know how he’s going to react, is he really worth sticking around for?
Even if you have a great time when you’re together, it’s not fair to be left feeling confused as to why he hasn’t called or replied to your messages, and wondering when the next time you see him might be.
If you’re making excuses for him, stop. We all get busy, we all forget to charge our phones, but if we really want to speak to someone, we make the effort.
Never knowing if you’ve done something to offend him or being left waiting for him to call will take a toll on your mental health and can play on your anxieties, damaging your self-confidence in the process.
You don’t deserve to be with someone who ignores you, and it isn’t what a healthy relationship looks like. Know your own worth and find someone who can’t wait to see you and spend time with you and forget the one who won’t answer your texts.
8. Schedule some time together.
Although it feels like your boyfriend is ignoring you, it might not be the case. He could genuinely be distracted or too busy to respond in the way he used to.
If he’s under pressure at work or is channeling his energy into a specific project, he could be unintentionally neglecting other aspects of his life through lack of time or focus.
His distraction could be taking its toll on your relationship and mean that he’s not giving you the level of attention you deserve.
If you can see that your boyfriend’s focus is taken up with something else, don’t make him feel guilty or try to make him choose between you or his project. He can’t always help when he has a lot on or is committed to something, and it will take some understanding from you to accept this about him.
Try instead to plan out specific times for you to be together. It doesn’t always have to be a date; it could be as simple as planning a lunch time phone call for 10mins. But by sticking to a time, it reaffirms your commitment to each other and means that you still share a quality moment even in the midst of everything going on around you.
Don’t be hurt if your boyfriend isn’t responding when you want him to. Instead, take the matter into your own hands and be proactive about how you spend your time together. With a little compromise and a lot of understanding on both of your parts, you can find a solution that works.
9. Organize some fun dates.
If you’re caught in a rut or worried that things are going stale and your boyfriend seems to have lost interest in you, then it’s time to spice things up again.
Give each other something to talk about by planning a surprise date. Take the chance to do something out of the ordinary; something fun to help loosen you up around each other again.
Spending some quality time together will give you a chance to get back that spark that’s been dimming and fire up your interest in each other again.
10. Resist giving him the cold shoulder.
When your boyfriend is seemingly ignoring you, you might be tempted to give him the cold shoulder. Perhaps you hope that he’ll realize how much it can hurt to be ignored and come running back to you with a sincere apology.
However, that is not a very likely scenario. Instead, he’ll either not care that much and you’ll spend even less time together than you do now, or he’ll get upset and defensive and it’ll cause a huge argument.
No, the best thing you can do is to have a conversation and thrash out how you each feel before trying to find a solution together, as a team.
11. Don’t beg for his attention—know when to break up.
If your boyfriend continues to demonstrate his true feelings by ignoring you even after you have raised your concerns with him, know when to end things.
As painful as a breakup can be, it will be far better for everyone in the long run. You should never spend a relationship begging for scraps of attention when you could find someone who will give you their undivided attention on a regular basis.
Remember: not all couples are meant to be together. Some people just aren’t right for each other.
Don’t wait for things to change on their own or for him to make the first move. If you want your relationship to last and your boyfriend to start taking an interest again, take matters into your own hands and force the both of you to spend some time together to reconnect.
The problem with the silent treatment is that you get nowhere with it. It’s okay if your boyfriend needs some space to collect his thoughts, but if he isn’t making the effort to come back to you after a short while, then he isn’t even trying to find a resolution.
If your boyfriend keeps ignoring you, ask yourself: if he isn’t willing to fight for the relationship, am I? Don’t let yourself be controlled by his behavior, waiting by the phone for his message. You’re worth more than just being there for when he feels like he wants to talk.
As much as you might have to be the one to make the first move in a change to your communication style, it can’t all be down to you. Your boyfriend has to be willing to work on the way he reacts and be more willing to open up about how he’s feeling so you know where you stand.
Both of you are equals in this relationship and should respect each other as that. Find a way to communicate when things get hard that suits you both, rather than shutting down. Or find the courage to move on and meet someone who would love nothing more than to spend time with you.
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