Some people are content to frolic through life with little thought to how ephemeral it is. They’ll put off plans, take risks without considering the ramifications of their actions, and let time pass without too much thought about it.
This behavior is in stark contrast to that of those who are incredibly attuned to the passage of time, and how life can turn upside down — or even end — when we least expect it.
Many people who fall into this category have experienced sudden loss, serious illness, or near-death experiences, or have gone through major upheavals that have made them acutely aware of just how finite time is. Others grew up in unpredictable environments, or simply have temperaments that lean toward reflection, anxiety, or deep existential awareness.
Whatever the driving force, these individuals can usually be easily identified because they tend to share the following traits, sometimes to their own detriment.
9 traits of people who fear life’s fleeting and fragile nature:
1. They don’t “waste” time.
It’s usually anathema for people who fear life’s fleeting nature to waste any time. While others are happy to do things at an easy, relaxed pace, they have to get as much done in a day as humanly possible.
They tend to have incredibly active and busy schedules, and fill every moment with as much productivity as they can.
I definitely fall into this category. Having had several near-death experiences over the course of my life thus far, I have spent years being excruciatingly aware of the fact that I may not have much time left.
As a result, I try to be as efficient as possible in everything I do, multitasking in all directions… usually to my own detriment.
2. They can wear themselves thin by overachieving.
People who are highly attuned to the relentless passage of time tend to have an acute awareness of how short their tenure is. As such, they often want to achieve as much as possible as quickly as possible.
This is not only related to their allotted time on earth, but also to the overall decline of their capability. They are acutely aware that some pursuits are only possible when the body is capable of healing from injury, and that our general capability declines as we age.
Quite simply, they understand that as they get older, certain things will no longer be feasible. As such, they often push beyond their limits and through their exhaustion whilst they can.
For example, people like action stars or professional ballerinas do incredible feats in their earlier years while they can, but the result is often that their bodies have been wrecked by everything they put them through.
Similarly, people who relentlessly pursue academia, career achievement, or simply excelling at whatever they put their mind to often reach a point where they can no longer do so due to physical or cognitive decline and utter burnout.
3. They feel the pain of unrealized potential more than most.
People who are acutely attuned to time’s passage may be keenly aware of their capabilities and what they could achieve. As such, they get very upset and frustrated if they lack the resources, time, or opportunities to reach that potential.
For example, perhaps they always wanted to start a business, retrain for a career, or pursue a gift for painting, but responsibilities, finances, or chronic illness got in the way.
On a fundamental level, the fact that they’re not reaching their full potential is excruciating to them. All of life’s responsibilities, drudgeries, and injustices weigh down on them horribly, whilst the sands of time trickle down inexorably.
4. They find it very difficult to enjoy downtime.
People who are acutely aware of time endlessly ticking away will often find it next to impossible to settle for much-needed downtime.
In fact, they often consider downtime self-indulgent, and nearly have to be forced to relax. They tend to multitask even when they’re supposed to be resting and recuperating — including from illness!
These are the people who might take their laptops with them on vacation so they can sneak some work in between beach visits. Or they’ll only be able to sit and watch a movie in the evening for a few minutes before getting up to fold laundry.
This can often cause arguments with loved ones who are trying to help them decompress, which, of course, frustrates them even more because additional time has been wasted arguing about how they aren’t relaxing properly.
5. If they have children, they may push them too hard.
Those who are keenly aware of life’s ephemeral nature are also usually keenly aware that they won’t be able to look after their kids forever.
As such, they may feel like they need to push their kids to achieve as much as they can, while they’re still around to do so, and do their utmost to ensure that their children are in the best place possible.
Sometimes, this awareness of how quickly time is passing can cause them to try to live vicariously through their children. This is especially true if they’re now too old to do certain things, or if they missed an opportunity to do something similar when they were young.
This can create serious strife within the family, as you can imagine. The children don’t feel seen and appreciated as individuals, but instead feel forced to follow someone else’s dreams instead of their own.
6. They are prone to anxiety and hypochondria.
Many individuals who have had firsthand experience with life’s fragile, temporary nature — either through their own near-death moments or the loss of loved ones — become anxious about how much time they may or may not have left.
Some are also prone to hypochondria, and either Google various symptoms to determine whether they’re seriously ill or not, or they make frequent doctor’s appointments just to make sure they’re okay.
By learning as much as they can about a topic and trying to stay abreast of any possible health-related changes, they hope to be able to fend off their inevitable end a little while longer.
7. They often have a morbid sense of humor.
Those who are attuned to time’s relentless passage are often those who have been through some serious stuff. As such, many of them develop rather dark “gallows humor” as a coping mechanism. They’ve seen the end of the road ahead of them, and they’re choosing to skip along towards that final destination with jokes and songs.
They do so because facing potentially scary things with jokes and lightheartedness can take the sting out of them and allow them to handle these issues with curiosity and amusement rather than depression and anxiety.
That said, while it can be a beneficial coping mechanism for many, it can sometimes become problematic if it’s used to avoid sitting with difficult feelings or when it creates emotional distance between the individual and those they love.
8. They can either be fearless or extremely cautious.
Individuals who are highly attuned to the passage of time are often either highly fearful or entirely fearless, depending on their personalities.
Essentially, personal experiences paired with the awareness of imminent mortality can make one person feel small and anxious, and can make another emotionally bulletproof.
The former can become so overwhelmed by existential angst that they end up paralyzed — either unable to make decisions about how to spend their time in case they waste it, or terrified of doing something that might make them sick, injure them, or otherwise reduce their swiftly shrinking lifespan.
In contrast, the latter can sometimes come across as callous to those around them. Other people might assume that they don’t care about anything at all, when in reality they’ve simply developed a healthy sense of non-attachment to things.
9. They often keep journals or similar autobiographical works for posterity.
Whether they have kids or not, people like this often want to leave some kind of a legacy for others to remember them by.
Since they’re patently aware that they only have a set amount of time left, they want to make sure that there’s nothing left unsaid or unknown. This often stems from their own experiences of observing how unanswered questions — as well as unspoken emotions — affect people after loss occurs.
They don’t want to inflict the same experience upon those around them, so they record details about themselves that may be helpful to their loved ones.
These records might include everything from secret family recipes to medical history details, or meaningful sentiments they couldn’t share for various reasons.
And while journaling can be healthy and therapeutic, when it’s driven by fear of being forgotten or leaving things unsaid, it can become detrimental. For some, it can become a source of anxiety in itself — a sense that they must “capture” their life before it slips away.
Final thoughts…
We never know how much time we have left, and that may cause anxiety or frustration. It doesn’t have to, though.
Life may be fragile and temporary, but it’s also beautiful. As such, we can take cues from those who focus on all the wonder life has to offer, enjoy the time that is given to us, and face difficulties in whatever way works for us.
Time may keep slipping by, but every moment we experience gives us the opportunity to have joy while we’re still here.
