If you’re reading this article, then you know that feeling when someone speaks to you with that particular tone—the one that makes it crystal clear they think you’re beneath them. Maybe it’s the coworker who explains things you already know in a painfully slow voice, or the family member who dismisses your opinions before you finish speaking.
These moments hurt because they’re designed to. But there’s something many people don’t realize: how you respond in these situations can completely shift the power dynamic. You don’t have to accept being treated as lesser than, because you’re not, and you certainly don’t have to sink to their level to reclaim your dignity. Do these 10 things instead:
1. Don’t react emotionally in the moment – stay calm and composed.
Your first instinct when someone treats you poorly might be to snap back or defend yourself. This reaction is completely natural—our brains are wired to fight back when we feel attacked. But emotional reactions are exactly what the other person is hoping for. They want proof that they got under your skin.
When you stay calm while someone else is being condescending, you maintain control of the situation. The power dynamic shifts immediately. Suddenly, you’re the composed one while they’re revealed as the person who can’t maintain basic respect.
Try lowering your voice instead of raising it. Maintain steady eye contact if you’re ok with eye contact. If you’re like me and find eye contact uncomfortable, you don’t need to force it. If I feel like I need to make eye contact, I’ll focus on the bridge of the person’s nose instead. Keep your facial expression neutral. Take a breath before speaking.
These small actions send a clear message: their attempt to rattle you has failed. You’re operating from strength, not defensiveness. And that drives people like this absolutely crazy… which is exactly the point.
2. Ask clarifying questions that expose their behavior.
Questions are incredibly powerful when dealing with people who think they’re superior to you. Simple phrases like “What did you mean by that?” or “Can you explain why you think that?” force someone to either back down or reveal their true intentions.
Most people who treat others as inferior rely on subtext and implications rather than direct confrontation. They make snide comments, use dismissive body language, or speak in ways that are technically polite but clearly disrespectful. For example, the relative who says “Well, that’s… interesting” when you share good news. Or the colleague who responds to your ideas with “Okay, but here’s what we should actually do.”
When you ask them to clarify their meaning, you’re turning on a spotlight and aiming it right at them. If their intentions were innocent, they can easily explain. If they weren’t, they’re now in the uncomfortable position of either admitting their disrespect or scrambling to backtrack. Most subtle bullies hate being forced to say the quiet part out loud.
3. Set clear boundaries without justifying yourself.
When someone consistently treats you poorly, clear boundaries become essential. The key is stating your limits firmly without falling into the trap of over-explaining. Responses like “That’s not acceptable” or “I won’t be spoken to that way” are complete statements that don’t require elaboration.
We often make the mistake of following our boundaries with lengthy explanations about why we deserve better treatment. While this feels natural, it actually weakens your position because it suggests your boundaries are up for debate. People who already view you as inferior will see those justifications as opportunities to argue or find loopholes.
“No” is a complete sentence. You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation for refusing to accept disrespectful treatment. Whether it’s a boss who speaks to you like a child, a relative who makes cutting remarks, or a friend who constantly puts you down, your boundaries aren’t negotiable. State them clearly, calmly, and without apology.
4. Use their own behavior as a mirror.
Sometimes, the most effective approach to dealing with people like this is to hold up a mirror that reflects their behavior back to them. Responses like “I’m sure you didn’t mean to sound so dismissive” or “That came across as quite condescending” accomplish several things at once. They call out the problematic behavior while appearing to give the benefit of the doubt.
This works because it makes unconscious behavior conscious. Many people who treat others poorly have convinced themselves they’re just being honest or direct. When you name their behavior specifically, you force them to confront what they’re actually doing rather than what they think they’re doing.
The phrasing is important, though. You need to make sure you’re not attacking their character or making accusations about their intentions. Instead, describe the impact of their words in a way that gives them a face-saving opportunity to correct course. Most reasonable people will adjust their approach when they realize how they’re coming across. Those who don’t have revealed that their disrespectful behavior is entirely intentional.
5. Document patterns of behavior (especially in professional settings).
If you’re dealing with someone who consistently treats you as inferior—particularly at work—documentation becomes your best friend. Keep detailed records of incidents, including dates, times, witnesses present, exact words used, and the impact on your work.
The difference between isolated incidents and patterns of behavior is crucial. Everyone has bad days, but systematic disrespect is something entirely different. When you document these interactions, you’re creating a clear picture of ongoing problems rather than relying on memory or getting caught in “he said, she said” situations.
This serves multiple purposes. It protects you if the situation escalates and you need to involve HR or supervisors. It provides concrete evidence rather than vague feelings of being mistreated. And knowing that you’re keeping records can give you confidence to address problematic behavior more directly because you have facts, not just emotions, backing up your concerns.
6. Don’t try to prove your worth to someone who’s already decided you’re beneath them.
One of the most exhausting traps we fall into is trying to earn respect from someone who has zero intention of giving it. You might find yourself over-performing at work to impress a dismissive boss, constantly defending your choices to critical family members, or working overtime to prove yourself to people who clearly look down on you.
This behavior often backfires because it actually reinforces their belief that they’re superior. After all, why would you be working so hard for their approval if you were truly their equal? Your efforts to prove your worth become evidence in their minds that you recognize their superior position.
People who have genuinely decided you’re beneath them aren’t operating from logic or fairness. They’re not waiting for you to accumulate enough achievements or demonstrate enough competence to change their minds. Their opinion of you serves a purpose in their own warped mind—it makes them feel better about themselves, gives them control, or feeds some other emotional need that has absolutely nothing to do with your actual worth.
7. Surround yourself with people who treat you with respect.
When you’re regularly around people who value and respect you, it becomes much easier to identify situations where you’re being treated poorly. Strong, supportive relationships provide both perspective and strength when dealing with those who don’t appreciate your worth.
In contrast, isolation makes us vulnerable to accepting treatment we wouldn’t normally tolerate. If the only feedback you’re getting comes from people who view you negatively, you might start believing their assessment is accurate. But when you have friends, family, or colleagues who consistently treat you with dignity, you have a clearer baseline for what normal interactions should look like.
People who are used to being treated well become more sensitive to disrespectful behavior, not less. They’re quicker to recognize when someone is being inappropriate because it stands out against their usual experiences. They’re also more likely to address problems directly because they’re confident in their own worth and don’t question whether they deserve better treatment.
8. Respond with unexpected kindness or humor (when appropriate).
There are situations where responding to condescending behavior with unexpected grace or gentle humor can completely deflate someone’s attempt to put you down. This works because it refuses to participate in the dynamic they’re trying to create.
When someone expects you to get defensive, angry, or upset, responding with genuine kindness or light humor can catch them off guard. It demonstrates that their opinion doesn’t affect your sense of self-worth, and it often reveals their behavior as petty by contrast.
For example, if someone makes a snide comment about your appearance, you might respond with “Thanks for noticing! I felt great when I got dressed this morning.” Or if they dismiss your idea in a meeting with obvious disdain, you could say cheerfully, “Well, I’m sure we’ll figure out the best approach together.” The key is delivering these responses with genuine warmth rather than sarcasm.
However, timing and authenticity are crucial. This approach works best when you genuinely feel confident and aren’t using kindness as a mask for hurt feelings. It’s also important to recognize when this strategy might backfire—some people will interpret kindness as weakness or an invitation to escalate their poor behavior. Trust your instincts on this one. If someone has shown you they’re genuinely malicious rather than just thoughtless, kindness probably won’t be effective.
9. Know when to walk away or disengage completely.
Sometimes the most powerful response to someone who treats you as inferior is no response at all. Strategic disengagement can be incredibly effective, especially with people who seem to feed off conflict, drama, or getting reactions from others.
This might mean cutting conversations short when someone becomes disrespectful, leaving social events where you’re being treated poorly, or, in extreme cases, ending relationships entirely. Some people simply aren’t worth your time or energy.
People who consistently treat others as inferior often thrive on the attention that comes from provoking reactions. When you remove yourself from their orbit, you take away their source of entertainment.
10. Understand that their behavior says nothing about you and everything about them.
People who consistently treat others as though they’re inferior are usually revealing more about their own character and insecurities than they are about the people they’re targeting. This understanding can be incredibly liberating because it helps you stop taking their behavior personally.
Someone who needs to put others down to feel good about themselves is operating from deep insecurity. People who are genuinely confident don’t need to diminish others to maintain their sense of self-worth. Those who consistently treat others poorly are often dealing with their own trauma, unhealed wounds, or character flaws that have nothing to do with you.
This doesn’t excuse their behavior or mean you should tolerate it, but it does provide a helpful perspective. When you understand that their treatment of you is really about them, you can respond more strategically rather than emotionally. You’re less likely to internalize their opinions or waste energy trying to figure out what you did wrong.
Final thoughts…
Dealing with people who treat you as inferior requires both inner strength and strategic thinking. You can maintain your dignity without stooping to their level, and you can stand up for yourself without becoming the aggressor.
The key is responding from confidence rather than defensiveness, setting clear boundaries, and remembering that their behavior reflects their character, not your worth. Most importantly, surround yourself with people who see your value—they’ll remind you of who you really are.
